Writen by: Unveiled Wife On January 7, 2014

Book Review – Real Marriage By Mark Driscoll


The Giveaway

I have the privilege of teaming up with Vyrso to bring you an amazing opportunity to win BIG! By entering this giveaway you have the chance to win Logos 5 Gold, an iPad mini and a Real Marriage Book and study guide!  These resources would be great for encouraging your marriage, so don’t hesitate to enter right now!

The Conference

Mark Driscoll leads Mars Hill Church in Seattle, Wa.  Passionate about sharing the gospel and encouraging healthy marriages, Mark launched The Real Marriage Conference, based on the contents of the Real Marriage Book.  My husband and I understand the value in committing to bettering marriage through experiences such as this, so we did not hesitate to attend this awesome event and we believe you should as well. Click her to register for the simulcast here.

The Review

When Real Marriage by Mark Driscoll was first released, my husband decided to listen to the audio version.  One day while driving together it played and I was immediately captivated by the transparency of Mark and his wife Grace.

My husband was so inspired by the material presented in Driscoll’s book, he passionately encouraged me to listen to a few more chapters as we commuted home from work together.  It was refreshing to hear Mark and Grace be open in their book, courageously tackling issues that affect marriage including friendship, sex, intimacy, abuse, past experiences, and the reality of sin destroying marriages.

One quote from the book in regards to sin says,

“We can kill our sin, or sin will kill our marriages.”

Another quote pulled from the book about friendship between spouses encourages,

“Marital friendship requires both the husband and wife to be willing to invest what it takes to to be a good friend.”

I was so blessed by the short excerpt I listened to in the car that I went and purchased a hard copy of the book.  I knew there would be a ton of great insight that I would want to highlight and underline, making it easier to refer back to if I ever needed to.

What I Got Out Of It:

The book was an easy read.  It was relevant and very informational.  My husband and I respect Mark and Grace for expounding on the topic of marriage, encouraging husbands and wives to evaluate their lives and move towards oneness together.  Mark and Grace reveal some of their personal marital struggles, as well as victories they reached together, by the grace of God.  Also, one topic that I feel is presented thoroughly was about pornography.  Being a wife who has endured the harsh reality that pornography has been a vice in my marriage, I was relieved to know that my husband and I were gaining understanding in the matter.  Confronting such issues, and having a piece of the other side revealed through testimony was convicting, yet empowering.  My husband and I need to be wise in this area as we combat the issue together.

Mark does give a disclaimer at the beginning of the book saying,

“Although we seek to be faithful to the bible, this book is not the Bible, and, like you, we are imperfect, so there will be mistakes.  Take whatever gifts you find in this book, and feel free to leave the rest.”

I am learning that Mark Driscoll is a Pastor sitting beneath a very large microscope.  He has many people who do not agree with his teaching, presentation, or perspectives.  Like any other person subject to fame, comes scrutiny.  Many people question if this book is truly helpful for marriages.  I found the content of the book to be helpful, in particular the issues that are mentioned, I was able to talk about with my husband; so the book served as a platform of discussion that did in fact help my marriage in communicating to my husband.  Everyone will have their own opinions regarding the content of Real Marriage, but I say read it for yourself!  Get this resource for you and your husband to read together and then discuss it thoroughly.  See what you agree with or don’t agree with and why.

We believe wholeheartedly that God is moving mightily in marriages.  He is calling us to live up to His standards, reflecting the greatest love story ever!  It is time to take a stand for marriage, gear up, get equipped, and prepare ourselves for the inevitable battles that will try and shake our foundation.  We do this by gaining understanding and seeking wisdom in how to better our marriages, using resources and tools to help us along the way!

Questions, comments, concerns?  If you have anything to add to this review of Real Marriage, please feel free to add in the comments below!

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Unveiled Wife

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My name is Jennifer and I began this BLOG to share my journey as a wife, unveiled, uncovered and wide open, to purge my heart of the pain I have encountered AND to encourage other women in the world who are, have been, or will soon be wives... READ MY STORY HERE

Join The Discussion, Leave A Comment Below!

  • The Beautiful Wife

    I would love to receive the Real Marriage book!
    I feel like a big challenge to marriages is that so many people are in it for what they can get out of it (their own happiness), instead of for what they can give and how they can grow. They rely on their ‘feelings’ of being in love and give up when the feelings fade.. rather than choosing and committing to love, despite their present circumstances or how they feel.

  • belcanto10r

    The single greatest challenge to marriage today is a lack of commitment. Commitment to Christ and to spouse is the only way for marriage to survive and thrive.

  • Shekisha Mcmoore Lea

    The biggest challenge in marriages today is communication and the failure to die to self.

  • Curtis Crandall

    I feel like communication is the biggest challenge facing married couples today.

  • Mary Tullila

    Infedelity..porn addictions etc would be a marriage buster.

  • Debra

    I agree. I have this book, actually two copies and a pink and blue highlighter. You can view a lot of the videos online as well. The study books are good. I would also say to anyone out there, you don’t have to agree with everything in the book but it has a lot that is very insightful. Pastors hear a lot of stuff and I feel he is being truthful in what he presents to the best of his ability.

  • Timonik93

    Jesus is the reason we live. Jesus is the reason we are here. Jesus is our Savior. Jesus is our Sustainer, our Redeemer, Jesus is Love, Jesus is our Guidance, Jesus is everything we need in our Marriages. He is the one who empowered us to be who we need to be for His Glory. His Word is our source and the way to get to know Him. He is the one who makes our marriages thrive for His Glory. He will Restore our marriages for His name sake.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1822055395 Gina Diane Baillargeon

    I believe my husband and I need more things to do together, to strengthen our marriage. We’ve had some very bad ups and downs, and I’ve been without him for 15 months because he has been in jail. I pray for him daily, and we write each other constantaly. I just beleive that if we had a spiritual time set aside daily, such as reading the book a little at a time together each night, we can start to become stronger and closer to not only ourelves, but to God as well.

  • Hellokittykat1020

    show me what I am doing wrong and help me forgive my past and present

  • http://www.facebook.com/jenraisbeck Jennifer Raisbeck

    After five years in a turbulent marriage and one year of my walk with Christ, I am thankful I have found this community.  So much information to help us women in our spiritual walks in our marriages!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Sara-White/750196529 Sara White

    Marriage is such a wonderful thing, but so challenging as well. Each person brings their own thoughts and ideas, hopes and dreams and personalities, and sometimes that is very challenging. Espeacially when trying to communicate all these different aspects to one another. I wouldlove to have this book for myself and husband so that we could learn to communicate with each other better and build a better relationship with each other!

  • Trudierobson

    I want to establish that I love Jesus, our Father and the Holy Spirit. However I am on my 3rd marriage and need help because I struggle daily with the want to run from this marriage. I love my husband and know that the Lord put us together. Please consider me for the free book. 

  • Michelle

    I am hoping we can get the book even if we can’t win it here. I have been hearing wonderful things about this book everywhere. My husband is amazing and our relationship is strong but any chance to improve I’m up for. This world is hard on marriages defending our marriages is our only chance at happily ever after. :)

  • Chrissy

    I know I need to be more patient wit my husband. He is the best guy in the world. Would love to win a copy of this book!

  • Mrs Long

    I’m sure this would be an interesting read :)

  • Sistacooley

    We have been together nearly 10 yrs. Been through many struggles. This book seems to be an encouragement to keep pushing on.

  • Candace

    Im hoping this book will continue to guide us on the right path and continue to do right by each other. Everyday is a struggle within itself with the outside beliefs on what a relationship SHOULD be like in this day and age.

  • Dnr925

    God created marriage and joined two as one to love for a lifetime.My husband and i walked into it with no back door escape like  devorce,love and forgive as Jesus forgives us,no one is perfect and we will make mistakes!

  • Tlisaalexis

    Sounds like a very interesting book. From the insights given by the authors to the comments that were left here by the people. This is book that must be in every house that has a married couple.

  • Katie

    I’m ready for an impartial, Christian resource to encourage and challenge us.

  • Pinkkkkgurl

    It is so important to understand the roles God wants us to play in our marriage. The love and respect roles and understanding eachothers needs as man and woman. Also if you have kids, making that time, even if it’s just a little bit for the two of you. So important! :))<3

  • Meddington77

    I most definitely could use some help in the marriage arena…hope I’m a winner!

  • Jkrause

    I look at it as continuing education.  :)

  • amy cutler

    marriage is something that constantly needs worked on.  i would love to win this marriage book.  my husband and i have been married nearly 16 years and would love to read this book together.

  • bridagem

    I’d like to read this book to get a fresh perspective on marriage, to listen to the life experience of Mark and Grace and to apply it as much as possible to the areas that need to be worked on in my own marriage. I think every couple needs the support of family and good friends and I welcome the sound advice that Mark and Grace have to offer.

  • Estelle427

    marriage has ups and downs but it’s worth the journey 

  • Lizzy

    After almost 9 years of marriage, my husband has started doing fly in fly out work.  So I have gone from seeing him every night to one week of every three.  It is painful to say the least.   We are both committed christians and having worked through the Peasant Princess episodes last year gained great benefit from Mark’s understanding of God’s Word.  I would love to receive a copy of this book to inspire my husband and I in our marriage, no matter how far apart we are distance wise.

  • Keisha

    To me marriage is a full time job, you have to continually work at it. If I win the marriage book it would teach me the skills I’m lacking so I can have improvement and a more productive marriage. GOD way is also best, yes our foundation should be built on God’s principles. At times we faulter because of uncertainty. I want a complete marriage solely on God’s word and guidelines. Without knowledge its a struggle, with the knowledge of this book. My marriage has the potential to be completely whole.

  • Mtowner05

    Marriage always needs renewing and new perspective. Growing with Christ a focused relationship required ongoing education. =)

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/2LCQ7YQ35DU3WZME4KVOJWHPSE Shawna

    I have been married for only four months and  have had so many trials……the marriage is growing stronger but can use all the advice available!

  • Janajomilligan

    This book would be a huge blessing to my husband & I. Thank you for the opportunity to win it. In times like these everything helps. Words cannot express how thankful I am of your encouragement daily. I follow you and a lot of your prayers & thoughts have helped & have improved my way of thinking. Thanks again. God Bless

  • Rtwalker85

    It is so true that marriage demands constant work for it to be a success. I would love for this book to be a guide in helping my marriage work

  • Dleanders

    Saw him on cnn so I am really curious about the book

  • Iabeacoms

    I have heard great things about this book. I think it would be a great book for our small group to read through together.

  • Angie Dohrn

    My husband & I need all the help we can get!  We’ve been together for 13 yrs & you would think, by now, we would’ve learned how to communicate better but it just seems to me that there are still alot of talks we should be able to have without attitude getting in the way…haha.  I had this wonderful ‘plan’ in my head that when he quit drinking, everything would just gradually fall into place..again, haha.  If I had the money to pay for us to go to one of those week long couples retreats to do nothing but work on our marriage I would do it!!!!!

  • Bertba

    I like that the author is honest. I just know that the more we learn the more patient, forgiving and loving we can be in marriage and family. 

  • Christina Darnell

    I love Mark and Grace – we have some of their teaching DVDs. They are funny, authentic and transparent. They cover issues so important in marriage.

  • Roeslym

    Thank you for the opporunity to work on our marriage

  • Gisela Martis Scoop

    This book will be a blessing for me and my husband.

  • Mindi

    No marriage is perfect, but with God it can be like the “threefold cord” it’s meant to be. Husband/Wife/ and God as the center.

  • Robbyn

    I have heard amazing things about this book so I am very excited to read it.  My husband and I are the best of friends but because we were created different by our Heavenly Father, we sometimes get lost in the communication gap between men and women.  I believe this book will help me remember how best to communicate with my husband while helping our marriage glorify God.

  • Brandi

    After Easter our church will start a series on Real Marriage with this book and our Bibles, my husband and I are excited to read the book and find good ways to help our marriage and be more like Christ!!

  • http://lifehapns.blogspot.in/ Michelle

    I feel that, with reading this book together, my husband and I will have more of a chance for in-depth conversation.  I’m a deep thinker and I don’t hold back in expression my “deep thoughts”.  However, I am always left wondering what my husband “really thinks” about a lot of issues –I want the in-depth part of him too.  I feel that this book could help us move a little closer.  :)

  • Jessica Whitelaw

    I believe this book will help me and my husband since we are going through a very rough time in our marriage at this time and we have already been through a lot, so i feel it will help us to handle different situations more effectively and be more successful in our marriage to the point where we will be all about each other again.

  • Melissa

    I look forward to reading your blog everyday! I helps me pray for my husband. The stress in life has been so overwhelming. I believe this book can help us come back to the sparks God instilled in us in the beginning!

  • Kttidwell97

    “We can kill our sin, or sin can kill our marriage” So true!!

  • Dulcymh

    My husband and I will be celebrating 10yrs of marriage in August…it hasn’t always been easy, but with God by our side, we’ve become stronger through our adversity… I think this book would be a great tool to help us through the next 10yrs and beyond!

  • Kymmeeee

    Thank you for having this blog.

  • Debihis

    sounds like a great resource, communication is a very important factor to success.

  • Miranda

    We are at the Start of our lives together as yet we are only engaged. We want to do it right Yes life has it’s ups and downs but I believe getting books like this will help us start on the right foot! God has led us both so amazingly. We met at Bible college and now 3.5 years later ( and only been together 9 months) we are planing our wedding. It’s long distance for us I’m from Australia and he’s from Oregon USA. God has blessed us so much He led us to each other! I thank God every day for such an amazing Godly man that loves me and adores me! I love your page it’s such an encouragement! i’ve shared it with others too! so THANK YOU!

  • Breedt Chanelle

    This is the book the world need to read, there are to many marriages that end up in divorce, because they do not go to God, God must be our Centerpiece of love. We need to build our marriage on God`s love. This book will change our hearts i believe!!!!

  • joyloves shea

    Because of this blog, I see its me that has to change first to make our marriage be more effective. I have to look at me and love my husband the way God loves me.. Thanks for helping me change my heart

  • Dpw1027

    I believe that God can use this book to impact and change my marriage by giving my husband and I the tools to acknowledge and combat issues that may arise in our marriage. And through this book we will find encouragement in knowing that couples that have been married for much longer than we have still experience the same problems and have found victory over sin through God’s grace and teachings like those found in this book.

  • Donna Thomas

    Blessings and thank you for your kindness in offering this book to a needy couple. I can hardly think of anyone more needy than my sister in Minnesota. Her husband left her 6 months ago and has been having an affair. After many months of prayer and petition he recently returned home. They are trying to work through the problems that led to the break up but they cannot afford counseling as he also had to leave his job which kept him out of he country and away from his wife. I truly believe they would greatly benefit from the material in this book. I deeply appreciate your consideration. They really need a miracle in their marriage! God richly bless you!

  • Cynder60

    My marriage suffered what many would consider a fatal blow almost 4 yrs ago. We are still married but by no means do I have the marriage God desires for us to have. This book would be a benefit & a blessing to our marriage

  • Specialtiesbysis

    Sis Zarko
    Would love love love this book!!! Love Unveiled Wife!!

  • Hickeyalisha

    I would love to have this book. I know my marriage would greatly benefit from the knowledge it has to offer :) I like reading anything that draws me closer to God and my husband!

  • nina

    Would love to win this book!! 

  • Kbcanaan

    I think books intended to help marriages succeed are a good thing and any book that gets us talking about the tough subjects and working together is a good thing.

  • Holli Henkel

    I think that any tool provided with a Christian base will help those who are willing to put forth the effort to make a marriage work.

  • Cutedovey

    It seems like it would have a lot of insight an advice that coul be helpful :)

  • Diane

    I would love to gain some more knowledge about marriage in my own and also to help others in counciling.

  • Life4sq

    Would love to win this book… we are missionaries in Belize and what a blessing to help as we counsel other marriages…

  • Mariza Ivey

    Sounds like a great book!  I’m sure it will be a blessing to many!

  • Noeline Claretalbot

    Even after 30 years of marriage – I will never stop learning how to be a better wife and how to be a better person in a partnership that is not always the best it could be. If I learn how to “DO IT BETTER” then I know that my expectations will decrease and I will give more of me and commit to my relationship 100%

  • Lizzy

    I hope this will help my marriage… despite my husband professing that he is a Godly man, my husband is really struggling to remain faithful in our marriage (has already committed emotional adultery and “light” sexual adultery).  I hope this will help show that we can work to get through this and God is so good.

  • Siddy

    I think it’s great to know about what is expected of from both parties in a marriage before walking into it without any knowledge and it crumbling to pieces due to the lack of it :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/melissa.fordyce Melissa Fordyce

    I appreciate this resource very much. 

  • http://www.thesweetchristianbride.com/ Lindsay Hall

    I heard a radio show with Mark and Grace about Real Marriage.  I definitely want to read it!  Sounds amazing!

  • AP

    As a newlywed, I’m hoping this book will give me a deeper insight into the core of marriage and how to enhance our communication, friendship and overall connection with one another.

  • Babycakes87

    I’ve heard great things about the conferences and think this book will help so many!

Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”