Writen by: Unveiled Wife On July 19, 2012

Dealing With A Sick Husband

sickhusband

I know there must be many wives who have or still do care for a sick husband.  Whether your husband is sick with just a virus/cold or a long-term illness, I hope this guest article by Linda encourages you greatly!  If you have any additional advice or encouragement for wives dealing with a sick husband, please share your insight in the comments below!

Linda writes:

Having a beautiful picture of a loving and healthy husband with kids is every woman’s dream.

Sometimes, this perfect family doesn’t always happen exactly the way we wish. This is simply due to the fact that life is always evolving and sometimes we get what we never bargained for. You may be prepared for this if you are already aware of his health concerns before marriage.  However, if it’s a sudden situation, where you never  prepared for this development in regard to his health, it could be one of the most challenging times for everyone.

At the beginning, both of you would question each other and of course God. This is when the popular cliché “Why me Lord?” comes in.

Do not be despaired because Psalm 103:3 says “…who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases”.  God is aware!

Also, Samuel Johnson once said,

“Hope is necessary in every condition. The miseries of poverty, sickness and captivity would, without comfort, be insupportable”

Keep hope alive!

So, what next when dealing with a sick husband?

Well, this is what I think you should do, as a wife, this is the time you become the pillar, his strength and the rock for your home. The children being aware of the situation depending on their age may be worried. You would not want to give them a more scary picture about their father’s health.

You should evaluate the situation and know how long this would be. This would help you to plan for the future- your time, schedule, finances, and other activities so that you are there with him, especially at those important times he really needs you – hospital visits or treatment sessions.

You need to be there for him, help him with those things ordinarily he loved to do by himself. Make him as comfortable as possible and reassure him that everything would be fine. Encourage and remind him to take his medication as at when due.

Your words should be reassuring, comforting and positive. Your words should also be more to God than to man. Your words should be positive rather than negative.

This is not an easy situation, lean on positive friends and close relations that would keep faith with you. Pray with your church and your family. The Lord will be your Strength and Pillar, your Comforter and Protector. He will never fail or let you down. Remember, He is still on the throne.

You may also ask “What about ME?”

Yes, I ‘m getting to that now. You need to retreat and shed those tears and emotions you have been holding back and suppressing. Yes, you need to. That is one of the ways to become relieved and manage the stress you are going through at this time.

Make time to do some of the things you have a passion for. This would help to remove your mind from the present situation. It would refresh and revitalize you, helping you to be more stable. It’s therapeutic, and you do need that to help you deal with the situation.

Talk to the Lord about everything you feel; He knows the deepest secret, longings and pains of our heart. Once you know He is close, He hears, then there is somebody for you.

Do let go, and let HIM take over.

- Linda Aliogo

 

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Unveiled Wife

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My name is Jennifer and I began this BLOG to share my journey as a wife, unveiled, uncovered and wide open, to purge my heart of the pain I have encountered AND to encourage other women in the world who are, have been, or will soon be wives... READ MY STORY HERE

Join The Discussion, Leave A Comment Below!

  • NTbless

    We must be in the same boat- & we definetly are serving the same God – he is sooo awesome

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=749585276 Jennyfer Austin

    And what if it’s mental illness? What if, in order to keep the family together, YOU have to step up and become the leader of the home, in all ways, and especially spiritually?

  • http://www.facebook.com/linda.aliogo Linda Aliogo

    Totally agree with you. Dealing with such a situation could be life changing. I like your in- depth explanation. The Lord would continue to be our strength.

  • http://unveiledwife.com/ Unveiled Wife

    Wow, thank you so much for your insight! I am sure many women will be blessed by your honesty and truth about a situation that can be at times difficult to process. Your input is greatly appreciated and needed!

  • Dana S.

    Everything you’ve said is certainly true, but it goes much, much deeper than becoming a pillar, being there for him, and leaning on positive friends. Those are great things to do if/when your husband has a broken bone or finds out he has to have surgery.

    It’s much different when your husband becomes disabled, has terminal cancer, or gets a diagnosis that means he’ll never be the same again.

    At that point. it’s not about getting through it, it’s about adjusting to a lifestyle change. And, believe me, everything changes. Your friends still go out and do things, but you are now a caretaker to the most important person God’s put in your life. Sure, you can get someone to come and stay in your place, but then you feel guilty for having fun while he’s at home. Even if he can stay by himself, you are constantly worrying if everything’s ok.

    After awhile, the sickness starts to control your life. Every decision you make has to be filtered through his symptoms and the capability of both of you to deal with them.

    You also have to adjust to both of you being together most of the time. Sometimes, it’s ALL of the time! When God put the two of you together and you get married, you think that spending all your days (and nights) in each other’s company would be…..heaven. I’m not saying that it’s not good, but it’s not good, quality time. He may spend a lot of his awake hours doing physical therapy. Maybe he’s going through treatments like chemo or dialysis. Some days it seems like all you accomplish is going from one doctor’s appointment to the next.

    Of course you know that God is still on His throne. You’re friends are praying for both of you. Your church is doing the same. In the midst of this, I pray and always thank God for my church and friends, and even for the trial of the sickness. I remind myself to be content in whatever state I’m in. I pray that God’s will be done and that this whole thing bring glory to Him alone.

    I haven’t mentioned the children. When a life-changing sickness occurs, of course the kids know that something isn’t right. I’ve come to the point that I tell my girls what’s going on because, by now, they understand more than most kids their age. The effect on them is often the most noticeable. Daddy can’t do a lot of things that the other kids’ dads can do. This becomes their “normal”, and my fear is that they think that this is what marriage should look like.

    And, of course, you have to worry about, well, you! Doing some of the things you like is a great idea. I say that if you can still do it–then do it! If your passions take you away from your home for more than a few hours, it may end up being more stressful to go than it is to stay home. You must also factor in that if your husband was the breadwinner and you’re a stay-at-home-mom, your finances may be stretched as far as they can go, and often there is nothing left over for those little extras that make you happy.

    Yes, take it all to God. Rely on Him to get you through. He is sufficient and will supply all of your needs. At the same time, don’t look at the situation through rose-colored glasses. Be objective and assess you situation and ask God to show you areas where you can better serve your husband and family. Ask Him to sustain you with strength, wisdom, graciousness that can only come through Him.

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