Writen by: Unveiled Wife On August 2, 2012

Dear God, Should I Divorce My Husband?

should-I-divorce

Divorce seems to be an accepted solution to many unhappy marriages across the globe.  Unfortunately, many of those who do divorce are disillusioned and suffer a horrible separation from their spouse.  I am so excited to share this story of one wife’s conversation with God about divorce and the answer that saved her marriage.  I think the majority of wives and husbands reach a point in their marriage where they ask, “Should I divorce?”  I know I have been there.  Hopefully, those of you who are still contemplating this question will receive the same answer and peace from God as guest writer Alba did.

Alba writes:

I have been married over 20 years.  I truly believed I was totally in God’s will by marrying my husband. We loved each other and we loved the Lord.  I thought we had a wonderful marriage because for about 15-16 years things went smoothly.  We had disagreements and arguments, but it was nothing we didn’t work out.  We have two wonderful sons who have been raised to love the Lord, go to church, and serve God.  I thought things would remain status quo and I was not expecting what we were about to face.

Our marriage got tested (as I have learned, all marriages do at some point) and I got scared.

I started wondering if I had missed God and if I had made a mistake by getting married.  I kept thinking we should separate or divorce.  It seemed that we no longer had anything in common and we constantly bickered and argued. What had happened?

I was miserable and continued to entertain the thought of divorce, even though I knew it was not God’s will according to Malachi 2:16,

“The man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “does violence to the one he should protect,”says the Lord Almighty.

So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful.

My husband truly was doing the best he could.  He was not physically abusive nor was he unfaithful.  I was stuck in a rut and could not see a way out.  I realize now that this was not putting my faith and trust in God.  I was looking for any easy way out, being selfish and not thinking of the consequences that would result from getting divorced.

I am thankful, oh so thankful, that we did not get a divorce. It took over a year, maybe 2 years for things to turn around. The first thing that had to change was me, my thoughts, and my attitude. I had to remember how much I truly loved my husband and the blessing he has been and is to me and our family.

I would like to share a conversation I had with God during this time as I wondered, should I divorce my husband?

I had asked Him if I had made a mistake by getting married.

He asked me, “Do you believe that it was My will for you to get married?”

I replied, “Absolutely, I believed that with all my heart.”

Then He asked me if He ever changes.

Of course, my reply was, “No, You never change. You are the same yesterday, today and forever” (Hebrews 13:8).

His reply was, “Then it is still My will for you to be married.”

That’s all I needed to know. 

Since then I have not entertained the thought of divorce.

I have seen God do wonderful things for me when I finally stopped fighting His will and started working for my marriage.  It is not about my husband doing everything to please me.  It is about my giving 100% to our marriage at all times.  It’s about unconditional love (I am still working on this).  It’s about being sensitive to God’s still, small voice and being obedient to the changes He wants to make in me.  Ultimately, it’s about trusting God at all times, in all things knowing He has the best in store for me, my marriage, and my family.

Alba-husband

I am thankful for Unveiled Wife because it helps me stay on track and focus on what is really important, my relationship with my husband as well as my relationship with my God.

Thank you,
Alba

If you are interested in submitting an article to guest blog for Unveiled Wife please check out the details HERE!

Unveiled Wife

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My name is Jennifer and I began this BLOG to share my journey as a wife, unveiled, uncovered and wide open, to purge my heart of the pain I have encountered AND to encourage other women in the world who are, have been, or will soon be wives... READ MY STORY HERE

Join The Discussion, Leave A Comment Below!

  • Ev.a Thompson

    Renee, I am a Christian and I am in that exact situation. My husband and I have been separated before and I felt that God was telling me that it was his will to work things out, that marriage was more to make me holy than happy. I am trying and sometimes feel like I am failing miserably. I also have to carry on the conversation, many times one sided or I just give up and poke my nose into a book or I chat with my dog. Do I ask myself about divorce? Yes. Especially lately because things seem too much like they were before we separated. The only thing I know for certain is that I can’t fix my husband but God CAN change him. I can only rely on God to complete me and only with God’s help can I change my own behaviours. As much as there are days I want to run, I find myself sitting here with Stormie Omartian’s The Power of a Praying Wife on my lap believing that God is at work; that the work he has begun in my husband, in our marriage, will be completed. I love my husband. I try to forgive the past and often fail because I see the same things happen again. He isn’t having an affair but he is a recovering alcoholic. Lately it seems that he is substituting addictions. I don’t know that he is. I am only going by behaviours that seem off to me. In my heart I know God is bigger than those addictions, and God has given us all power over the enemy. I am going to pray daily for my husband, whether he talks with me or not. I will endure the pain and the hurt and I am going to trust God to change him. I guess until I hear God telling me that it’s okay to leave, (I haven’t yet found that in his word or in the still small voice deep inside) I will be here praying and trusting. God has told us what is required of us as wives. I am going to do my best, with his help, to be that for my husband. What my husband chooses, is not up to me. I know it’s lonely and it hurts; sometimes more than we care to admit. But God has promised to be there every step of the way. So I guess I am coping by leaning into God and finding my comfort there. Pray for your husband, even when you don’t feel you can. The Holy Spirit has the words when we don’t have any and God collects every tear we cry. Trust God! and I will be praying for you.

  • Golden

    I want to thank DR. STANLEY for what he has done for me in my life, After my lover left me without notice i was so frustrated and confused i never knew what to do until i told my friend, After she told me the great deeds of DR.STANLEY on how people talk good about him on radio stations and internet so she gave me the contact. I email drstanleyspelltemple@hotmail.com and told him how my lover left me for over 3years,He told me just to be happy that i will have him back to my arms that’s its only a matter of time,i was like is this real mean while i had fate in DR STANLEY that he would bring back my lover,amazingly to my surprise after 3days i got a call from my husband who has left me for over 3years begging me for forgiveness,Which i did,And now we are together and he love’s me more than anything on this earth. Please you can contact him for help on this email address; drstanleyspelltemple@hotmail.com or cell Number +2348038139297…….GOLDEN

  • sdf

    I like how none of the good christians bothered to respond to Renee…….nice.
    I went to a church divorce support group once and they asked me if I realized I was in a church, practically suggested there was a bar down the street..
    No one called me back even after asking if I could meet withe the pastor. NICE.

  • http://lovecountryliving.blogspot.com/ Altak9

    What a blessing to me to find this story!  Thank you!

  • Offrdnqn

    I wish my mom would have read this 3 year’s ago. My parents divorce has most definitely had a huge impact on not only my life (and I’m almost 30) but it has had a significant impact on my dad’s life and health.

    In my own relationship, I’ve had thoughts of leaving my fiance and father to my children. Alba’s confession and experience just reiterates the vow I took to never become my parents. I love my fiance with all my heart and even though we have our problems I know that God sent him to me for a reason.

    Thanks for the post. Sure helps put a few things into prespective.

  • renee

    but what am i to do with a husband who doesnt want to go to church and serve God? What do i do when i cant have a single conversation–a conversation that doesnt consist of my asking 50 questions just to have some sort of verbal interaction with him?

  • Alba

    I am So glad this has helped. It was a rough road, but God is faithful and will see you through as well. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

  • Carole

    Wow! impactful, insightful and FULL OF GOD!

  • Krystal

    Thank you for sharing this. I really needed to hear this, for my husband and I are really thinking about divorce. He actually has been staying with his dad because it seems better than way. But thank you for sharing for the encouragement and insight and just a simple solution. This might just save my marriage and the fact that it took awhile helps me understand that it won’t change over night. Thank you again.

  • http://unveiledwife.com/ Unveiled Wife

    Yes! I agree!

  • http://www.facebook.com/jencavanaugh23 Jennifer Cavanaugh

    Such a simple conversation with God, and yet so powerful. It’s so easy to over-analyze and second guess…

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