Writen by: Unveiled Wife On May 31, 2012

Fighting For My Marriage – Fighting For Love

This is a perfect message for any and every wife! Guest writer Angie delivers a powerful testimony and reminds us that marriage is amidst a battle for our souls and the souls of our husbands.  It is crucial that we fight against the enemy, through the power of faith and prayer.  If this article empowers you please leave Angie a comment below, letting her know how it touched you. 

Today, I had this thought:

“A true lover is a fighter. They must be. For there is a ceaseless and violent war being waged for our souls, and the souls of our spouses and marriages. What is more violent than the battle for the soul? We cannot sit idly by while Satan devours that which is most precious, while he rips apart family after family. We must stand up and fight, and keep fighting, and not give up, no matter how hard it gets. In this, the world will see what commitment truly is, what love looks like as it is refined and purified.”

I’ll talk more about that soon. First, some background:

I met my husband in September 2007, through a prison ministry. I was a volunteer; he was an inmate. We clicked and, through letters, became close friends. He was released in December 2009. Since then, life has been…difficult. There have been very good times…but also many tribulations. He’s been struggling in his relationship with God for several years now; slowly, he’s grown increasingly angry, frustrated, and stressed.

We married last December. I never thought I’d be “one of those women” who experienced pain during intercourse…but I was. It burned like nothing else; I couldn’t take it. My husband was very gracious about it…but I wasn’t. I felt horrible — like I’d disappointed him, like I was an awful wife…like I’d single-handedly ruined our honeymoon and gotten our marriage off on a devastatingly wrong foot.

Though we soon discovered the source and alleviated it…his sexual interest seemed to diminish. This shift has been demoralizing. He’s told me repeatedly that it has nothing to do with me…and I know he’s being honest. Satan has been a constant presence in this, dredging it up whenever I surrender it, casting blame on me, making me feel altogether ugly and terrible…and leveling my husband emotionally and spiritually. He’s grown angrier and more depressed. I wouldn’t say he’s suicidal…but there’s a very negative grip on his soul.

I realize that this may be throwing up red flags to some. Yet, I know that God wants me here. He’s given me this man…because He believes I can rise to the challenge of helping him through the darkness. While I struggle sometimes because I want easiness, I know that soon the light will shine and we’ll break through the storm.

The “red flags” are not so much that, as they are areas that need my prayers. The anger stems from deep wounds only Jesus can heal, from burdens only Jesus can relieve. His struggles ultimately come from a lack of trust in, and surrender to, God. God has shown and told me that I cannot save or fix him…but that HE’S got it. I know in my heart that God has huge things for him. I see so much in him, so many lives he could change by God’s power…if he could just make it through this. If he could just come through the other side trusting God more, seeking Him more, knowing Him as his Father.

I find encouragement in these thoughts, for I see my heart aligning with God’s. Though I may have erroneous ideas about how things should take place, or when…I know that, at the core, my desires for him are God’s desires for him. I want him to be free, fully alive, living out his purpose, in a true, transforming relationship with Jesus Christ. …Can I think for a moment that God doesn’t want those things for him too — and more than I do? When I pray, it’s no longer about him being the way I want (or think I want) him to be. My prayers consist now of asking God to bring him to a place where he’ll fully surrender, be filled with the Holy Spirit, and become the man HE wants him to be. …In this, I see God changing me.

As of now, I’m Jesus’ hands and feet to him. I am God’s stubborn love that sees all of the dark, bad stuff…and doesn’t stop loving. My husband is a believer, but I feel that 1 Peter 3:1-2 applies to us:

“Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.”

If God will do that in the life of a non-believer, how much more will He move in the life of a struggling believer?

…Which brings me back to that quote at the beginning. Years ago, I delved into spiritual warfare, trying to figure out how to fight in a largely non-physical war. God showed me then that loving is fighting…praying is fighting. And lately, that fighting is how we love. We fight for our husbands by loving them with God’s love, praying God’s will for them…and we love them by fighting for them — by standing up against Satan’s attacks, interceding in the power of Jesus.

If your husband is going through an intense battle, join me in getting on your knees (or face) for him, daily. Surrender your desires and husband to Jesus; pray His heart for your husband and trust that He’ll move. He loves your husband more than you do and He wants to see your husband live victoriously more than you do. Strap on your armor, pick up your sword and shield, and fight hard for your husband. Tell Satan that you will not let him devour the man you love. If you get knocked down, take Jesus’ outstretched hand and rise again. Keep fighting. Don’t give up — for the battle is not yours, but God’s.

Dross must be burned out of silver amid the hottest fire…until the silversmith sees his reflection in it. Likewise, death must be burned out of us until Jesus sees Himself in us. 

The process of refining is painful…but it yields beauty.

Angie and her husband

-Angie Grigaliunas

You can follow Angie by clicking the link below!

http://www.facebook.com/angiegrigaliunaszewriter

If you are interested in submitting an article to guest blog for Unveiled Wife please check out the details HERE!

Unveiled Wife

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My name is Jennifer and I began this BLOG to share my journey as a wife, unveiled, uncovered and wide open, to purge my heart of the pain I have encountered AND to encourage other women in the world who are, have been, or will soon be wives... READ MY STORY HERE

Join The Discussion, Leave A Comment Below!

  • Angie Grigaliunas

    Wow! Thank you for sharing your story! I am thankful, and convicted. I’ve fallen so far away from praying — not just for my husband, but period. I’ve been going through something weird, and I don’t even know what. I know it stems from not trusting God, not surrendering…and it is just…weird! I feel like Satan attacks us where our power lies — for me, my passion is a threat; so when I am beaten down, the biggest thing I get is numb and apathetic [the opposite of passionate for God]. But thank you; I got on my emails about twenty minutes ago, saw the very beginning of your comment, and decided I needed to get up and pray. It is time to stop being beaten down by Satan!

    All of the revelations that you detail in this post…I am there too! Those are things God is showing me as well — that it starts with me, that I will be the example, that I cannot save my husband or make him change. And if I do, it won’t last — the only real, lasting change must come from the Holy Spirit himself. HE is the one who convicts, who comforts, who heals. He is the Counselor, and my husband needs a counselor. I need a counselor!

    I am encouraged by your encouraged-ness! Please keep in touch and let me know how you and your husband are doing!

  • N. Johnson

    Thank you so much for this post. You have no idea how you have helped me. Most of the things you said I am already doing and believing but to hear that I am on the right path means so much. I will not give up on my believing husband its a warfare fight for his life but I am going to give it my all with Jesus help. I know my husband and I will have the victory and it will all be for GODs glory.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=215905192 Angie Grigaliunas

    Wow, thank you so much! Sorry it has taken me so long to get back to you…I just saw your comment last night. Thank you for sharing your story with me…what a testimony! I read this and just kept smiling! You should consider writing an article for Unveiled Wife, sharing what you are learning! Seriously! What you said was encouraging to me, and really echoed my own heart in all of this…really echoed what God has been showing me too. I am so glad that He has continued to use this article to encourage wives…that is just crazy to me, how people still keep finding it so long after the fact! =) God bless you…and I pray right now that God will meet your husband where he is and heal your marriage. Someone posted a song on facebook the other day…you should check it out. I think it would speak to you.It is called “Heal this Home” and it is by Luminate. Please feel free to stay in touch with me…my writer’s facebook page is at the bottom of the article. Send me a message anytime. I’d love to hear from you!

  • Crystalp83

    I just wanted to say thanks and encourage you in how much God is continuing to use your article. I ‘stumbled’ upon Unveiled Wife a couple of weeks ago, I know God led me to it, I don’t remember how. Have been reading and blessed by many articles but read yours today, Jan 1st and felt God really giving me the encouragement I need to keep going. My husband moved out 4months ago and is not sure what he wants from life, he is unsure what he believes. He became a Christian 7years ago and we have been married 4 and a half years. Things have been tough, I have been depressed following death of my brother and my husband has always been a very closed book. We drifted further and further and I found myself going frantic trying to ‘fix’ things all around me. Controlling, nagging and insecure. Much water under the bridge and here we are, he has spent time in contact with someone else and we are living apart with a small amount of contact. Over the last month he has become very tearful and confused about life, himself, God. Just in the last couple of weeks God has shown me so much about where I am, I have felt like a huge weight has lifted, the realisation that God has it ALL. It is not my job to fix everything and everyone. I, with God’s help need to change me, from the inside out. Not taking everything on and listening to the devil’s lies that I have ruined everything. I can honestly say I would not go back and choose to stay where we were because I realise now so much of what God needed to do. I am praying for reconciliation and that God will have the glory. The most important thing I have found is ensuring I am grounded in God, my security and also that I have a choice to let go and trust God. I also have a choice not to hold on to past hurts, and not to take offense. I can choose love over defending and justifying myself. I have tried so many times before but got nowhere, God has shown me how to truly let go and lean on Him. Hard to even express this new place. I love my husband more than I ever believed I could in this situation and I will do what I can to show him God’s love but wait on God and His power to rescue my husband and marriage. Praying for God’s blessing on you. It is often so painful but God is working, often in ways we don’t understand but His plans are to give us a hope and a future.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=215905192 Angie Grigaliunas

     It is so awesome that God used this article to encourage and confirm things to you. Amazing. God bless you in your fight for your husband and for yours and his freedom!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=215905192 Angie Grigaliunas

     Thank you! I am so glad that it encouraged you! =) I am still amazed that people are finding this article! Crazy. You are so welcome! =)

  • Betsystamant

    So so so timely. I love how God is confirming what He’s revealing to me by His Spirit. So powerful. God is amazing and without this battle, without this fight He’s called me to for my husband, I’d have never seen that evidence. 

  • TiffanyAngela85

    That was so beautiful and that helped me to want fight and pray for him more. Not just for our marriage, but for his life. SO I thank you tremendously for this article. I’ve been so blessed by it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=215905192 Angie Grigaliunas

    You are welcome! I continue to be amazed how God uses this article, how He leads women to it who need to read it. Incredible. I’m so sorry for the separation you are going through…I can only imagine how very rough that must be. And his looming deployment surely adds to it all. Don’t give up! God is in the ministry of reconciliation, and I don’t believe He wants to see any marriage break up — He wants to restore each one. Seek God’s heart and keep praying! God bless.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=215905192 Angie Grigaliunas

    Wow, that is so awesome! I am so glad that God used me in such a way. Please keep me updated; if you have a facebook, like my writer’s page and send me messages there. I pray that you guys will be healed and reconciled in Christ…and that you will have a beautiful ministry come from this. God bless you both.

  • mrstarmey

    Thank you for posting this Angie. This is inspiring , and give me peace and hope. I have been fighting this battle for over three months. My husband and I don’t even speak. He is military and since July I have been staying with my family. I feel like there is deadness is our marriage. I KNOW God will restore our marriage. Sometimes I get impatient though because I miss my husband. God has worked on my heart an changed me in ways I neve though were possible. I always thought I was a good person but since this hard time has hit in our marriage I have been transformed Nd God is still working on me. I am scared for my husband though. He drinks. He associates with the wrong people. He is deploying next month and I haven’t seen him since Aug and I don’t know if I will even see him before he leaves. I miss my husband so much. I want to hear him tell me he loves me again. But this article has spoken right to me and helps give me more motivation to not give up on THE MAN I LOVE!
    Thank you so much, Angie.

  • Ruth_Leysa

    Angie thank u for sharing your story! U don’t know how big of a blessing it has been for me to night! I have been separated from my husband for a year and have’t heard anything from him for more than a month now. Thanks to your words (Gods words thru you) I had the courage to pick up the phone and call him. It was great! He sounded so calm and happy to hear me. He said he had been praying for that call. I don’t know what’s going to happen but like u said  I now truly believe that those “red flags” that I have been judging and running away from are not so much that, as they are areas that need my prayers. Thanks again and please keep us in your prayers.

  • Angie Grigaliunas

    Oh, Jen, I am so sorry to hear that! I can only imagine the
    pain you are going through. I’m glad my article has given you a perspective and
    hope, and that you are fighting for your marriage. Keep fighting. You are not
    fighting for victory, but from it. God is for your marriage. I hope your
    husband is fighting too, and that he is willing to go to counseling and work on
    healing the trust. …Something God is showing me lately is that I must be enough
    without my husband. Like, my sense of worth must come from my relationship with
    God; I must trust what HE says about me. My husband is, at the moment, somewhat
    incapable of cherishing me the way I need cherished. But at the bottom of it
    all, God has shown me that unless I believe I am WORTH cherishing…it doesn’t
    matter how much my husband lavishes on me. It will never be enough. There will
    always come a time when he will fail — and if he is the deciding factor of my
    value, my heart will crumble. I must know who I am in Christ, how God sees me…and
    only then can I truly receive love from my flawed, human husband.

    I don’t know what exactly you are facing internally, but I
    can imagine the accusation that Satan is leveling at you. There may be things
    that you did or didn’t do that contributed, in some way, to the adultery…but
    mostly, your husband has to accept responsibility for his actions. As you seek
    God, I believe He will show you where you erred, and help you to heal those
    areas. But do not believe the lie that says it is all your fault — even if it
    comes from the mouth of your husband. This is another thing God is teaching me
    — that I am not responsible for my husband’s walk with God. I can encourage
    him in his spiritual life, and I can hurt him in it too…but at the end of the
    day, I cannot — and never could — save him. I am not the deciding factor; I
    can’t make him seek God, or run to God. I can encourage this, but he must
    decide to follow Jesus apart from my involvement. Only God can save him; only
    the Holy Spirit can convict and counsel him. God may use me in some ways to
    minister to my husband…but ultimately, things need to take place between him
    and God, and I can’t really be a part of that. He cannot be changing for me, or
    because of me; I want him to change and grow in things because GOD is moving in
    his heart. It is sort of freeing to me, to start to see this. I have the
    tendency to take everything upon myself, make it all my fault, make myself the
    one responsible. I think as women, we are tempted toward this. And Satan
    whispers into my head of how my husband is pulling away or not touching me
    because of something in me, something I’ve done wrong…well, that is a path that
    leads only to destruction and bondage. Yes, I may have done things to hurt my
    husband, or disrespect him…and if that is the case, I trust God to reveal my
    sins to me so I can repent and make restitution. God is NEVER condemning. He is
    not the author of confusion. Anything that is discouraging, condemning,
    confusing, etc. — that is not from God, but Satan.

    Anyway, sorry for the book! Basically, I just want to encourage you, in this
    time, to run to God. And keep running to Him. When Satan whispers of your
    failures or how you caused things or how things will never be good again, run
    to God and ask Him what He thinks of you. Ask Him to search your heart and show
    you where you aren’t living by His Spirit. Then repent and move on. Ask Him
    what His heart toward you is. Ask Him to reveal His heart toward your husband
    to you so that you may pray for him better. Your husband, like you, is a broken
    human. But that is a great thing to be — because God LOVES to take broken
    things and fix them, and restore them…and make beauty come from them. Who knows
    — maybe 10 years from now, you will look back on this time of pain and say it
    is the most amazing part of your testimony. Satan is not the final word on
    anything. Adultery is not the final word. It is not a death sentence if you and
    your husband — or even just you — are committed to God, and committed to
    fixing what is broken. You and your husband CAN heal from this, and experience
    a closer, more loving relationship than you ever had before. God is in the
    business of restoration.

    A verse for you — Psalm 34:18. Hold onto it while you work through the pain
    and issues and try to heal. God is for your marriage being redeemed. Don’t
    believe otherwise. Please feel free to contact me through my writer’s page; I’d
    love to stay in touch.

  • Jen

    Angie, Thank you for sharing your story. Right now I am in a battle fighting for my marriage. My husband had an affair but chose to stop it and come back to our marriage. Now it seems as satan is using that as a spring board to tear my husband apart from the inside out. It is hard, very hard. Your story and insights have given me a perspective and hope. Thank you again.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=215905192 Angie Grigaliunas

    Thank you for sharing your story! I’m glad you found this article, and that it has encouraged you. And thank you for your determination to stick by him, especially since others have given up on him. God never gives up on us; how can we give up on people? God sometimes has to break us…but He doesn’t breaks us unless there is something there worth rebuilding and healing. I hope and pray that your marriage will thrive, and that you and your husband will do all God has for you.

    If you want, please message me on my writer’s page and keep in touch! The link is up there at the end of the article! ^^

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=215905192 Angie Grigaliunas

    I’m sorry; I just now saw this! Thank you so much! I’m glad it was helpful to you!

  • Benedicte

    thank you for this very uplifting article! great work being done here to encourage women, wives to encourage their husbands,
    i got married recently. my husband is going thru hardship at the moment. a very talented young man with so much potential but the airline that he works for has financial difficulties. i work and provide for our family.
    this depresses him even more!!!!!
    he is a Catholic who has stopped going to church on Sundays. my husband drinks and is very absent-minded. i pray for him and our son such much that i cry. it hurts me so much seeing him going thru so many bad things. his family has given up on him. but i told that he is the one i want. i know for a fact that God has Plans of success and not poverty for him.
    after reading this article, i am so much more empowered to lift him up in prayer.

    he is the only husband i have and i plan to stick by him thru it all.

    thank you and God bless.

    from a very empowered young wife.

  • Granitemc1

    Thank you!

  • serena

    im sorry for your daughter (love)

  • serena

    that is good

  • Granitemc1

    I’m sorry that you are dealing with the struggle of your husband telling you that…that must be awful to face. I am glad that this article spoke to you. And as Unveiled Wife wrote below…I pray that God will reconcile your marriage. And that He will hold you through this. God bless!

  • http://unveiledwife.com/ Unveiled Wife

    Colleen,
    I am praying with you that God reconciles your marriage! I am praying that your husband does become the man God wants him to be and that your marriage will be better than it was before!!!

  • Colleen

    I stumbled upon this article this morning and it really spoke to me. My husband and I have been married 8 years. He has now decided that he doesn’t want to be marry. A complete turn around from just a few weeks ago us making long term plans of moving in three years. I have known this man since we were in grade school. I have seen glimpses of the Christian man God wants him to be. I am standing for my marriage and praying that God will soften his heart and bring him to a place of surrender to Him. Thanks for sharing your story.

  • KC

    Thank you for an uplifting story. God knew I needed to hear these words of encouragement. I am thankful for your willingness to share so others could be blessed!

  • Granitemc1

    Donna, I am soo sorry! I did not see this until right now! I was not
    ignoring you, I promise! I am thankful that God has used me and my story
    to touch your heart. That is awesome. I’m sorry you don’t have much
    family support…I can only imagine how rough that must be. But I am
    glad that you are sticking to what you know God has called you to. Don’t
    give up! Please do keep in touch…and I will pray right now that eyes
    will be opened and your husband will find favor with God and men! And
    that you will trust God as He works out His plan in all of this.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=215905192 Angie Grigaliunas

     You are welcome! I’m glad it encouraged you!

  • Ssharpetaylor

    Thank you for your story.  I ready needed to read this today.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=215905192 Angie Grigaliunas

    Thank you for sharing, Heidi! I am sorry to hear that you are having such struggles in your marriage…but I am so glad that my article has given you the answer you’ve been seeking! That is just…awesome. I am repeatedly stunned by how God has used this article to encourage other women! God bless you and your husband.

  • http://www.facebook.com/heidi.henderson.37 Heidi Henderson

    Ur story almost starts out like my story. My husband had been in prison and we have the same sexual problems now instead of the beginning of our marriage. He connected with christ in the beginning of our marriage and then slowly has faded away now we are talking separation. Reading ur story has given me the answer I’ve been asking god for every night in my prayers I can fight and god will help me fight to save my husband and save this marriage thank you for this story of ur life. I know I wondered upon it as god showing me its going to be ok.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=215905192 Angie Grigaliunas

    Thank you so much! =D That’s awesome that God has been speaking to you about your husband, and I am honored to have touched your life in a small way! =D God bless you too!

  • Evodia

    What an encouragement, I have recently felt God speak to me about my husband. I have neglected him and have not been showing him God as much as I was telling him about God. I believe that what you have posted above is so relevant to us a Godly woman today. The worlds perspective of a wife is so different to God’s perspective and after all God’s way is everlasting. Please keep on posting, encouraging, praying as you have really touch my life and I believe all the woman who has come across your page.

    God bless.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=215905192 Angie Grigaliunas

    I am sorry to hear about the struggles in your marriage! But I am really glad that my article was encouraging for you and what you needed to hear. I agree that so often, women tear their husbands down; a wife who praises and respects her husband is not the norm anymore. It is very sad. I encourage you to read the book The Power of a Praying Wife, by Stormie Omartian. Also, Wild at Heart, by John Eldredge. It provides a lot of good insight into men and their spiritual struggles. Just keep praying for God to make you the wife He wants you to be! Thank you for your prayers. Don’t give up on your husband either! Marriage is worth fighting for…our husbands are worth fighting for.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=215905192 Angie Grigaliunas

    I’m really sorry to hear about the struggles you are experiencing. I obviously do not know you or your situation…but I feel compelled to say a few things:

    One, marriage is a covenant. It is not something that you can just walk away from; you bound yourself to that man, and as far as God is concerned, you are one flesh. Please prayerfully consider not seeking out divorce. Divorce may seem like the easy out…but it will ultimately just cause more pain for you and any future generations.

    Two, it sounds like he has had a lot of pain in his life. He experienced things in his thirteen years behind bars that you cannot begin to fathom. He had to do things to survive that surely still remain with him [defense mechanisms…such as being argumentative or wanting to run away and make excuses]. I don’t know why he went to prison, and I do commend you for sticking with him as long as you have. But just as you are hurting, he is struggling right now too. I know it is hard for you. I am not trying to be uncaring toward what you are feeling. Your pain is validated and you are allowed to feel how you feel. But so is he. He is probably dealing with deep feelings of inadequacy and fear, and anger…and he needs love, not abandonment. You both need to be understanding of each other. And if he is unwilling to do that…then that leads me to the next thing…

    Three, don’t ask God to change him. Ask God to change YOU. Ask Him to make you the wife your husband needs, to refine you into the image of Christ. He may indeed have lots of things that he needs to change…but you cannot make him change, and if he changes for you anyway, it probably won’t last. It needs to be Holy Spirit-led, not human-led. Pray that God will bring him to a place where he will let God change him, heal him, and deliver him from all the pain and shame he holds inside.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=215905192 Angie Grigaliunas

    I’m so sorry to hear that! But I am glad that this encouraged you. Please don’t give up. Have you heard of The Love Dare? I encourage you to buy that book and do it. Even if he doesn’t rely on God to save your marriage…if you lean on God, God’s power is there. God can change even the hardest heart. Have you heard of Manasseh [the king] in the Old Testament? He was HORRIBLE. He did everything bad you can do — worshiped idols, followed pagan stuff, sacrificed his children to idols, etc. He ignored God for years, and led thousands of people astray. Yet, finally, God got his attention. And he repented, and was truly changed. It is an amazing story. 2 Chronicles 33. I pray that your husband will come to a place, that God will bring him to a place, where he will KNOW that the Lord is God.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=215905192 Angie Grigaliunas

    I am so sorry to hear about your daughter and son-in-law struggling so much…but I am also glad to hear that things are starting to brighten! I prayed when I read this very late last night, and I pray now that God will be glorified and magnified in that situation. That they will both see the truth, and come to truly know Him as Healer and Savior. I pray that the Holy Spirit will inundate their marriage and lives and redeem everything, and that they will have a beautiful testimony to the power of God. Thank you for posting this!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=215905192 Angie Grigaliunas

    Thank you, Sarah! I am glad to be a part of you realizing that it is God who changes hearts, not me. That is something I am definitely learning too! I cannot be my husband’s validation or savior…I can be validating, and saving…but ultimately, it must come from God. I have told him that all I want for him to be be in true relationship with Jesus; nothing else really matters, and all the stuff that does will fall into place as he seeks Christ. I love what you said — it is your responsibility to love your husband as Jesus does. =) The Holy Spirit will take care of everything else as you trust Him!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=215905192 Angie Grigaliunas

    I am so glad that this encouraged you and confirmed God’s will for you! I am so sorry to hear about the pain you have gone through over the past few years, and I am sorry to hear about your husband being hurt by the church! I pray right now that God will touch him and show him the love of true Christ-followers, and that He will soften your husband’s heart so that he will ask God to come in and heal those old, festering wounds. Satan uses anything he can to get Christians separated from each other…it is awful. But NOTHING is beyond God’s power to heal and restore. Don’t give up! Keep praying. One thing that I am starting to pray is for God to bring my husband to a place where he will let God ____ him. [Heal him, save him, deliver him, restore him, fill him, use him…etc.] And then I step back and let God work that out as He sees fit. I know my husband rather well, but I don’t know him like God does. God knows what needs to happen in his life to get him to that place where he will truly surrender to Him. I just want to be a part of what God is doing! God wants marriages to thrive!

  • Wbmcclain9

    If only we as wifes would truely and consistently go to battle for our husbands. I commend you for your faithfulness to your husband and your mission to battle on his behalf. I have come to realize that  although my husband is also a believer he still struggles with everything that goes along with being a believer. He is not interested in reading his bible, he tends to wander away from what he knows as biblical truths or behaviors, he lacks desire to minister to others, etc. On the other hand he has a heart of gold and while we are at church he is very active and helpful..you would never know once we leave it is as if he shuts it off..unintentionally if feels. I desire to transform our lives! Our marriage and the way we raise our children but it often feels like a losing battle without his support. I have recently been reading more about my role as a wife and this has proved difficult to me because he prefers that I “wear the pants”  and control our finances, home,kids, even spiritual lives. I  on the other hand desire his leadership and  want to be submissive to him.. It has even occured to me that perhaps , much like you, I need to battle for him! I am honeslty just scared for him..It is also hard in todays society to be this way I feel like. Most women are pretty regularly critisizing, mocking, or just plain old bashing their hubbys. It is as if it is a required topic of conversation amoungst women now( I have been just as guilty as the next) I even feel that to much posting on respect and submission to our husbands on facebook or other social outlests is viewed as weakness, over kill, or religiously obsessed. I was not rasied to view a wifes role in a biblical way but I strongly desire this for my daughter and I know by modeling it is liekly one of the best ways. I just never realized until this year the crazy intenses battle that is going on for each one of us in this world. The battle between socitey, self, and satan and all things godly, pure, and beautiful! I really enjooyed your post and feel inspired today! As a stay at home mom with many wordly friends and very few god fearing I needed this soul food this morning! Thanks you. I will pray for you and your husband. Do not give up on him.

  • Donna

    Abhor, again THANK YOU & GOD BLESS! Your reply brought tears, just knowing I have opened up and received a blessing of prayer & encouragement!! I don’t have much family support because they can’t see past the sin and still love the sinner. We pray about this and hope that one day they will see the great good God is doing in our lives! I’ll keep in touch! If praying still for me, please pray that the system will begin to look harder at the man man husband became in the past 28 years instead of the boy he was at 25 yrs old! We need a big breakthrough! Until such time we stand by “Letting Go and Letting God!!!

  • Cheeka

    Angie I married my husband in prison in 2005 but I was in a relationship with him in 1994 way before he went to prison.  He did 13 years in jail.  He came home in the summer of 2010 but he did not live with me until the winter of 2011 because parole wanted him in a halfway house. in July 2011 we separated for 3 weeks and then he returned back home.  Now April 2012 he has left again and its due to the constant arguing and bickering. He complains I am Miss Independent, can do all for myself ,don’t need no man and got her own money.  Yes I make more money than him and I am established, but so what- I married him in jail when he had nothing and all his family left him for dead, now he is free and wants to argue and sometimes physically fight with me all the time and give me his rear end to kiss. .  He had a horrible relationship with his mother ( he literally hated her) and she died  4 months ago. He does not talk with his sister as well. 
    (red flags) he has anger issues and a violent record. This April made 7 years and he walked out the day after our anniversary to go live in a room. All he does is text me, he does not speak, I agreed to talk and he makes up excuse after excuse to avoid seeing me and wants to text or phone talk.  I said no, its either face to face or forget it.  Im getting a lawyer and divorcing this man. I have tried and tried.  I have even brought him to my church and my pastors have sat down and spoken with him on several occasions but enough is enough. He is like a wild savage with the jail mindset and just wants to be argumentive or looking for excuses to run all the time. 

  • Dianeemartinez

    Thank you for posting this Angie! So true and so well said! Don’t ever give up battling the enemy on behalf of your husband and marriage!!!! Please pray for my daughter Rachelle and her husband Rigoberto and their marriage, and their little 2yr. old boy! The enemy has been attacking their marriage, family and home with a vengeance! They are on the verge of divorce! they are so full of anger,bitterness,resentment,unforgiveness, distance,coldness,depression, stress,dissention,rebellion,revenge,and a critical and sarcastic tongue and spirit! They have been sleeping in separate beds for awhile, and have no intimacy or closeness or joy together anymore! To make matters worse, Rigo has started drinking again which is causing even more problems! Rachelle once was praying and trying and having hope and faith for her marriage, but has given up! she says she no longer loves her husband or cares or wants to be with him anymore! She said she’s fed up, and doesn’t want to pray for him anymore or try to work things out, when before she wanted to tery for the sake of their little boy! The enemy has been attacking with many voices thru worldly friends,family and co-workers telling her, you should leave him, you need to be happy and do what you need to for you, you deserve better, you don’t need him, he doesn’t deserve you, divorce isn’t so bad , your son will survive!!! their son has been so hurt and confised and clingy lately, not letting either parent out of his sight!  Some of her friends have been inviting her to go to clubs to dance and drink!!!! They need a mighty miracle of God’s healing, forgiveness, peace, reconciliation renewed love and closeness and joy, and Rigo needs deliverance from alcohol and fear and insecurity! This week-end after they split up for what they say is final time, God did a mighty miracle for them! They had made plans for fun family week-end to try 1 last time to get along for son and connect and have fun together at beach! well, as always seems to happen, enemy attacked, stirred up dissention and misunderstanding, they foght, Rigo left for awhile! Came back to talk, my daughter said no more! Leave that she was done, that they are finished! Plans for week-end were ruined and cancelled! Seemed enemy won. But, by some miracle they talked, and decided to go to beach together  with son! weather was beautiful, they had a goodtime, and alot of fun! Praise God! Praying this is just the beginning of God’s miracles for them! that enemy will not attack and rob them of the miracles from God or give up on their marriage! Please bind the attacks of enemy thru friends and co-workers, and stirring up trouble, and pray God will soften Rachelle and Rigo’s hearts and draw them to Him, and each other and their son, and do a mighty miracle of healing and reconciliation of their marriage! That God would receive the Glory and praise! I will continue to lift you and your husband up in prayer and your marriage! Blessings!

  • Sarahhardy07

    This article was so encouragin, thank you.  My husband is not yet a believer and it hurts me so much.  This article made me realise that I just have to trust God with His salvation for it is Him that changes my husband’s heart and not me.  My responsibility is to love my husband as Jesus loves him, nothing more, nothing less.  God bless you and your husband Angie.  

  • Kelltmt74

    Wow..God is amazing..I have been married 15yrs,but we have been together 21yrs. We were high-school sweethearts. Im a Christian,he is not. He was raised in a Christian home but after his parents’ divorce he was very hurt by the way the church treated his mom. We have 3 children. The past few years been very difficult ..I actually left him the end of Feb and filed foe divorce. The verbal and mental stuff I couldn’t take..he played his computer game ALL the time..he thought he was home that it was ok..he was home physically but not emotionally..I had prayed and prayed..when I left it rocked his world. This man who swore he would never step foot in my church called my pastor and met with him. He begged me to just give e us a chance..so I put the divorce on hold..we went to counseling with my pastor. Things are better but he still not going to church with me and the kids but I know he will someday. Saten has been attacking my marriage and I’ve come to realize that I am in this battle for my husbands soul..and my husband don’t even know it yet! So thank you for sharing ..you have encouraged me so much and showed me I am doing what God wants..I love him..I didn’t want a divorce. So I am praying.g a Waring for him in Jesus name! God bless you..thanks again foe sharing

  • Shyimanbrooke

    I really needed to read this message. I too am struggling with my walk with God as well as having faith that God will move in a mightily way in my marriage. My husband is not a believer, in fact he was raised a Jehovah Witness but he doesn’t practice that. He refuses to lean on God to save our marriage. He’s ready to get a divorce and move. I’m not ready to give up, although it is hard, I want to fight for our marriage even though he wants out.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=215905192 Angie Grigaliunas

     Wow! Thank you for sharing this! Please keep me updated on your husband! I am truly honored and humbled to be able to play a part in your story…it is amazing to me how God has orchestrated all of this, with me writing this, and people somewhere across the world reading it and needing it right then! Usually I am the one who needs to hear/read things…not the one God uses to confirm things to others! =) I am thankful to be used by God to encourage you!

  • Tracy

    Wow! Thanks for sharing – although our stories are different, the message is what has stood out for me with great big flashing neon signs!  4 days ago I had the worst news of my life – my husband has melanoma in his lungs – too much to operate on, so chemo is the only earthly way (our God is bigger than that). Last night in prayer my husband turned to me and said that he knows that although this might be hard for me to hear – but that I need to let him go and by that he meant surrender him to God to let God look after him like Abraham did in the bible with his son.  As hard as that was for me I did it this morning.  Reading this is confirmation for me that God is in control and God IS looking after him.  I have felt lead strongly to pray daily for him, and once again that last paragraph confirms for me the NEED too. Thanks again for sharing, truly God lead!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=215905192 Angie Grigaliunas

    Thank you! Your testimony sounds amazing! One thing that really encouraged me even as I wrote this was the part where I say, “If you get knocked down, take Jesus’
    outstretched hand and rise again. Keep fighting. Don’t give up — for the
    battle is not yours, but God’s.” That last part is from 2 Chronicles 20:14-16, where a massive army was coming against God’s people. A prophet stood up and said to not fear, for God had claimed the battle as His. So often I get myself feeling like I am fighting alone for my husband — but I am not! God is on our side! He is for our marriage, for our freedom, for true life…and HE is FAR more powerful than Satan. His plan WILL endure. All the powers of darkness can’t stand against God when He stands to fight for His children. Keep fighting…and don’t let Satan make you feel bad if you fall. [That is what he does to me; makes me feel like I am a failure if I am not perfect!] If you fall, get back up. I’d love to share a short story I wrote about that sort of thing!

  • Twillis1975

    Thank you for this! The devil has been fighting hard to destroy my marriage for years now, through the same form or trick every time. My husband & I did divorce before over this, but my almighty & powerful God who saved me after our divorce saw fit to join us again in marriage. God had a purpose for that. And for the first time in a while now, I see that I cannot let Him down. I will fight for love & family. I know that I have God with me on this & through this. Forever grateful for His undeserving mercy & grace!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=215905192 Angie Grigaliunas

     And please keep in touch with me…let me know how you are doing!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=215905192 Angie Grigaliunas

    Thank you so much Donna, and you are welcome! I am thankful to have been able to encourage you. I can only imagine how hard it must be to be so far away from your husband, but I admire your courage in pressing on! Know that you are not alone. I am praying right now that God will give you peace, courage, strength, and hope to keep loving and trusting! God knows exactly where you are and where your husband is, and what you are going through. And He will faithfully carry you through!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=215905192 Angie Grigaliunas

     Thank you! =D

  • Donna

    THANK YOU ANGIE!!! I needed to hear this right now! My husband is in prison for the last 4 1/2 years. It was something that happened before we met & married. Something I knew nothing about but because I know God placed us in each others lives, I continue to press forward. He is the love of my life! We are both trusting God to deliver us out of this storm but sometimes I lose sight of God and his Word, not knowing why or what to do to fix this. Reality is I can’t fix it and he is doing all he can to get back home. However we know God has not left us nor forsaken us so,we will keeping pressing forward TOGETHER! Satan needs to get behing us! Your words of encouragement have helped me in a very low moment in this journey. We only get to see each other 2 times a year due to being 900+ mile apart but God keeps us strong! God Bless!

  • JL

    yes. yes and yes!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=215905192 Angie Grigaliunas

     Thank you! It hasn’t been easy…but I think, in some ways, it is also getting easier to surrender, as I trust God more. =)

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=215905192 Angie Grigaliunas

     You are welcome! Thank you for reading!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=215905192 Angie Grigaliunas

     Thank you so much!

  • Jbedat83

    It was amazing to read of your surrender of power to the Lord. We really have to understand that the Lord wants the best for us more than we do. When we pray, we are talking to not only our Heavenly Father but the most abundant power source in existance. I will be praying with you sister. Enjoy this wonderful day :)

  • http://twitter.com/feliz4life Erica Leonard

    I am learning this myself:) Thank you for sharing!

  • keltrinswife

    You are very admirable! I love what you said about loving and praying is fighting. Thank you for courage in sharing your story. Be blessed :)

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