Inspiration – Are You Building Walls Or Bridges With Your Husband?

Inspiration   Are You Building Walls Or Bridges With Your Husband?   encouragements for wives    walls Inspiration heart Communication Christian Wife Christian Husband Christian Community building bridges    Unveiled Wife

Your heart is an intricate part of who you are.  An organ that sets the pace for how you operate.  Although physically it pumps rhythmically and involuntarily for your body to function properly, emotionally you have a little more control over what goes in and what comes out.  Personally I can tell you I have felt the physical weight of carrying things around in my heart.  From a young age I built walls; like a city would to fortify and protect itself, I too have built walls of defense to contain or retain things in my life.  Walls that keep people at a distance.  Some of the walls in my heart are made of sticks and mud, easily washed away with the flood of tears, a kind word, or a simple glance.  Others are made of bricks, which take a little more effort to break down, like a friend discerning a struggle I am facing or a challenge to do something like make a public speech.  Then there are those walls that are buried 100 feet below the surface, armored guards surrounding the perimeters, barbed wire from top to bottom, reinforced steel 10 feet in width, alarms ready to resound, fire-proof, gun-proof, grenade-proof, nuke-proof…you get my point.  Those are the walls we seldom see reached in a lifetime.  BUT its not impossible with God, nothing is.

What causes people to build walls?

Fear? Insecurity? Anger? Bitterness? Resentment? Jealousy?

The list could continue…

In my marriage I thought I had let down all my fortified walls.  I thought we both were exposed by the time we reached the alter, but that wasn’t the case.  You see marriage tests you in more ways than you can imagine.  Even when you think you have reached a plateau, another mountain rises, a challenge for BOTH of you to climb…TOGETHER.  I realized that there were parts of my heart that I kept from my husband.  Embarrassment, guilt, shame, and insecurity locked those parts of my heart and I had forgotten about them, until situations in my marriage drew attention to them.  At first I was afraid to let my husband see a weak side to me.  I didn’t want to let my guard down.  LIES from the enemy!  When I was given the opportunity to let my husband KNOW me, those walls fell and I found healing and freedom!

I love this quote because I understand what the difference is between a wall and a bridge.  I’ve experienced the building of both.  Walls keep people out, while a bridge joins them together.  A bridge gives open access into another territory to explore.  Imagine a tangible bridge between your husband’s heart and yours.  Powerful!  Go and build a bridge with your husband, explore his heart and allow him to explore yours.  Communication and transparency are the tools, Jesus is the KEYstone!!!

*Keystone: A central stone at the summit of an arch, locking the whole together.  Something on which associated things depend for support.

Join The Discussion, Leave A Comment Below!

  • Sshelly55

    Beautiful..your story touched my heart, especially after reading about the walls we sometime put up for whatever reason..You are truly a proverb 31 woman..God bless you. 

  • sue locke

    when i got married a little old lady told me to treat my husband like a king and he would then treat me like a queen.
    it has not been easy but i love my husband as much today as i did on the day that we got married. we still hold hands when we walk in the street and when we sit in church. i am the one that will wait for him when we get out of the car and wait for him to take my hand and if he does not take my hand i will take his. i feel safe when my hand is in his. i have tried to be the kind of wife who will put his desires first and who will always think of ways to make him feel special and loved.
    and he in his turn has driven many kilometers to be with me when it has been a special day or anniversary in our marriage and he has been working away from home.
    i think what i am trying to say is that i heeded that little old ladies advice and tried to treat my husband like a king and he does treat me like a queen.
    we have been married for 37 years now and each day is sweeter than the day before.
    next to God, my husband is the king of my heart.
    would i do anything differently – No Way

  • Anonymous

     Start by praying and asking God to show you how to let your walls down.  Tell him that its hard for you, but you want to try.  You will have to be vulnerable and that is a tough spot to be in, but there is healing and a bond that occurs when you do this.  Sit down and talk with your husband.  Share with him a very intimate feeling regarding your relationship, a compliment, concern, or observation.  The more you guys talk the easier it will be to let those walls down!

  • Inkeye

    I also struggle with this…I am so quickly disappointed or hurt.  All of that coming from fears I have experienced in past key relationships.  Because of that root of fear—no matter how the resulting emotional expression blossoms—I do not give my husband the freedom to be who he is, and more importantly give him the chance to love me in his own way.   We have had our share of hurts in our 10 years of marriage, going both ways.  We are now seeing a godly counselor who is giving us the tools to recognize the walls and leap over them into sweet fellowship with each other.  One vital key I have learned is to silently pray a blessing over my husband when I feel the walls going up.  It is a reminder that he too is human, and God sees and cares for the most tender parts of my heart.  I have also learned that when I lock up my heart to my husband, I also numb myself to the whispers of the Spirit.  It is OK to be vulnerable, even if it takes time to trust again, because I know that my Lord will protect me and keep me sensitive to Him.   

  • Sharrahsmith

    what are some ways to help the walls come down, I have been married 7 years and still to this day I cant seem to fully let my guard down even after a total of 12 years. This is one thing I struggle with on a daily basis and know it is one of my biggest flaws,  

Unveiled Wife

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My name is Jennifer and I began this BLOG to share my journey as a wife, unveiled, uncovered and wide open, to purge my heart of the pain I have encountered AND to encourage other women in the world who are, have been, or will soon be wives... READ MY STORY HERE
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