Is There Hope For Reconciliation After Adultery?

I too am facing divorce. After 16 years of marriage my husband is having an emotional affair and sexual affair with a girl 23 years younger. He has come back home 2 or 3 times and said that he tries to do the right thing but can’t stop thinking about her. He doesn’t want to work on our marriage. He told me he had a nervous breakdown and doesn’t want to lay beside me at night and be thinking about her. However, when he’s with her he thinks about me. I know God put us together he used to be such a great husband and father, we have to kids, one is 15 and the other is 10. My oldest is really tired of the back and forth. I prayed Lord this can’t be right but I can’t seem to let him go. I want to forgive him but he doesn’t want to work on anything with me he says its no use. We were happy for most of our marriage, I can’t believe he’s ready to walk away from our hopes and dreams for a girl 23 years younger. Please pray for him and me. His voice has even changed he is not the man I married, but I know he’s still in there and I miss that guy!

Maybe I shouldn’t be the one writting here…but in my case it was I that cheated on my husband…Ya I know horrible…. I cant beleive I have done such a thing…not in a milion years would I thought I was capable of doing that. But I did… and I had plenty of excuses and reasons why I did ….none which are some what understandable but still just a excuse. I fell in love with the man I had the affiar with and he loved me too… and there were many time that we both tried to break it off but the magnatism was just too strong for us both… then one weekend he flirted with a girl right in front of me and things happened and I accused him of all kinds of things but he still till this day swears nothing happened….I said some pretty harsh things to him because it all appeared that he was guilty.. It ended up he was telling the truth…so I felt really bad but I kept nagging at him because the only way we were going to ever break up and thats if we were angry at each other… and I left it at that after apologizing I was wrong but told him it still was the end. so now I have the guilt of cheating on my husband (which now has turned into a wonderful man) and hurting a man a letting him think that I was a horrible person. I want to go on with my life and forgetting this man ….I want to be happy with my husband but this man just will not stay out of my head… I want him to go away in my head….there was never any future with him. There are some hurts that my husband made me feel and it has been hard forgeting them and a real struggle to get that love back for him that I use to have…and I did love him so so much. I just dont know how to get it back…I’m trying everything I can think of… reading books.(REAL LOVE Books) paraliminals to help change me for the better and of course asking forgiveness from God and pray for his help. It slowly is getting better and I pray that will continue.
I just want to warn anyone who thinks going outside your marriage for attention is the wors thing you can do. I know its hard but talk with your spouse with the things that your needing from them … and keep trying… it is so much easier that going thru the pain of cheating… falling in love with someone else then having to end it and feel that hurt as well… hurting that person… and then the damaged you have done to you own spouse.
I dont want sympathy but you do not understand the pain of it all. I know some will say well I deserved it and they might be partially right but in the back of my mind God brought this man into my life to change me and it did.

I am so sad. I dont know if God wants me to divorce. My husband hates me because I only want righteousness in our home. He is unbeliever and we are both young. He completely abandoned me and our two babies a month ago. Won’t have nothing to do with us. No contact or support financially or visiting with kids. I want everything to go back to normal and him to turn to God. He is so rebellious and such in a bad place living in horrible sins, committing crimes and has no repentance or sorrow for his actions. I feel no hope but I want only goodness so bad. Even if he came to his senses he is is sleeping with prostitutes and and covering his body with tattoos and ruining both our reputations. I would look like a fool to be with such a horrible man, what if he gave me aids, and tattoos are permanent… He is not mentally stable or spiritually. His mind is serverly warped and I feel like he is severe lost soul. But I have hope in him and God, I can still remember that good in my husband behind this unknown new evil man he randomly and quickly changed into. I dont know what to do… Help!

This story is very encouraging. My husband and I had been married for alittle over three years and I found out he had been cheating on me on and off for the first three years of our marriage. One day my husband decided it needed to end and he told me everything. The last woman he had been cheating on me with was a girl from our bible study homegroup that he worked with. I was crushed. The following days were really super hard. I didn’t want my marriage to end and I loved my husband with all my heart. Why? I didn’t understand. The day after finding out I went to church and just cried out to God. He was my strength and comfort through the really dark times. I wasn’t allowed to tell anyone because my husband threatened to leave me and I couldn’t fathom him leaving. I kept everything to myself. That firday after church we were suppose to “talk” when he got home from work, but he never showed up. I was angry. I got in my car and drove around…I was determined to find him. I gave up because I knew it wasn’t a good idea so I returned home and sat on my couch. As I sat there I felt a tugging on my heart….God was asking “How much do you want to save your marriage? You can either sit here and sulk or you can go to him and fight. Let him know that you are not backing down and that you will fight for your marriage.” So I once again got into my car and pulled up alongside his truck in an empty parking lot. I sat there while he was on the phone talking to our best friends for the Marine Corps. He rolled down his window and asked me what I was doing. I told him that I was here to fight for my marriage and I wasn’t leaving. He sat there and told me that he didn’t know if he loved me anymore. That he didn’t know what he wanted. He wasn’t sure he wanted to fight for us. Hearing those words tore me apart but I knew that God could work miracles and he was on my side. We spent the rest of the weekend focused on us and what we both needed to change. I have never talked and cried so much in my life. Saturday evening the girl from our homegroup called my husband and ask him what his decision was and ask how I was handling things. He told her it was over. She understood. Well, being a christian woman I really felt the call and need to sit down and express my feelings to this girl. I told her I wanted to take her to coffee and I wanted her to know the affect she had on my marriage and on me and I wanted to forgive her to her face. Sunday afternoon came and we met and I just poured out my heart to her. I told her that I forgave her and that I just really wanted her to know how her actions affected me. This wasn’t her first affair she had had with a married man. I told her I wanted to love her like Jesus because that is what I am called to do as a Christian. Let me tell you it wasn’t easy by any means, but with God’s strength and love he made it possible. I got to show her what it truly means to be a Christian and what forgiveness really looks like. My husband and I are still married and it will be 5 years in February. I still struggle day to day and have a really hard time with my self-esteem and confidence as a woman and a wife, but I know that God is working through me and he is the only one who can heal my marriage completely. It was and has been really hard to journey through this dark time by myself, but I know that I am not alone because God is right there by my side and he has a plan. Since all of this happened I shortly after had a miscarriage and I have gained weight. It has been hard, but I have started searching for the woman God desires me to be. I hope that any wife out there that is going thru this kind of experience will run to God and let him wrap his arms around you. He is the almighty comforter and he has your best in mind. Like the anonymous wife I pray for my husband everytime he comes to mind. He needs my prayers. I know that God is at work and he has a plan for our marriage and our story. God bless you all!!!!!

My husband and I have been married for 13 years. a little over 2 years ago I found out that my husband had been having an affair & the woman was pregnant with his child. I was beyond devastated because we have no children together. I have 2 from previous relationships. We had gotten away from God in our lives and in our marriage. I too had an affair, so once the truth was completely revealed my husband and I decided that divorce was just NOT an option for us. We loved one another, and we had BOTH made mistakes.

His daughter was born November 2010 and what a BLESSING!! She has such a special place in my heart!! I believe that she was sent by God as a wake up call… Though it hasnt been easy, we are determined to make this marriage work. Everyday is better and better, our love is stronger than it has ever been. I believe with all my heart that YES there IS hope after infidelity and that marriage can truly be restored and made BETTER!!! There is now 3 people in our marriage, each other.. but MOST importantly God is the leader in our lives and in our home…. What JOY that is!!!

God bless you ladies that are in great trials now, I pray for you!! Remember DO NOT give up!!! God promises hope and God will NEVER fail you!!!

God’s purpose of letting you go through this situation has helped you post this testimony because of which many have been reached out about the love and high grace and plan of Heavenly father. I some times used to ask God as to why a particular person hurt me deliberately, cheated me and played with my feelings and emotions. But I have testimony and yes you are too to say that God heals our inner wounds.

Meghan, try not to be discouraged by my story and the others you read. Although I received strength from the blogs and articles on Unveiled Wife, there were times that I felt hopeless and helpless and questioned God’s reasoning for our struggles and the pending divorce. Most of all, I couldn’t understand why my husband walked the path he chose. Bits of knowledge have been revealed to me through our reconciliation, but I may never, fully understand God’s purpose in what I endured. You just have to know, in your heart of hearts, that our Heavenly Father will guide you and provide you comfort in whatever it is you encounter. I could sit here and tally up the sins my husband committed and how much each one hurt, but that task would not provide me any peace. I decided that ONE sin is just as bad as MANY sins. ONE woman was just as devastating as two or three. The crucifixion of Christ forgave ALL of our sins, not just one. In the eyes of our Lord a small, white lie is comparable to that of murder and adultery. No person is less of a sinner. Keep that in mind as you venture toward your healing and recovery. Forgiveness sets US free, too.

I will pray for you, Meghan, and that the Lord will guide you and your husband through this season, and that He will bless your marriage.

Romans 12:12 Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.

My husband and I are on the verge of separation and divorce as I type this. He admitted to cheating on me with multiple other woman for a whole year and a half. I am torn because I pray but I feel like I am not getting answers, I’m so hurt and confused, I just want peace. I have been reading so many of the stories and posts on this site and still I feel as if no one can really relate. How much my husband has done to hurt me, even purposefully, which he admitted, I just feel like no one else has it as bad as I do right now. I have decided to fast for a couple of days, maybe one week and focus all of my attention on God and just pray until my lips fall off. How can I forgive all that he has done?. I need comfort and prayer, I want answers and peace, most of all I need guidance and healing from God.

I would talk to him now, if you get the opportunity! Pray before, during and after!

oh my dear Lord! HELP! this is happening to me right now today! my husband who drinks too much is right now in alaska with another woman! divorce papers filed but I don’t want Divorce i just want my husband back! i am praying and believing GOD is going to intervene and stop what the enemy is trying to do to our marriage and our family. married over 22 years i am still holding on to the covenant of marriage and the vows we spoke. i never thought i could experience such hurt and agony in my heart. i am devastated ! some people say there is no hope but i am believing in the HOPE of our LORD and HIS power in and over this situation. if you read this please speak a prayer for us. GOD BLESS

What a touching message but I choose divorce

I needed to read this! I just found out that my husband has been having an emotional affair with a woman the last two months with having the desire of it going further. And I am pregnant with our daughter and due in 3 weeks. This is the darkest season in my life. Hope seems so far away and the pain is almost unbearable. This testimony has really helped me. Thank you!

My husband did the same thing but it was porn,and talking nasty to other women. It’s like I forgave him,but I’m always thing about it. He did it for about 4 years,and i caught him,sometimes I question myself if i still love him. We have 4 daughters,and our 1st son on the way December 5th. There’s days when i feel like im not gonna make it,and i just wanna leave. More like fed up,he ask for forgiveness,and promise never to do it again. But my hearts been crush,and torn apart. We been marry 6,and a half years. It’s like why? I’m so insecure now,and its bad,im always wondering when he at work who he with or talking to. I feel deep down in my heart he had sex with other women,but won’t confess it,because he ask God,and me to forgive him. I feel let I just cant take it anymore even after i told him I forgive him. I’m praying and praying.