Writen by: Unveiled Wife On May 16, 2012

Spiritual Support From My Husband

The sun had just about gone past the horizon.  The sky still reflected its light, although it was fading into night.  My husband and I finished dinner when he invited me to join him for a brisk walk.  I had been quiet since I picked him up for work.  My body must have been experiencing an overload of anxiety… I feared conversation thinking it would prompt anger or tears.   He knew that something was troubling me, and as much as he desired to know what it was, he also knew to approach me gently.

We started on our walk, hand in hand.  Immediately my heart softened a little.  Sincere human contact is truly priceless, especially in marriage.  Distant noises echoed of dogs barking and children playing.  Then came a familiar voice, “So what is it baby?”

A rush of anxiety swept over me again.  Where do I begin?  What is wrong with me? How do I communicate all this right now?

I first explain to my husband that the way I am feeling is most likely due to a hormone change in my body because of the growing baby inside me.  There was no other reason for the extreme emotions I was feeling.  He understood completely.  Then I went on for about 20 minutes listing all the things that I felt were stirring stress within me.  Here are just a few:

-We are currently in transition of moving… our living space is rather chaotic at the moment with our stuff sort of sprawled out everywhere. Just the thought of going through our things and packing makes me nauseous.

-I desire a new car before the baby is born, without going into debt.  I would like a family size car that gets good gas mileage.  For the past six years we have managed with only one car, a small Jetta.  Getting a second car means we are on a tight budget to save for it and other expenses such as an increase in car insurance.

-I feel like lately I have not been giving enough attention and time to Unveiled Wife… as if I am failing behind, and letting others down.  I do not always get the chance to post a prayer of the day, or check e-mails from hurting wives, or put extra quality into addressing needed marriage topics.  I often times feel like I am not good enough to lead this ministry.

The list continued, as my complaints became overbearing.

It just seems like there is not enough time in a day, or energy in me to do all the things I hope to do, or have all the things I wish to have.  And when I think of it all at once, it limits me all the more!  My head spins, my eyes cross, and I am left with a sour attitude.

As I continued on… out of breath… my husband just listened.

Then came the reality check!

My God-fearing husband began to remind me that God is in control.  He lovingly encouraged me to realize that God is guiding us through this life, that He knows every detail of our needs, and that He cares to provide for us.  He looked at me and said, “It seems like you just want a comfortable life, where everything is handed to you, and you never face hardships.”  In my head I was agreeing, “Yeah, that is what I want.”  Then he continued, “But if that was the case, you would never have a reason to lean on God!”

Was he right?

The hardships, the trials, the chaos, the desires, and the lack of myself to “Do-it-all” – does all that leave room for me to lean on God, to trust Him, to ask of Him, and to need Him?  I have to understand that my need for God is a good place to be, instead of seeing life as an endless list reflecting my shortcomings.  Rather than complaining, I needed to go to God and share with Him how I am feeling and what I am in need of.  He desires to hear from me, just like my husband desires to hear from me.  Relationships require actions from all involved.

My husband continued to help me see the light in our life, the hope for our future.  At one point he even said, “I am sure if God said anything to you right now He would say, ‘Chill-out, I got this.’”

I laughed immediately, receiving the truth in what he said.  I had to have faith that God’s got this and trust Him as He leads me.

I experienced a moment of weakness, where I let anxiety rule in my heart instead of the peace of God.  Having a Spiritually supportive husband helped me regain my strength, understand my circumstances, and bring peace back into my heart.  He showed me that I was not living by faith, and encouraged me to transform my thinking.  He also reaffirmed me, sharing with me how much he appreciates what I do and specifically pointed out how much I am capable of doing by listing things that I have already accomplished.  If it wasn’t for my husband’s Spiritual guidance I could still be moping around, strung out by stress, and depressed.

Here are a few verses that reminded me of the importance of having a Spiritually supportive spouse:

“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” – Proverbs 27:17

“Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:11

“And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle,encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all.  See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to everyone. Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:14-18

“Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful.  And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” – Hebrews 10:23-25

“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.” – Colossians 3:16

“For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.” – Matthew 18:20

“See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God.But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called ‘Today,’ so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.” – Hebrews 3:12-13

Having someone there to encourage, admonish, teach, and sharpen are all good things… things we need as husbands and wives.  And just as much as we need a Spiritually supportive spouse, we need to BE a Spiritually supportive spouse when times are weak for our loved ones.  Love and respect are found in the balance of having a Christ-centered marriage.  For those of you who are not seeking Christ daily or have a spouse who is not seeking Christ daily, I am praying that you or your spouse find freedom in submitting to God and that you get to experience this kind of support in your marriage!

Unveiled Wife

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My name is Jennifer and I began this BLOG to share my journey as a wife, unveiled, uncovered and wide open, to purge my heart of the pain I have encountered AND to encourage other women in the world who are, have been, or will soon be wives... READ MY STORY HERE

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  • Melissa Anthony

    Thanks for reposting this today. My husband is such a gift to me, and I am so thankful for his spiritual leading in our marriage!! We have had many many situations like the one you recalled above. Today I was reminded to thank him for it- something I don’t always remember to do in the moment.

  • http://unveiledwife.com/ Unveiled Wife

    Thank you for sharing!!

  • Love and Grace

    This was such a blessing I had to share with several people! God bless you…you have a wonderful man of God for a husband.

  • Mhornbuckle79

    Unveiled wife I really needed this article! I was crying as read it! We all forget sometimes who we should REALLY rely on! As my husband and I struggle daily with all the life stresses I find myself forgetting to FULLY rely on GOD! You see we have a blended family (5 children and of course us). We both are trying to attend school, we have only part time jobs and 1 vehicle to do it all in :( it is extremely hard and as I read this it hit home. Thanks to you and all the other praying wives we have out there that help ME remember who to REALLY rely on!

  • Eugenia

    Thank you Unveiled Wife, this is just what I needed. My husband and I are newlyweds and while I’ve been a Christian a long time, he’s a new Christian so he lends on me as he grows while we’re both leaning on God to guide our marriage. We moved to a new neighborhood and while I stay at home due to difficulties with a chronic disease, it’s become a little stressful and we’re having some issues of intimacy. But you just reminded me, that we must depend on God. We’ve been looking for a church home and have yet to find one & my illness can really diminish my energy to do anything but this post reminds me God knows us, knows who we are and what we go through. If we lean on Him we’ll make it through and the best part is we’ll be better partners and stronger in our relationship with God.

  • http://unveiledwife.com/ Unveiled WIfe

     Ericka, hard times will always press.  I am praying with you that God meets your family’s needs!  I am so moved knowing this article has encouraged you to refocus!  God Bless!

  • http://unveiledwife.com/ Unveiled WIfe

     Thank you so much for your encouragement! I am sure the enemy wants to take me out which is why he reminds me of my shortcomings! Your words fill my heart with joy and strength!  Thank you for being a huge part of this ministry! God Bless!

  • keltrinswife

    Oh my—you are not alone! This is such a great article. Thankfully you have a husband to help you and pray for you. I am also grateful for mine!
    On another note–you are doing a WONDERFUL job with this site. Please don’t doubt yourself. Even if you are unable to read each and every prayer request, I know you ARE praying for marriages—and that is a blessing! 
    Praying for God’s peace and blessings to fill you and you husband to work all things out.

  • Ericka Iverson

    im given tears reading this post. 

    the past 2 months my husband has been laid off. its an “expected” laid off, its trucking/road restriction issues. but its freaking hard. and its freaking stressful. and i am trying to do it. im trying to make the math work, im trying to get the bills paid. im looking forward to putting money in the savings, and paying off a bill for propane, and this list of financial “goals” we have for ourselves. when i dont see the light, i get stressed, angry (why cant we get ahead!!!) and scared. 
    in april God made sure every bill got paid. and groceries were on the table. and gas in the cars. somehow, He did it. i have to lean on Him now, again, and i have to remember that. i have to remember He did it. He got us thru april. He will get us thru may! 

    it all seems so much more urgent because late fees are starting to happen, my husband’s life insurance was due on the 7th (and didnt get paid), the property taxes were due yesterday (and didnt get paid, and cant be paid!) and my brother is graduating in 2 weeks…. last weekend was his final music concert… and its a 5 1/2 – 6 hour drive to get there, and we have to do it all again in 2 weeks… i CANT miss that. i will let late fees add up for my brothers graduation you know?!?! the food is starting to vanish and …… its just all these things. i wish the money was there. i wish i could see it on my calendar of when its all going to happen. when are we going to get ahead? when are we going to make our goals ?

    thank you for this post. i am going to go refocus. 

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