Have you ever bitten off more than you can chew? And I’m not talking about what happens when you try to eat the whole burger in one bite. I mean, have your commitments gotten in the way of your relationship with your husband? Or more importantly your relationship with God?
I am a “Yes” person through and through. If someone asks me for help, or if I see there is a need; the word “Yes” just comes flying out of my mouth. Immediately afterwards I beat myself up for agreeing to yet again, something I must add to my very long to-do list.
Most of the things I commit to are great, God-honoring things, but a person has limits and even if it is for the glory of God, sometimes we must say no. We must learn our boundaries and know clearly where God has called us so we can serve Him faithfully while protecting our marriage.
Here are 3 signs that your commitments could me more important than your husband:
1. Are you staying up way too late every night to get all your work done? Once my son goes to bed around 8pm, I typically feel like I can finally start my chores. Sometimes it is writing, editing pictures, working on children’s ministry curriculum, cleaning the house… the list could go on and on. But if that work is coming before spending time with God and my husband then there is a bigger problem. We must be intentional about protecting our time with the Lord and our husband. If your commitments are taking up all of your time, you need to start saying No!
2. Do you only really see your husband in the coming and going of life? Some days my husband is off to work before I even lift my head off the pillow. Then when he gets home from work, I may have to rush off for a photo session with a precious family. By the time I get home, It’s almost bed time and we have barely spoken. When’s the last time you really communicated with your man? Or sat as a family at the dinner table? If you can’t remember, then that is a sign that you need to start saying No!
3.When’s the last time you and your husband were intimate? And I don’t just mean in the bedroom. When’s the last time you put your phone down and simply snuggled on the couch to watch your favorite show? When’s the last time you held hands or went out on a date? So often we believe that our commitments are important and that since it is considered “ministry” then it can’t be bad. But when we don’t have the right balance then one area of your life is going to suffer and sadly it’s your marriage that typically takes the hit.
So what do we do now?
Just say No!
I know I learned the phrase back in middle school, Just say No to drugs! Well, if Satan is using your commitments to destroy your marriage it is just as bad as a drug. And we must prayerfully consider what we must eliminate from our schedule so we can protect our marriage.
But, saying No is hard…
Most times we don’t want to let others down. We don’t want to leave them high and dry and we believe that if we say No, we are in the wrong.
Sometimes the best thing we can do for our marriage is to say No!
We must be willing to keep our priorities in order, and make time for our spouse.