So I know a lot of us have heard about the cord of 3 strands in Ecclesiastes 4:12. Strength in numbers if you will. It is common to hear how marriage should bring unity between a husband and wife and having God the head of your marriage to make it one. I don’t disagree with any of this.
What has been on my mind recently is the phrase 3’s a crowd. I don’t mean that God gets in the way (sometimes the road blocks He puts in our paths does seem that way, but that is another topic). I am not saying that your husband is a nuisance. Nope. The overcrowding I am talking about are real issues that have negative effects on a marriage.
- Lack of appreciation
There should not be room for any of these in our marriages. I am not aware of any of these things building a better foundation for marriages. I am sure that there are more I could add to this list, but hopefully you get what I am saying. I have heard people justify these actions, but I find it hard to believe. I actually had someone tell me that sometimes you have to see what else is out there to appreciate what you have at home. Umm….I wonder if that line would work if it was said to them.
If you are anything like me, you have more than one of these things that come between you and your husband. I will be the first to raise my hand and say that I have even enjoyed their company at times. I mean, I have opened the doors of my mind and heart and allowed these things to come in, put their feet up, and feed them. I have allowed some of these things to grow and threaten to overtake me. These unwelcome guests (and sometimes welcomed even though they should not be) have invaded my marriage more than once.
You know what I have to do? Kick them out. I need to do what Hebrews 12:1 says and “strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up“. How? I have to ask forgiveness from God. I have to ask my husband to forgive me. Sometimes, you need more than prayer. You may need counseling, as a couple or as individuals. You may need an accountability partner. I do not believe that there is one answer for every issue for every person.
I have also had to extend the same grace to my husband. Neither one of us are perfect and have allowed unwelcome guests to crowd our marriage. I have had to see the good and let those truths fill my mind and heart so there is no room for the negative. Ask God to reveal truths to you~~ His truths and also any sin you have that is pushing Him out and crowding your marriage. He will come through for You and help you be the party of three that He designed marriage to be.