One of my God given roles as a wife is being a helpmate to my husband.
It says this truth right in the Bible.
The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make him a suitable helper.
Now the Lord God formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field.
But for Adam no suitable helper could be found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man and brought her to the man.
– Genesis 2:18-22
I have read this passage so many times and for some reason it has never jumped out at me like this before. God made me to be my husband’s helper. Wow! What a calling. God knows that man needs help, support. Life is so busy and hard if you have to figure things out on your own, but as a helper to your spouse, you actually make his life easier.
As I was reflecting on this passage, a hard question popped into my head. What would this look like in my reality? What would it look like to be a suitable helper? This is a hard question to maneuver though because sometimes I feel like I complicate my husband’s life more than help him. I can be so selfish. I confessed my sin of selfishness to God and then prayed for God to reveal a plan on how I could be a helper to my husband.
I can be a helpmate to my husband by assisting him with tasks.
When my husband asks for help, which is not very often, I should be able to stop what I am doing and simply help him. Along with this goes the idea of having the house organized so that he can find the items he needs when he needs them instead of wasting time looking for the item.
I can be a helpmate to my husband by encouraging him when the going gets tough.
My husband recently changed jobs and I was only focused on helping the kids adjust and adjusting myself. I would complain to my husband as soon as he walked in the door about how terrible our day went. Then I had an epiphany. I wonder if my husband is having a hard time adjusting too? He switched to earn more income to provide for us and allow me to continue to stay home with the children. I should be encouraging him instead of blaming him and putting him down. He noticed when I stopped complaining and let me know that it helped his attitude change when my attitude changed. I get to help in tough times by encouraging my husband, and I look forward to the times when I get to share the joyful celebration of his victories!!
I can be a helpmate to my husband by giving him the time he needs to rest and relax.
This counts for hobbies. Men need their space too. I struggle with this one the most. When it’s Saturday morning and my husband wants to sleep in, I need to respect that. I usually wake him after he has slept in for 30 minutes…that is not sleeping in. I confess. I love to wake up early on the weekends and get as much family time as we can. I need to let him rest. He works 40+ hours a week, not only does he need time to rest, he needs time to relax and enjoy his hobbies.
My husband and I have come up with a little schedule that divides out our time. I have 2 nights a week that Scott takes care of the kids after we eat dinner together. Scott has 2 nights a week that he does the same, after we eat dinner he is able to do whatever it is that he wants. We also have 3 family nights set aside for inviting friends and family over or just enjoying the day together. Sometimes we have to be flexible, but for the most part the schedule allows both Scott and I to be refreshed.
I can be a helpmate to my husband by fulfilling his sexual needs.
It can be difficult when your husband comes calling for love and attention, especially when you have young children who can be exhausting or a job with difficult demands. Our husbands deserve to have most of our attention. They should not have to compete for it. Occasionally it’s understandable if you are ‘not in the mood’ but be sure to give your husband a raincheck for the next day and follow through. Our men need a sexual outlet and it’s our responsibility and -privilege- to own up to our calling as helpers.
Last but definitely not least, I can be a helpmate to my husband by praying for him each and every day!
Pray for his health. Pray for his attitude. Pray for his work. Pray for his heart. Pray that he will be a godly leader in your home. Pray for his fatherhood. Prayer is so important. We need to surround our husbands with prayer. Your husband is a blessing, a wonderful gift, that your Heavenly Father has given you. You are his helper. Pray for him daily!