Divorce seems to be an accepted solution to many unhappy marriages across the globe. Unfortunately, many of those who do divorce are disillusioned and suffer a horrible separation from their spouse. I am so excited to share this story of one wife’s conversation with God about divorce and the answer that saved her marriage. I think the majority of wives and husbands reach a point in their marriage where they ask, “Should I divorce?” I know I have been there. Hopefully, those of you who are still contemplating this question will receive the same answer and peace from God as guest writer Alba did.
I have been married over 20 years. I truly believed I was totally in God’s will by marrying my husband. We loved each other and we loved the Lord. I thought we had a wonderful marriage because for about 15-16 years things went smoothly. We had disagreements and arguments, but it was nothing we didn’t work out. We have two wonderful sons who have been raised to love the Lord, go to church, and serve God. I thought things would remain status quo and I was not expecting what we were about to face.
Our marriage got tested (as I have learned, all marriages do at some point) and I got scared.
I started wondering if I had missed God and if I had made a mistake by getting married. I kept thinking we should separate or divorce. It seemed that we no longer had anything in common and we constantly bickered and argued. What had happened?
I was miserable and continued to entertain the thought of divorce, even though I knew it was not God’s will according to Malachi 2:16,
“The man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “does violence to the one he should protect,”says the Lord Almighty.
So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful.
My husband truly was doing the best he could. He was not physically abusive nor was he unfaithful. I was stuck in a rut and could not see a way out. I realize now that this was not putting my faith and trust in God. I was looking for any easy way out, being selfish and not thinking of the consequences that would result from getting divorced.
I am thankful, oh so thankful, that we did not get a divorce. It took over a year, maybe 2 years for things to turn around. The first thing that had to change was me, my thoughts, and my attitude. I had to remember how much I truly loved my husband and the blessing he has been and is to me and our family.
I would like to share a conversation I had with God during this time as I wondered, should I divorce my husband?
I had asked Him if I had made a mistake by getting married.
He asked me, “Do you believe that it was My will for you to get married?”
I replied, “Absolutely, I believed that with all my heart.”
Then He asked me if He ever changes.
Of course, my reply was, “No, You never change. You are the same yesterday, today and forever” (Hebrews 13:8).
His reply was, “Then it is still My will for you to be married.”
That’s all I needed to know.
Since then I have not entertained the thought of divorce.
I have seen God do wonderful things for me when I finally stopped fighting His will and started working for my marriage. It is not about my husband doing everything to please me. It is about my giving 100% to our marriage at all times. It’s about unconditional love (I am still working on this). It’s about being sensitive to God’s still, small voice and being obedient to the changes He wants to make in me. Ultimately, it’s about trusting God at all times, in all things knowing He has the best in store for me, my marriage, and my family.
I am thankful for Unveiled Wife because it helps me stay on track and focus on what is really important, my relationship with my husband as well as my relationship with my God.