Dear Woman with Pain and Regret

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Dear Woman with pain and regret,

I see you.

And I know you.

I watch you walk in, and smear a smile on your face, convincing your troubled heart everything’s fine for now. How you’ve put on just the right outfit, wrapped that trendy scarf around your neck, and sauntered in, praying no one will detect what’s happening way inside.

You bury your hurt deep, and have gripped your pain tight, and often believe you don’t deserve to let it go. You believe it’s your burden now, after all you’ve been through.

I watch you chit-chat with the women, while you let comparisons begin to fly in your mind. They seem fitter, and cuter, and certain to be living a life far happier than yours. And you shrink at the thought, that if they knew where you’ve really been, and what you’ve really done, they wouldn’t be talking to you for long.

They ask you how you are. And you say that you’re fine. But I know how you’re SO “not-fine” when you say you are. I know how you smile, and say “I’m good” or “I’m fine” because it would take too long to explain it all. And deep inside you’re convinced they wouldn’t really want to know the truth, or be able to handle it anyway.

I see you.

And I know you.

Because I was you.

And the real truth is, you’re crying on the inside. Way down deep in those crevices of your heart, you’re still bleeding from the pain of your tragedy, and you’re smothered by the shame and guilt of your choices.

It was a tragedy you never saw coming–choices you never imagined you’d make. But now the pain and regret are a heavy blanket, smothering the life in you, and keeping you from growing and thriving at all.

Oh friend.

I know.

After my affair, and then my divorce, I thought it was the end for me too. I was convinced I had stepped beyond the reaches of God’s love, and wondered if there was any hope left for me.

I remember when I thought I couldn’t go on. How I cried at night all alone, with a brokenness and pain so great, I thought I just might break in two.

But sometimes, being broken? It’s the only preparation suitable for the amazing things God has in store. [Tweet that]

God is with you.

He’s always been with you, even in your most terrible tragedies and epic failure moments.

I want you to know today, that from the beginning of time, God’s had big things planned for you. And even though you may not feel Him, God is with you. He has been right beside you the whole time, lovingly guiding you through your mess.

God is your healer. Ready and willing to heal your broken heart, as you surrender to Him.

God is eager to redeem your pain, and restore you to a wholeness you’ve not known before. [Tweet that]

Oh I know there will be scars.

Oh how I know. But it’s part of the process.

But don’t feel alone. Jesus bears scars too. And they’re all for you.

And the very scars you will bear, will be the evidence of His healing power in you. Every time you remember the pain you have endured, and you see the scars that remain, you will be reminded it was for a purpose, just as the scars Jesus bore, had a purpose too.

Because of God’s great love for you, His plan is to heal you, that you will be the proof of His love to the world. [Tweet that]

A world that so desperately needs healing. A world that needs to see your mended scars to know, that what He has done for you, He can do for them.

In your pain and regret today, may you know, God has not forgotten you. He is in complete control. He’s been holding you in every moment, and is ready to calm and heal the hurt and pain in your heart.

May you know today, He has done it for me, and He will do it for you.

And there is nothing that can separate you from His love. 

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good,  for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified. What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:28-29 (ESV) 

Love,

Your friend, Jacque   ~jacquewatkins.com

 

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