I have been sick for a long time. It is not a single disease. It is not an illness. It is not a disorder. It is a combination of several things not even related really. It is rotten luck. I don’t even believe in luck, I prefer the word blessing, but opposite of blessing is curse and I am not about to lump my issues as a curse.
My string of bad health started about 3 years ago. I was finally pregnant of after suffering two miscarriages. I had been told long before that I would never be able to have my own children because I was diagnosed with something called poly-cystic ovarian syndrome. I wanted children. I prayed for children. Five years later, my prayers were answered. The Lord was faithful and blessed us with a child! I was so excited as we awaited the arrival of our baby. I read all the birth books and was prepared to have a natural birth. After pushing for 3 hours I was given the choice to use the vacuum or have a c-section, my baby was stuck and not budging.
I realized, I had not read the cesarean chapters in any of the books. I was disappointed in myself. The c-section went just fine and our handsome baby boy was born at 6:24 am on May 2. I was not only handed a crying baby, but was also surprised that I had the “blues” before we even left the hospital. My depression was so bad that on several occasions, my husband would wake me during the night when the baby was crying so that I could feed him, I was breast feeding. I didn’t care. My milk never came in and I felt like a terrible mom. My husband carried the screaming hungry baby, and held him to my breast so that he could eat. I didn’t care to feed the baby or hold the baby. I never got help with the depression the first time. It was just there, and I carried on.
My son was now 4 months old. I had stopped breast feeding and was growing more relaxed around him every day. His personality was starting to surface, so being a mom was fun. I started feeling more like myself and started cleaning and organizing the house. One evening, Scott was helping me rearrange furniture and I clipped my left knee cap on a little drawer pull. It was a little sore but still able to move on it just fine. Several weeks later, while walking from the kitchen to the living room, my knee let out an enormous POP sound and I was on the floor calling my husband to my aid. He took me to the ER. It wasn’t broken, but they wanted me to see the orthopedic. The next day I was convincing the unbelieving Dr. that I couldn’t walk on the knee without severe pain.
“Tell me again, what happened to it.” He continued to tell us that nothing was wrong and that I should just ice it. After convincing him that I was indeed in pain, he scheduled us an MRI the following morning. During the follow up, I had never seen a doctor look more sheepish. You need surgery he informed us. I had torn the meniscus. My boss was amazing during the ordeal and hired a sub for my time away. I was a preschool teacher.
October I turned 30 and was bummed out because my knee was still healing from the recent meniscus repair. Thirty hit me hard. I adjusted to the bigger number and cruised through life until my sons 1st birthday. We declared that we were again pregnant. We were excited to be pregnant again so quickly, we didn’t know if it would have taken another 5 years or not. My pregnancy was going along smoothly until one day, while working in the classroom, I felt something a little strange. It was a light contraction. I didn’t think anything of it. Before I knew it I was having more contractions that were uncomfortable. I had another teacher step in the room for me and I went to the restroom. I was bleeding. I called my husband right away. I called my boss next. I called the doctor third. She of course wanted me to come in right away. I was 28 weeks along. She checked and I was dilating and contracting every 3-5 minutes. She sent me over to the hospital. I remained in the hospital for nearly a week. I was scared to death. I was sent home on bed-rest. Again, my boss was gracious to me. I remained on bed-rest for about 53 days before my little sunshine arrived at 35 weeks on a beautiful November day. She was perfectly healthy and beautiful! I was not going to let the baby blues get me this time. I read the chapters on C-sections and recovery because I knew that was going to happen. I went home happy and determined to breastfeed.
My milk was coming in more than ever and I was excited to be a mommy and not be stuck in bed all day long. About one month after our daughter was born, I could barely walk. I visited the chiropractor several times a week with no relief. I was in sever pain. After an MRI of my lower back I was sent to meet with a neurosurgeon. I had a pinched nerve in my back which was causing my leg to be tingly and my foot to be numb. I could barely stand. Back surgery was scheduled. Once again, my poor hubby had to be a single parent with two very young children. The surgery went great and I stayed in the hospital for about 2 days. Healing was a little rough as I was trying not to do too much with my newborn and my 17 month old. By March, I was healing wonderfully and feeling great! I was extra careful with the way I was moving my body. I worked hard to rebuild the muscles in my back and stomach. to support my back better. I talked with my boss and was ready to go back to work.
The summer of 2012 was arriving and I was looking forward to work and sun, only to find out that after a vacation to Michigan, that I would be losing my job in a week. Our school was being closed. I was at a loss. So many things had gone against me and now I lost my job? After dealing with another set back my health started acting up again…this time it was my gallbladder which was later removed the summer of 2012.
I took the illness and depression and surgery very hard. One punch after another after another after another. I want to share a secret with you now. I would have never made it through my health issues without these three things.
# 3: Friends and Family: I had much encouragement from my friends and family. My mother in law even arranged for everyone in the family to mail me a card encouraging me to push forward. It worked. I also had several family and friends who stepped up to the plate and hit home runs by helping out daily with my little 17 month old when I was on bed-rest. Friends brought over meals. Family visited and prayed for me. It all kept me going strong and smiling.
#2: My husband: God blessed me with an amazing man! All the times I was stuck in bed healing from surgery or laying in bed because I was sick, he was there for me. My husband put on his big boy undies and worked his tail off to provide for the family and still take care of me while I was healing or not feeling well. He did the dishes, laundry, cooking, took me to dr appointment, picked up my meds, was a daddy, supported me and encouraged me all with a smile on his face. I am truly blessed.
#1: God, my healer: I spent a lot of time in the word while I was sick. I prayed many times for God to heal me. He eventually did, in His own perfect time. I learned so much about the characteristics of God. I prayed His promises over myself. God never left me.
I am not out of the woods just yet. This summer I have been diagnosed with Motility Disorder. I know without a doubt that God has a plan for my life. I have days when I feel amazing and days when I don’t feel so hot. I have learned to take one day at a time. I also have learned the benefits of keeping a positive attitude about every situation in my life. I know that I am blessed. I know that I am loved. God is so good!