In October of 2012 I wrote an article for Unveiled Wife called “Finding the Truth about Yourself through Separation” In this article I spoke candidly on the pain of being separated from my husband and how I was working toward restoration even though my husband was not interested in the thought of restoring what we once had.
Read original article here https://unveiledwife.com/finding-the-truth-about-yourself-through-separation/
At that time, he would not speak to me unless it was a conversation about our girls, and even those conversations were few and far between. He also requested a job transfer which moved him out of state and as far away from me as he could possibly get.
I am writing to Unveiled Wife again today for a couple of reasons.
First to let you know that my husband and I were united in marriage on June 29th 2013, and second to glorify the God that made this possible.
I feel that after going through not only separation, but also the restoration process, I have a good idea of what steps it takes to be fully restored in marriage. By no means am I telling you this as a “go to” guide to get you through the process yourself. But I do hope it will encourage you in this battle and help you come out a survivor. God wants marriages restored, don’t ever let anyone tell you that it’s for the best, unless you’re in a dangerous or abusive relationship. God can work miracles in the heart of your spouse and in your life.
I truly believe that the most important thing in life is to follow God, that being said I know that often times it is a difficult task. We are selfish by nature and submitting to anything or anyone is often very hard. But trust me and submit yourself to God. Submit is from the Greek word Hupotasso This word is a wonderful definition of what it means to “submit” to God. It means to arrange oneself under the command of divine viewpoint rather than to live according to one’s old way of life based on a human viewpoint. It is a process of surrendering our own will to that of our Father’s.
Submission is hard for me as a woman, I often times feel like submitting means to be placed in a lesser position, but that is not the case at all. God made men for a specific purpose just as he designed woman for a specific and unique purpose. We must take our rightful place beside our husband’s and learn to walk with him, not in front of him. We must do this in order for our husbands to feel respected and in order for us to feel loved. For more on love and respect check out the materials of Dr. Emerson Eggeriches he is wise beyond his years. Trust me!
“Let go and let God” is a common saying, we hear it in church, our friends repeat it on occasion to encourage us to enjoy our lives. But what does it really mean?
My pastor told a story a while back that really put this whole idea of “let go and let God” into perspective for me. This is what he said:
“So my friend Dan is the happiest person I know, he walks around without a care in the world, so I asked him the other day, ‘Dan, how are you so carefree?’ How do you go through life with no worries? “
“Well” Dan said, ‘I actually hired a guy to worry for me and it’s working out really well.”
“‘Yeah it looks like it”, was my response, “how much are you paying this guy to worry for you?”
Dan replies “Oh I offered him the job for $100,000 a year”
”WHOA- Dan” I replied “You don’t make that much money every year, how will you ever afford to pay him”
To which Dan replied “That’s for him to worry about.”
Now I’m partly joking in sharing that story with you, it made me giggle a little when I heard it because what I realized in my pastor’s tale of his friend Dan was that we actually have the ability to give our worries to someone. The best part is that you don’t even have to tell Him you’re going to pay him $100,000. This is a good thing, because I don’t know about you but I could never afford that! God is always there for us, and he cares for us, he has your back. He works miracles in your life every day. Trust him to worry for you and enjoy this season of your life with confidence that it will pass.
The final word of encouragement and wisdom that I have for you today is to PUSH. When I was a little girl I learned in Sunday school the acronym P.U.S.H. or Pray Until Something Happens. This is an easy way for children to remember to trust in God and to believe that if you pray long enough something will happen. It was a lesson on faith and it must have been good because it has stuck with me for many years.
I often write in my blog about how faith and patience are twin powers, that one doesn’t do you much good without the other, and I believe this with all of my heart. Praying until something happens isn’t about pressuring God; it’s about knowing that He is the King of Kings and Lord of Lords and that the spoken prayers flowing from your mouth can and will change your life. But you must remember to be patient.
My family will be moving soon since my husband accepted a job transfer back in September. It’s a big decision but it was one that we felt confident God was calling us to make. I hope that my story will encourage those of you struggling in separation right now. I hope that this will help you believe in the works of the Almighty God.