As kids we ask flower petals if our love is requited! It’s silly, but most of us took it serious in our younger years. Now that we have grown up and most of us have married, we may not pick flower petals, but we sometimes get insecure of our husbands love for us and begin to rattle that phrase around in our heads, “He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not.”
Women are built with a need to be loved, which is why God, our Creator, commands husbands to love their wife in Ephesians 5. As much as husbands may truly love their wife, we often times question whether he really does or not. We need to be more confident in the love our husbands have for us. There is no way to eradicate the need and longing we have to be loved, however, we can control how we respond when we feel unloved. For example, when I feel unloved, neglected, and not at the top of my husbands priority, I begin to feel insecure in our relationship. My husband works many hours to provide for our family, but if he chooses to continue to work and not acknowledge me, if I feel neglected at all, I immediately get frustrated. Sometimes these feelings lead me to respond to my husband with contempt or disrespect through my attitude and tone of voice. I don’t want to be mad at him for working, and I don’t desire to be an irritating wife, rather I’m crying out to him, “LOVE ME! PLEASE!” But as much as I want to tell him how I feel, it usually comes out, “You need to take out the trash!” or “You never help with the dishes.” I am not sure why I do this, it seems mean, doesn’t it? I didn’t realize I do this until I started reading “Love And Respect” by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. I believe this book should be in the hands of every husband and wife! (A book review is coming soon!)
Anyways, instead of rattling that dubious question around in your head, instead of allowing your feelings to lead your heart, and instead of snapping at your husband as a byproduct of these insecure feelings, stop, breathe, and communicate gently. Simply sitting your husband down, expressing how you feel unloved, gives your husband a chance to then respond. I have attempted this a few times recently and it actually works. If this seems challenging for you, start with prayer. Ask God to reveal to you how to approach your husband and how to express your feeling in a healthy way.