Wives, I need your help…
First, let me explain what happened.
I went to Target. My intentions were to explore the clearance aisles for winter jackets for my family that would be a great deal. I didn’t bother to tell my husband because I knew he would be busy at work. I also wasn’t sure what I would find, so I entered those automatic doors wide-eyed and on a mission.
It didn’t take more than a minute to find myself on a detour.
I spent the next 30 minutes trying on some really cute outfits I found…on and off the clearance racks. When I felt satisfied with my basket full of goodies, excited about the way it all fit…an honest rarity…I headed to the check-out.
Did the thought of calling my husband and checking in to see if he approved of my purchase cross my mind?
Of course! But I pushed it aside as quickly as I could, distracted by the force of the conveyer belt shoveling my goods towards the employee who asked me if I found everything ok. I nodded with a smile, as if my treasures were a priceless find and a necessity. Deep down inside guilt made my stomach turn into knots.
Sometimes, when I am checking out at stores, I talk to my child loud enough for the cashier to hear, joking around, hoping to make the event a little more fun. Today, my words stung a little in my heart.
Ohh Eliott…are you going to treat today and buy these for mommy? You can use your college fund!
I promise I was only kidding, and my joke did bring a small grin to the cashier. Check. But where was the money I was using coming from…I didn’t want to know.
Then as I swiped a card I added,
Here, I will use Dad’s money.
Those words lingered in my heart.
My unsuspecting husband had no idea how much I had spent. And it would only be a matter of time until he found out.
I shoved the bags in the car, buckled up my son and headed home. My heart full of conviction.
I didn’t wait long to call my husband. In humility and embarrassment I told my husband what I had done. I apologized for not letting him know my plans or asking if what I wanted to do would be ok. I repented of my actions and affirmed my husband that I would be more intentional about being in agreement of how we spend our money.
He graciously forgave me and let me keep what I bought.
So I need your help… did I steal money from my husband?
I am trying to wrap my mind around what happened, where my heart was at, and how money affects marriage. My husband and I have always had an understanding about our finances; including each other in on purchases and keeping each other aware of how our money is being spent. However, there have been times I have struggled to see us as one in this area of our marriage. It is always when my selfish desires grow widely in my heart.
This is not a matter of not being able to spend money, but it is an issue of trust, security, and participating as a team in marriage. This issue is not an issue because my husband demands the final say or controls our money in a tight grip. Rather it is an issue of oneness in marriage. We share an account, we share access, we share responsibilities of managing and spending, we share, we keep each other in the know to work together as a team to make sure our family is taken care of. When I operate outside of being one with my husband, our relationship is affected. Imagine trying to walk North, your body working with its parts to do so, except your left leg will only go West…it would add some stress to your body as a whole, wouldn’t it?
My husband and I are one and we believe it is important to see us as one in the area of finances. So if I bought quite a few things without telling him, did I steal from him? It sure feels that way. I did not like the guilt I experienced knowing he didn’t know. I think my heart was in a very selfish place…I didn’t want him to tell me no, so I avoided him and neglected a very important part of our relationship that could quickly cause a lot of contention. I admit this was not a good thing and that I would be hurt if my husband had done this without me knowing. I am so blessed to be forgiven and have reconciled with my husband.
Can you relate? Have you ever stole money from your husband or made purchases behind his back?
Also, what is it with Target? I have heard other women say…“I just went in for one thing and came out spending hundreds!”
I would love to hear your feedback! Leave a comment below!