Have you ever reached a point in your marriage where you know your husband doesn’t love you anymore?
Maybe you are at that point right now.
Maybe you were heartbroken and didn’t know what to do so you typed in Google:
My husband doesn’t love me anymore”
…and maybe you were hopeful that something would pop up in the search to help you, to guide you, to explain how to change his heart, to win him over, or any other option to encourage your weary heart and the circumstances that you are facing. And maybe, just maybe, this article popped up.
As I have blogged about marriage over the years, this phrase: “My husband doesn’t love me anymore” – I have heard it from wives often, AND IT BREAKS MY HEART. This kind of news is devastating to the soul. If this is you…I am truly sorry that you have to experience this.
I couldn’t imagine my husband choosing not to love me anymore. I couldn’t imagine the life we have built together, any other way than together, and in love.
But this is a reality for many. It may be your reality. If it is, I know you are here because God has encouragement for you.
This is not an article to tell you what you did wrong, or how you can change your husband. The truth is that love is a choice. That is what makes marriage so vulnerable is that is reliant upon two individual people choosing daily to love each other. Unfortunately, we live in a fallen world and sin has corrupted us, hindering our ability to love the right way. When we have unrepented sin in our lives, our marriage suffers greatly.
Our souls are thirsty for real love. Sincere, genuine, true love. We crave it and we long for it every day. I have found that only perfect love comes from God. He is the only one who can fulfill this need we all have. We put pressure on our husbands to do this, but even if we are loved by our men, it will never be perfect, it will never be enough. If we are fulfilled by God’s love, the way our husbands love can be felt as enough and received with arms full of grace.
No matter what your circumstance is right now, please make sure that you are receiving the amazing love God has for you. When we understand God’s love, we know how to love better. Which leads me to my encouragement for you today. Regardless of whether or not your husband loves you, I urge you to love like God loves. God loves with unconditional love. God loves us even when we fail, or push Him away, or don’t love Him back. God is always faithful to love. God is love. So when it comes to your husband, love him unconditionally. Be faithful to love. In everything you do and say, do it with great love.
This kind of love is powerful. This kind of love changes people. This kind of love reflects the heart of God.
You have the right to mourn the news of your husband not loving you. You have the right to be upset and confused and frustrated. But as you experience all those different emotions, please don’t sin. Choose love. That is exactly what God did for us. People hated on Jesus. They begged the officials to crucify Him. Jesus didn’t fight back, because He understood the love of the Father and it helped Him to know what He was suppose to do in His circumstance.
Draw near to God. Embrace His love. And share His love. This will change your life, your heart, your perspective, your actions, and everything else for the better.
I also urge you to pray for your husband. Pray faithfully in belief that God would transform his heart. Not just to love you again, but more importantly, that he would come to know and understand and embrace the love of God. It is only when he knows real love that he will be able to love you that way. Pray for his heart and believe in a future where he knows real love.
Hang in there friend. Don’t let depression or the pain of what you are going through rule your heart. Give it to God and allow Him to heal you and mend your brokenness.
Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you.” – James 4:8
God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” – Romans 5:8
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” – Romans 8: 37-39
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.” – John 13:34
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.” – 1 John 4:7-8