There have been moments in my marriage I have felt utterly alone. Severed and separated from the love I thought was strong enough to outlast anything.
Have you ever thought to yourself, I am lonely in my marriage?
Sometimes marriage can leave us feeling the most isolated and lonely we have ever felt before. Probably because our spouse is supposed to be the closest one to us and when that bond broken it can leave a gaping wound in our hearts. Especially when we still see our spouse day in and day out, a reminder of the agony we are suffering.
Hardships, trials, frustration, bitterness, arguments, financial stress, lack of intimacy and resentment are just a few ways husbands and wives can be pushed into isolation. Sinking into hopeless is a miserable place to be in a relationship, and unfortunately many marriages experience it.
The message I feel encouraged to bring to you today is God loves you! I know that sounds cliche, but listen and truly accept these words, that are not just mine, but inspired by a magnanimous God…“He loves YOU!” He loves you, He cares for you and your marriage, and He wants you to be fulfilled in every way!
“But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” – Romans 8:37-39
“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” – Deuteronomy 31:8
God has said,“Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” So we say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?” – Hebrews 13:5-6
God will always be there with you! No matter how isolated or lonely you may feel in your marriage, cling to God! Rest in His Word and pray in faith that you will experience restoration in your marriage relationship.
Do you ever get tired of praying for your husband or your marriage?
Some of you may have been in prayer about many things including praying for your husband or seeing change in your marriage, and I feel encouraged to tell you to KEEP PRAYING! Don’t lose hope just because you do not see answers… rather keep praying and petitioning in faith that God is moving!
“See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another and for all people. Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:15-18
It is God’s will for you to continually pray. Do not let the hardships, the trials, and the negative emotions that rise, keep you from praying or spending time with God. 1 Thessalonians 5 continues in verse 19 by urging:
“Do not quench the Spirit.”
Continue to seek after God daily, whether your husband does or not. Pray for your husband and wait on God. Make sure you are being intentional about growing as a Godly wife and remain in faith, hope and love that your husband will too.
Know that God cares about the transformation of our character! Sometimes we endure really painful seasons so that He can refine us. So ask God how He is refining you!
Has your loneliness ever lead you to thoughts of divorce?
I would like to encourage those of you who are in such despair you are contemplating the pros and cons of separating from your husband. DON’T LEAVE! That option is never easy to even consider… but the reward you will receive by staying is so great! The marriage covenant is too important to God and should be for us as well! Hold fast and hold on tight for as long as you possibly can, in faith!!
*If you are considering leaving your husband due to a life threatening situation such as physical abuse, this is much different than the situations I am referring to above. Please use your judgement and seek professional help.
How can we starve our negative emotions of loneliness in marriage and dwell on the friendship we have with God?
Simply draw near to God. Reinforce your thoughts with God’s thoughts of you found throughout His Holy Word.
Your marriage will experience seasons that are difficult and challenging, but remember these words and trust in God to carry you through…
‘Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’ – Isaiah 41:10