Letter To My Husband: Loving In The Midst Of Pain

Dear Mondo,

This past month, life hasn’t been the easiest. We are heartbroken & confused. We both are eager to do God’s will & I’m thankful to have you. It isn’t easy, but God makes everything better. Our lives have changed. We never thought we would be losing our baby. The moment I told you I was pregnant, your world changed too. I won’t forget how your face lit up. You were ready to tell the entire world. We prayed & He answered us. The baby we talked about was happening. However, God had other plans for our baby. You probably thought if you would be a good dad. You thought of all the things you would do & wanted to teach him. Our parenthood adventure was short, but these 3 months full of so much joy I will forever be thankful for. We won’t be able to hold, kiss or hug Toby on Earth, but this only makes me want to go to heaven with you even more. We wonder how he would have looked like. If he got your chubby toes or your cute smile. I was so excited to see you as a dad. You already were the greatest dad ever. With the heartache, we can only be grateful to God for this gift. He had a mission that He fulfilled from inside the womb. I couldn’t imagine any other way of starting our family, with an angel next to God, interceding for us & his future siblings. He was made for greatness. I love you. I admire you. I wish I could love the way you love me. I have fallen so much deeper in love with you. We are scared of the future, but as long as we continue to have God in our life, those fears will be gone. I pray God blesses us with another baby or babies. Until then, we pray & wait. I am thankful our child never had to experience any harm or hate. All he received was love. The first person he saw was the face of Jesus. Instead of us telling him about God, God will be telling him about us. Thank you for the greatest gift, that was made out of our love. Half of you & half of me. Thank you for giving me the gift of life & making me a mom. I love you.
Love, Sarah

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