Oh man, how life has turned out. These few short years have been so incredibly hard.
You know already, but life has not been kind to me. Amidst abuse, and loneliness, and so much anger for how I was treated as a child- somehow Jesus’ love shined through. But as I’m learning even more now, anger and bitterness left unchecked wreaks havoc on even the strongest of relationships.
It sometimes seems as if life has conspired against us from day 1 of marriage. A full home to rebuild after a fire, 4 miscarriages in a year and a half, my brother in prison, another brother passing away, my family living with us… you have been there with me, and more importantly, for me through it all. As I am learning to take care of myself, and how to be a good wife as well as a good mother to our beautiful little girl, you endure. You endure my unchecked anger. You endure my crippling anxiety. You endure my bouts of sorrow from the passing of our four little ones, and my brother. You endure my doubting. Your love is the only constant in my life that I know I can count on. You show the love of Jesus so well. I know the Lord had a beautiful reason to pair us together, and I think part of it is to learn trust. I don’t trust human beings very easily, but I know, even if I don’t display it all the time, that I can trust you. You’re my best friend. You constantly remind me of what good we have in our lives. You love me, and our daughter so perfectly and effortlessly. I’m so thankful for you, Trev. You spur me on into right relationship with the Lord, and when I don’t think I can take any more, you endure. Thank you for all that you do for this family. Thank you for teaching me kindness and love. If I spent every single moment from now until eternity loving you, I still don’t think it would be enough.
I love you,