I had made an appointment last month to get my hair cut. I put it in the family calendar with a set alarm to go off on my phone and my husband’s phone, I reminded my husband that he would be watching the kids, and prepared what I could to have a smooth morning.
As I was getting ready for the day, my husband asked what time he should be home so I could leave on time. I texted back 8:45.
8:45 came and went. Just after 9 O’clock, my husband comes in the front door.
I was obviously frustrated. My husband quickly apologizes for being late, knowing that it was interrupting my schedule. I brushed him off. I focused on getting my stuff together to leave. (He tried explaining that he was home at 8:45, but got caught up out front talking with a city planner about a project we are working on, but I didn’t give him much room to tell me. I chose not to listen because I was too angry.)
He kindly asked if there was anything he could do to help me get out the door faster. I said no, but my attitude was terrible. My attitude was disrespectful. And it was expressed in front of our kids. Instead of getting mad back at me, which is a dangerous cycle we have experienced before, he just said,
I made a mistake, but you don’t have to.”
His words hit my heart like a meteor hitting the moon, leaving a decent impression. So much of an impression that after hearing his words replay in my mind a few times on the way to my appointment, I decided to share these words with my hair stylist.
I explained to her how in a situation like this, my negative attitude would escalate. I even realized that sometimes I feel like I have to be super angry so that my husband knows he was in the wrong. Almost as if I needed to teach him a lesson so it doesn’t happen again. But then I thought, why do I feel like I need to teach him anything through a frustrated attitude? Why can’t I just clearly explain to him how it makes me feel? And then pray for him and me, that we respect each other’s time.
His words meant a lot to me. Words I am still thinking about. Words that have more meaning than just with him being late and running into my schedule and me responding. They have everything to do with the way we respond to each other on a daily basis.
No matter what mistake my husband makes…I don’t have to make a mistake in the way I respond to him. I can choose to walk righteously. Likewise, if I make a mistake, my husband doesn’t have to.
In marriage, we encounter conflict all the time. We are people who error and make mistakes. We are people who sin. The important thing is how we – on the receiving end – choose to respond.
Maybe these words will stick with you like they have with me. I hope so!