Rebuilding A Dwindled Passion For My Husband

Ignite The Fire Of Your Marriage – Week 1

Passion…such a beautiful word. As a wife, one of my prayers is always to have more passion in my marriage. Why? I guess because I want my relationship with my husband to be mutually invigorating, full of love, a well-spring of intimacy, faithfulness, and security.ignite-fixed

I want my husband to be my everything and I desire to be my husband’s everything!

My heart’s desire is that my husband and I continue to grow closer together, understand each other deeper, experience more intimacy more often, and love each other more extravagantly than any other couple has ever loved. Our marriage to this point in time has encountered moments such as these, but I never want to plateau, I never want to get stale! So this will always remain my heart’s desire… always experiencing more, always growing, always loving.

When I think of passion, I think of intense love, unmatched by anything else, ever.

Passion in my relationship with my husband was insatiable when we were dating. There were aspects of our relationship that we had not experienced until marriage. The passion I felt when we were dating almost seemed tangible! It was as if I couldn’t hug him close enough or our 4 hour phone conversations weren’t long enough. My desire to be with him all the time increased all the more when we were limited by school and work schedules, or having to go home in opposite directions at the end of the night. We couldn’t wait to get married and passion fueled our pursuit.

After we married we encountered some hardships that chipped away at my passion. I allowed the challenges of life and adjusting to my new role as a wife to erode my passion, as if I was trading it in for bitterness and doubt.

I didn’t realize how much passion had an affect on my marriage. I also didn’t realize how much my thoughts and perspective about my circumstances affected my passion.

Over the years I have learned a lesson or two. God has been incredibly gracious with me, teaching me and refining me, taking me from who I was to the woman He created me to be. I am still in the midst of that transformation, and although some lessons are hard, they are worth it.

What I learned about passion is that the level of intensity can fluctuate depending on my thoughts. If I have good thoughts about my husband and a positive perspective on our circumstances, my love for him grows, as well as my passion towards him. My heart swells up with thankfulness, I see my husband’s value, and my desire for him increases.

However, if my thoughts for my husband are negative because I feel undervalued by him, hurt by him or expectations are not met, and I dwell on the circumstances that may seem less than what I feel I am deserved, my passion dwindles rapidly. All of a sudden I don’t want my husband close to me and I don’t care to talk to him. This has happened time and time again in my marriage.

The negative thoughts stem from a root of selfishness, where all I am doing is focusing on myself. What I need to do in those times is stop and pray Psalm 119:36

“Turn my heart toward your statutes and not toward selfish gain.”

I am learning that my mind has a huge influence on my passion! If I can learn to align my perspectives with God’s, be less selfish, and more thankful, than passion in my marriage increases drastically.

If we want a thriving marriage that is full of passion, then we must operate in thankfulness and humility. We must be willing to follow God’s statutes:

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” – Philippians 2:3-4

“No one should seek their own good, but the good of others.” – 1 Corinthians 10:24

I want to ignite passion in my marriage and I believe I can. I believe if I intentionally invest into my husband, which requires selflessness, and if I remain joyful and thankful, even when times in marriage are hard, then passion will continue to build in marriage.

Will you join me?

Week 1 Challenge:

Ignite passion in your marriage by investing into your husband joyfully. This may look different in every marriage, the challenge is to focus on an area of your marriage that is a little weak and pour time, energy and love into it.

This Marriage Series is continued on with three of my blogging friends who are also talking about passion in marriage! Don’t forget to check out Sheila, Courtney and Darlene!

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Ignite The Fire Of Your Marriage Series

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