Starting New Won’t Fix The Issue It Will Just Replace It

When I was driving home from work the other day, God revealed to me a correlation between my attitude directly towards my car and an attitude towards marriage that many people experience, myself included.

dont-window-shop-for-a-new-marriage

My husband and I recently invested a large amount of money to get a few things fixed in our car.  Less than two days after having our car back from the shop, the battery light began flickering as we headed down the freeway.  An anger rose from the core of my being!  

How could we invest so much and still have problems with our car?

My immediate response was an attitude of disgust and despise.  At that moment I was ready to dump the clunk of metal and jump into a brand new car!  In fact, during the process of taking it back to the shop to get it checked out again, I could not stop entertaining the idea that we needed a new car.

It is as if I accept my car until it breaks, then it no longer has value to me.  And if I choose to invest into the repairs, I complain the entire time about it.

We soon discovered that the blinking light was just a short, other than that our car was perfectly fine.  The news was enough to settle my fury, but I still couldn’t stop day dreaming about owning a new car, all while complaining about ours.

This is where the connection of my attitude towards my car and marriage came in.

I humbly admit that there have been times, early in my marriage when I got upset, feeling as if my investment was being wasted, overwhelmed with the idea that it would be better for me to drop all that I have for someone “new!”  Or if we chose to work through an issue, I complained about it the whole way.

I accepted my marriage until it seemed to break, then it lost value to me.  I was tempted to window-shop for a new life altogether!

I am not proud of the thoughts that I had, especially the attitude I had during those times of hardship.  Those were times that were very difficult for me, being the farthest from God I had ever been.

I have not experienced this kind of attitude in quite a long time, but I am familiar to the feelings it arouses.  There have been dark days in our marriage when I contemplated this idea that I needed someone new… someone that wouldn’t let me down or hurt me.

Have you ever had this attitude of discontentment or anger towards your marriage?

Have you had thoughts that maybe you were in need of someone “new”?

If you have chosen to work through your issues, do you still complain along the way?

I know there are many wives who have felt this way, and many who are experiencing those thoughts right now.  I want to encourage you to STOP, DROP, and PRAY!  The temptation of thoughts that lead one to think the grass is greener on the other side are lies from the enemy, who seeks daily to destroy marriage!  The only way we can overcome this temptation and the attitude that swells up within us is to go to God.  We need to invest spiritually into our marriages, asking God to help us and protect us from this mindset that can be so easily ensnaring.

The thought that someone new can make things better is so misleading.

Starting new won’t fix the issue!

That someone “new” is full of sin and deceit – just like you, me and any one of our spouses.  By nature we are sinful, which means we are going to fall short, let each other down, and hurt each other.

“For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” – Romans 3:23

However, God’s grace enables us to show mercy, forgive, and reconcile.

I hope this encourages someone out there today!  Remember, your investment into your marriage is always worth it!  Also, as we journey through marriage we will experience warning signs, flashing lights, and system malfunctions, they are inevitable!  So let us approach them with an attitude of faith that God is going to help us through them and that our marriages and the “fixes” we endure will promote growth and oneness!
 

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