I am someone who worries. I try not to, but fear is a thorn in my side. Some fears are rational, some are not. Responsibilities and things in life that I can’t control will cause me to fear. Fears are a daily struggle of mine in different areas of my life. My marriage is no exception. Here are a few: Fear that I am not the wife God has called me to be. I do not believe that every woman is made to be a wife. I am, so I want to honor God in my role as a wife. […]

But may the righteous be glad and rejoice before God; may they be happy and joyful. Psalm 68:3 Truth be told, many of us read marriage blogs with the hope of finding that key to a happy, healthy marriage. What can we do differently, better, more intentionally to save our marriage, heal our marriage, strengthen our marriage, or improve our marriage? For a number of years, my own marriage was in the pit – a black hole of frustration and despair. I asked myself Are we going to make it? more often than I care to think about now. Was I neglecting […]

There is a kind of divorce more devastating than that of physical separation. Although It is quiet and subtle, it is also cold and fierce; freezing hearts and wounding love’s strongest warriors. This divorce is deceptive. It masks itself with methodical togetherness and shallow adoration while under the surface the heart’s lush green pastures wither away. Once fertile soil becomes dry and brown yielding weeds useful only for stoking the fires of conflict. Unlike the physical separation of legal divorce, this type of divorce keeps two lovers close in proximity while fastening a wedge between their hearts. It seeks to […]

This past January I took part in the Unveiled Wife study. One of the lessons really stood out to me, and I loved seeing all of the conversation it stirred up among ladies doing the study. The subject was “submitting to your husband.” I completely agree that so often, people equate “submitting” to being walked all over. This comes from a culture that celebrates and promotes being an “alpha female” and engraining into women’s minds that they can lead just as well as men. I am all for women being successful in their careers and workplaces, but I do think […]

We all know how hectic it can be this time of year. Between the nonstop shopping, gift exchanges, children’s performances, family suddenly wanting to visit, last minute Christmas cards, decorating, baking, family pics, wrapping gifts and well there is just toooo much to list. Im exhausted just thinking about it… Back to where I started, we all know how hectic it can be this time of year… and why? Why do we allow CHRISTmas to become this way? This time of year is truly incredible, we get to celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ! Not only […]

Struggling with what to get your man for the holidays? Here’s an idea that won’t break your bank but will warm his heart! As the holidays approach it is easy to focus on buying gifts for others, but some of the most memorable presents are the ones you make! Don’t let your husband fly under the radar this Christmas and make it a priority to give him your thoughtfulness. How? Connect God’s Word to why you love him so much by choosing a bible verse that describes him as a husband/father. Take the verses and your love and put them together […]

Christmas is quickly approaching and as a mother of two young children, I often get so wrapped up in creating Christmas memories with my children that my poor husband get’s neglected. Christmas cookies, decorating the house, and visits from the Elf of a Shelf, my schedule gets full of keeping the little ones entertained. I exhaust myself with their activities that I have nothing left to give to my husband. Until, I came up with a brilliant plan that was husband approved!! It started last Christmas and I can’t wait to start again this year. The idea popped into my […]

My husband and I have started going to marriage counseling. This is such a difficult thing for me. It isn’t something that I ever thought my marriage would need. I will admit to arrogance on my part. I will admit that my pride was blinding me so that I thought that I didn’t need as much help as my husband did. I even played the “we do not have the money for counseling” card. I didn’t want to spend money on counseling,  I wanted to spend money on other things. (Yes, I know I am selfish. I am a work in […]

Name: Melissa Hoogenraad Age: 39 Children: Sarah 15, Cole 13, Luke 9 Religion: Christian UW: How long have you been married?  We will be married 17 years this November UW: How long did you date your husband before you married? 3 1/2 years UW: Did you have any fears about being a wife? Yes, I feared our marriage would not last and we would end in divorce (it’s what I knew). I also feared not being able to please his family and never truly being accepted. UW: What do you enjoy about being a wife? I love being a wife! […]