Writen by: Unveiled Wife On August 17, 2011

This Is An Intimacy Crisis And It Needs To stop!

Unveiled Wife initially began because of a strain of intimacy in my marriage.  Sex was a struggle in my marriage for many years and it wasn’t something that was easy to talk about.  I felt led to start a page that would encourage and pray for other wives.  As the Facebook page grew, my husband and I realized that there is a large number of wives who are hurting in their marriage.  We thought that if there is such a huge response from wives, where are the husbands?  So my husband created Husband Revolution, a Facebook page dedicated to encouraging and praying for husbands.

Both Unveiled Wife and Husband Revolution have given husbands and wives a platform to be encouraged and be an encouragement, to receive prayer and to pray for others, to seek wisdom and share understanding!  It is such a wonderful blessing to see how husbands interact with other husbands and see wives interact with other wives from all over the world.

However, there is a pattern that we are seeing that we must acknowledge.  This pattern seems to be an underlying issue for many broken and sexless marriages.  It all boils down to The Intimacy Crisis.  We have witnessed men seeking advice as to why they feel unaccepted by their wives.  They feel undesirable and some even feel inadequate as a lover. With all the temptation of lust in this world, unfulfilled intimacy in marriage will make it an even greater temptation for husbands.  Some husbands also struggle with desiring intimacy with their wife, and the rejection causes tension in the relationship.

On the other hand, women are brokenhearted that our men have stopped pursuing us.  We are waiting to be romanticized, yet the idea of sex is tangled up with seeing it as a chore, or there is a lack of desire, or other things take priority leaving no energy to even attempt.  We reject our husbands with excuses or emotional baggage we are unwilling to let go of.  We are tempted to seek emotional connections with others who might understand us better than our own husbands.

Both parties have been wounded in some way or another and no one is willing to risk getting hurt again by initiating.  It becomes a vicious cycle of pain resulting in bitterness keeping intimacy out of marriage.  Couples question who’s at fault, who owes who, and unmet expectations, forcing each other into isolation.

This is an Intimacy Crisis and it needs to stop!  The enemy is laughing at us as we sit in our rooms with tears in our eyes.  Marriages are failing left and right, and some of you are experiencing it right now.  Some of you are and have been experiencing an intimacy drought that has left you hanging on by only a thread.  The weight of this burden has not gone unnoticed and its time we stand up and fight for our marriages!  We need to take the initiative whether our spouse is with us or not, to submit our marriage to God.  We need to allow God to transform us!  We need to understand that our spouse is human and that they will fail and won’t always meet our expectations.  We need to be willing to respond in love and to initiate intimacy daily!

Stop worrying about who did what… forgive as God has forgiven you!

Stop judging your relationship on performance… love unconditionally as God has loved you!

Stop expecting a perfect spouse… for everyone falls short, even you!

Stop the vicious cycle of hurt leading to isolation so you can experience an extraordinary marriage with your companion!

Evaluate your marriage right now.  If you or your husband is hurt in someway, physically, mentally, or emotionally, pray right now that God would heal and restore.  Now go and find a way to spend intimate time with your spouse… and if you can’t for any reason, then continue to pray in faith until God fulfills your marriage!  Don’t be afraid to initiate, for even if you get rejected you are showing your spouse TRUE LOVE just as Christ has loved his people unselfishly, sacrificially and at all costs.

God created marriage and he wants yours to not just succeed, but to be fulfilled in every way!

Unveiled Wife

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My name is Jennifer and I began this BLOG to share my journey as a wife, unveiled, uncovered and wide open, to purge my heart of the pain I have encountered AND to encourage other women in the world who are, have been, or will soon be wives... READ MY STORY HERE

Join The Discussion, Leave A Comment Below!

  • ZenMom

    My husband and I have been married for 20+ years. There was intimacy during the first year of our marriage; but, after 2 years of disappointing, non-productive fertility treatments, it just became a chore. We both pulled away from one another. We have been intimate several times since those early years, but I can truly say that they were very few and very far between. We have never found a way to rekindle the romantic intimacy. We have an amazing partnership, friendship and work very well to raise our children, whom we adopted 10 years ago. We have an attentive, affectionate, even playful relationship. I believe the desire is there but we don’t know where to begin. How do we get past the awkwardness to try to regain the ground we’ve lost…help?

  • Sheila Reed

    I could have written your comment! Especially the part about him telling me to meet my needs through Jesus. How do you handle this? Because I agree too, my spouse is also commanded to meet my needs!

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