The Veils Women Wear – Which One Are You Wearing?

If you take a look at the women around you, whether you know them or they are strangers, you will see an expansive variety of different types of women. Each one decorated in appearance by wardrobe, facial expressions, hairstyle and body language all of which is motivated by their heart, mind and personality.

We all have our own way of sharing who we are with the world. Many of us, however, hide even more what one cannot see physically, or at least we try. We clutch onto a security blanket or veil that keeps the stuff we don’t want seen, hidden.

Some hide it better than others.

It wasn’t until I became a wife that I realized how much I was hiding. I struggled to understand why I felt distant in my relationship with my husband and even with God, as if there was something blocking me from going further, deeper, closer…only to discover it was by my own doing. I feared what my husband or God would think of me if they knew the real me, so I kept them at arms length.

After reading 2 Corinthians 3:16-18 I felt God ask me to be completely unveiled, to let down the walls in my heart, to be transparent in my relationships and let others know the real me.

Of course, this required great risk, especially in my marriage.

Will he understand me?

Will he extend grace?

Will my husband still love me?

As I did this, with only the courage I received from God and the hope of being truly known and loved, I made myself known to God and my husband. Through prayer, I described to God…everything…every deep place in my heart that I had been trying to hide. Then I sat with my husband and did the same thing. What I found was indescribable freedom, peace, and unconditional love.

I am passionate about sharing this message of what it means to be unveiled because I know there are other women just like me. Women who put on a smile, dress nice and act kind, yet are dying inside, yearning to be fully known and loved, terrified of what that really means, what that requires.

When I look at those around me, I see more than wardrobe and countenance. I see them clutching an invisible veil, trying to hide their hearts from the world. They are convinced they are protecting themselves – I know because that is why I was doing it – but in reality they are hindering intimacy in their closest relationships.

The veils that keep them from experiencing more in this life are woven together by many different threads. In The Unveiled Wife I explain that I hid behind the veil of expectations, imperfections and insecurities, all of which kept me from seeing things clearly.

Today I want to share a greater list of some of the veils women hide behind. If you struggle with any of these I want to encourage you to take time to meditate on 2 Corinthians 3:16-18 and ask God what it means for you to be unveiled from these things.

But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.” – 2 Corinthians 3:16-18

I also want to encourage you to get my book The Unveiled Wife so you can see how God worked through me to be unveiled and how doing so saved and transformed my ability to embrace true intimacy with God and my husband.

  1. expectations
  2. imperfections
  3. insecurities
  4. fear
  5. past pain
  6. people pleasing
  7. victim mentality
  8. selfishness
  9. self-image
  10. success
  11. validation
  12. beauty
  13. education
  14. justification
  15. anger
  16. bitterness
  17. discontentment
  18. hatred
  19. racism
  20. guilt

Are you blinded by a veil woven together with any one of these? Do you feel like you are being blocked from experiencing deep intimacy with God or in your marriage?

Are there other things that come to your mind as to what else might be affecting you, motivating you to hide, that are not on the list?

Please share your thoughts in the comments.

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