The last three years have been the hardest of my life. You and I have been through the ringer! First you got hurt, then weren’t even fully recovered and lost your job -a major blow after your head injury had made simply tasks so difficult for you- then we lost the house, had 2 kids in 15 months (bringing the child total to 5!), you have been working so hard and getting blow after blow -nonstop for 3 years. From my side, it has been terrible too. Your head injury effected your personality and impulse control. I was suddenly married to a completely different man who was so angry and couldn’t control his temper. I felt like I lost my soulmate, the man I fell in love with and married. You slipped into severe depression for over a year. You never laughed any more, you couldn’t take joy in anything -not even our beautiful children. Then you stopped even talking to me and recessed into such a dark place. I felt like the man I married died and I was left with someone I no longer recognized. And nothing I did could ever please you. I couldn’t bring you out of that dark place! I had to leave to force you to get help. I hated it. It was never about ending our marriage. It was always about saving it. And it worked. You have begun to come out of the darkness. We are partners now in our home. Us against the world. But every time we get our feet under us, you get knocked down again. Larry, this is what I want to say. YOU ARE WORTH IT!! The times you have been rejected by employers shows only a lack of understanding! How can you put on a resume’ that you play 8 musical instruments? Or that you are a VERY accomplished carpenter? Or how about your creative problem-solving skills? Can you get across your real talents and gifts in a way that they could even value? How about how you put yourself through college while working 50hrs a week and going to school full time -while pulling a 3.95 GPA. All those things speak to the kind of hardworking, careful, meticulous and creative man that you are! And I SEE the value in you! I see who you REALLY are! I would live in a grass hut with you! I will never stop fighting to protect our marriage and family! I will never stop believing in you! God has given us to each other and no matter what happens I will be here, right here pulling for you, believing in you, praying for you, loving you, comforting you! It is you and me against the world. I am in your corner. Your biggest fan. Life has been hard. You have been kicked when you are down. You have not been valued for your true potential. All this will pass and you and I will still be together! This is what marriage is really about: hanging on and leaning together when it is tough. Marriage is hard. It is SUPPOSED to be hard! That is how it makes us better! It is special BECAUSE it is hard. Anybody can do easy stuff! It takes real commitment to survive marriage! So what do you say? Shall we pray hard, work hard and ride it out? Let’s make it through to 50 years. Are you with me? Because you are WORTH it! God thinks you are worth it too. I love you, and I am in it for life! This is me. I am here on your side. I am here to say: Where you go, I will go. Where you lodge, I will lodge. Your people shall be my people and your God, my God (good thing we worship the true God). The Lord do so to me and more also if anything but death separates you and me.
All my love, Dawn Marie