Love Is Not Proud
A prideful person is recognizable by their behavior. Pride is manifested in many ways. A prideful person convinces themselves that they are always right. This makes it very difficult for them to admit when they are wrong, it makes it difficult for them to admit that they sin, and it makes it very difficult for them to apologize. A prideful person believes they are self-sufficient so they do not depend on God, their spouse, or anyone else. They have a “know-it-all” attitude and are conceited, exaggerating their importance by esteeming themselves above others. They criticize others, yet when criticized they become very defensive. They have a difficult time submitting to others and they are stubborn!
A prideful person may only struggle with one of those things or all of them, the critical thing is to understand how to define pride. Then we need to evaluate ourselves and see if we have pride in our hearts.
God detests pride because it keeps people away from Him. A prideful person does not acknowledge their sin or their dependence for God so they keep their distance.
In his pride the wicked man does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God. – Psalm 10:4
My father-in-law always says the most miserable people are the ones that know God, but do not walk with Him.
Pride can also destroy a marriage. If a husband or a wife is full of pride they will have a difficult time apologizing. I feel like my husband and I have to apologize to each other at least once a day for something. Being married is challenging. When two people live together day in and day out, there will be times that they hurt each other, annoy each other, they will not always meet each others expectations… and the list can continue. My point is that being able to say “I’m sorry” whether one is wrong or right is necessary for a marriage to thrive.
My husband struggles with pride… he actually just admitted that pride is a weakness of his at bible study last Tuesday. I remember how hard it was for him in the beginning of our marriage to say sorry. It hurt my feelings and I felt like there was continuous contention between us. Overtime he realized that pride corrupts, and he has since made great strides in changing his character! It is beautiful to see my husband grow in this area and it encourages me to make adjustments in my weak areas.
God warns us in Proverbs that pride will bring upon destruction.
Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. – Proverbs 16:18
We need to be very careful that we do not allow destruction into our marriage through the existence of pride. Pride will corrode our relationships and destroy the intimacy God designed us to experience in marriage.
Although God detests pride and warns us against it, He is also gracious in showing us the antidote!
God opposes the proud, but shows favor to the humble. – James 4:6
The best way to extinguish pride is to practice humility!
Here are 5 ways to practice humility:
1. Be Grateful – Showing gratefulness is appreciating or valuing someone else! It takes the focus off of ourselves and gives attention to others. In marriage you can show gratefulness by telling your husband why you appreciate him. Also, be sure to spend time with God sharing with Him why you are grateful!
2. Be Teachable – Pride will halt a person’s ability to grow. If we remain teachable we will expand our wisdom, our understanding, and our knowledge as we mature. Allowing your husband to teach you will show him honor and respect as you two mature together. You can do this in different ways including listening to his opinions, receiving his advice, watching him show you something, remaining open-minded, and by letting him lead.
3. Be Respectful – To give someone respect, you must esteem them higher than yourself. In marriage you can do this by honoring your husband… affirming him in the presence of others, complimenting him, encouraging him, or telling him that you respect him. You can also show respect through submission and trust.
4. Be Understanding – Take into account other perspectives, give others time to share opinions, and convince yourself you do not know-it-all! The greatest way to do this in marriage is to listen and consider your husband’s side. Coat your heart in compassion any time you enter into conversation with your husband.
5. Be Willing – A person with humility is always willing! Be a person willing to help others, love others, and serve others. In marriage be willing to apologize often, be willing to compromise, be willing to show love extravagantly, be willing to do what you think your husband should when he can’t or forgets, and be willing to forgive.
Practice humility through the 5 ways presented in this article.
Thank you for showing me how pride can destroy marriage. I pray that you would reveal to me where I struggle with pride and that you would begin to remove that pride out of my heart. I pray for your help as I practice humility. Holy Spirit I ask for help not to be prideful towards my husband, but instead be submissive to his opinions, willing to apologize and remind me often that I don’t know-it-all! I also pray for my husband right now and ask that you would also remove any prideful ways in him. I pray that we would be able to make these changes together as we strive for a thriving marriage in Jesus name I pray AMEN!
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. – 1 Corinthians 13 : 4-8
Questions to discuss in the comments:
Do you struggle with pride?
Have you overcome pride? If so, tell us how by sharing your experiences and advice!