Love Does Not Dishonor
To dishonor someone means that you bring shame or disgrace to them. Love does not dishonor because love is not humiliating, demeaning, or inappropriate. Another version of scripture says that love does not act unbecomingly. If we claim to love our husbands our conduct should reflect so.
As wives we can either dishonor or honor our husbands by our conduct, by what we say and how we say it, by our appearance, how we present ourselves, and by our attitudes. Below are a few scenarios of what dishonor might look like in marriage…
Lets say my husband and I are at a BBQ with friends and my husband asks a favor of me. If I respond selfishly because I think he is capable of doing it himself or I am too busy, and with attitude I snap at him, I am dishonoring him, especially in the presence of others.
“However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” – Ephesians 5:33
If my husband and I have a mutual friend that is a guy, and I am overly friendly towards him – like flirting – I am dishonoring my husband.
If my husband wants me to look nice, but I, without a care, am always looking frumpy, I m dishonoring my husband.
When my husband says something that I don’t agree with and I get frustrated, yelling at him why I think he is wrong, I am dishonoring my husband.
When I don’t use appropriate word choices, especially name calling, I am dishonoring my husband.
“She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” – Proverbs 31:12
If I dress immodestly on purpose, with no concern for my husband or other women’s husbands, I am dishonoring my husband.
Here is a deep one… If I bring sin into our marriage, such as viewing pornography, I am dishonoring my husband.
“Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” – Hebrews 13:4
It is crucial for the sake of our marriages that we are aware of our conduct. As wives we are called to a high standard of living by God. We should be adamant about honoring our husbands. I believe that as we honor our husbands, the world will see that we are different than the culture we live in. And we can say that God has helped us learn a better way, a way that is beautiful.
Did you know that God honors us. Despite our failure, fault, destruction, and sin, He forgives us and restores us. He knows our worth and He is confident that we are capable of transformation. He treats us with dignity and respect no matter how far we have fallen.
What would the world look like if we had God’s character?
What would marriage look like if we honored our spouse the way God honors us?
We can be more of aware of our conduct as we strive to be like Jesus… Holy! It will take some time, but as we practice living out the fruits of the Spirit, we will see transformation in our character and our conduct.
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance (patience), kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control” – Galatians 5:22-23
Ask God to show you if you are dishonoring Him or your husband. Also ask your husband if you ever dishonor him, be sure to listen without becoming defensive. If you are dishonoring God or your husband, turn from it, and be a woman of honor! God will bless you and your marriage for it.
I ask right now that you reveal to me if I am dishonoring you or my husband. Open my eyes and soften my heart so that I may repent if I am dishonoring either of you. I desire to be a woman of honor! I ask that your Holy Spirit would change my mind and my attitude so that I intentionally live a life of honor. If I have dishonored my husband I pray that you would would heal my husband and mend our relationship. Help me not to get defensive in any way, but rather help me to be a good listener when I talk to my husband about this. I pray that we honor each other in marriage from here on in Jesus name I pray AMEN!
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. – 1 Corinthians 13 : 4-8
Questions to discuss in the comments:
Is there anything you are doing that is dishonoring your husband?
Do you act unbecomingly or inappropriate?