Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. – Psalm 37:4
Psalm 37:4 saved my marriage, and because of that we have chosen, as a couple, to cling to this verse. I was in the middle of an affair.
My world was falling apart.
My husband was awaiting my answer? I had spend a week trying to figure out what I wanted. I had to figure out what was best for me, my heart, my soul and my life. Pretty selfish huh?
My husband spent the week at his parent’s house and I stayed at our home. We had only been married for a short time, less than 2 years. In that 2 years, I fell in love with another man, a man I was convinced could be described as my soul-mate.
I spent the week racking my brain over the best choice. In my mind, my choice was made, but how was I going to break it my husband that I was going to leave him for another man. Usually, when I am overwhelmed, I spend as much time cleaning and reorganizing as possible to help take my mind off the issue.
I was cleaning the living room, I ran across a wedding gift that Scott and I had received on our wedding day. It was a set of memory verse cards.
My affair had pulled me away from Jesus.
I don’t even remember the last time I had prayed or even cracked open a Bible. But for some reason, that day, as I moved the cards, I took the time to read this verse:
“Delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” – Psalm 37:4
Right then and there, my heart was softened. I fell to my knees in prayer and had a pretty intense conversation with God. I cried out to God. What was I doing? What have I done? I caused all this to happen all because I was looking for my own desires.
Who am I to decide what my desires are? I was not delighting in the LORD, I was running in the opposite direction. I had been running from God, but God was the answer this whole time.
I was selfish and living in sin. God put Scott in my life for a reason. God knows my desires better than I could, and I wanted to know what God’s plan was. Then as I sat sobbing on the floor, I heard his voice.
God’s voice called my name,
Shannon, what are you thinking? Are you questioning my plans for you? I know your heart and I know your desires. Of course if you leave Scott I will have a plan for that road; however, if you choose to stay on this road, stay with Scott, the plan is amazing! The future might be bumpy at first but it will be more than you ever dreamed. Trust me, Shannon, I know the desires of your heart. Trust me, love me, delight in me, and you will see how amazing life can be.”
It was so great to hear God call my name, it had been so long. I had given up on God. My sin was too terrible to have God forgive me. But hearing my name reminded me of His sweet grace. He is a God of second chances.
God you are right. Who am I to think I could possibly fulfill my own desires by my own hands. Who am I to question your plan for my life with Scott? God, I know you placed Scott in my life for a reason. I want to delight in you. I want you to give me the desires my heart truly needs. God I don’t know how I got to this place, my life is a mess. My marriage is broken. I’ve lost friends. Help Lord, what am I supposed to do?”
“Run to Scott. Run full-speed back to Scott. He will forgive you. He will take you back.
It is going to take work, but your marriage will make it.”
Scott and I have celebrated 11 years of marriage this past June!
I have fallen so in love with Scott. God was right, and has blessed me with this man who I am honored to call, Beloved. I made a painting of our verse which hangs in the living room.
We are reminded everyday of the amazing love and grace that God has poured over our life and marriage. When things look like they are not working out, we stop and make sure that we are delighting in God.
Our desires often turn selfish in nature, so we pray for God to show us our desires and passions of our heart. We strive to be like Him daily!