Why I Stopped Saying No To My Husband And Why You Should Too

no
Photo credit: Sam Ciurdar

A few weeks ago I asked God what I should give up for the 40 day fast leading up to Easter.  As I assumed it would be a food item or electronic, I was surprised when I felt strongly convicted to give up the word “NO!”

Over and over again in the days leading up to the fast, I recognized just how often I say no to my husband. Whether it is for a small favor, an opinion he has shared, or an invitation for sexual intimacy, I was quick to blurt out the word no! It was as if God opened my eyes to show me how I do this, for I never noticed it before.

So when the fast began, I fasted from saying no to my husband. I cannot describe how challenging this commitment has been to fulfill. On the first day I said no to my husband 4 times in less than 30 seconds. Saying no so often hurt my husband and my marriage.  I have been married over 7 years and thought saying no was okay. The response to object has become a habit hard to break. I repented and asked The Lord to help me, to change me.

My desire to be a YES Wife has been growing!

The more I fail at avoiding “No” the more I ask God to transform me…and He has been!

I am now half way through the fast and catching my tongue quicker and quicker. My husband knows about this commitment, as I shared with him my intentions shortly into the fast.  Has he taken advantage of it? No, not intentionally. He is too sweet! But I am sure he has thought about it! Actually, if I can be honest with you, my husband and I have always experienced struggles with sexual intimacy and recently we are not only experiencing an increase, but also improvement in the bedroom, satisfying both of our needs.  By saying yes in all areas of my relationship with my husband, it has become even easier to say yes despite the struggles that haunt from our past with sex in marriage.

We recently had a conversation about how removing the word no has affected our marriage and here are a few observations my husband mentioned:

– I feel more respected by you.

– Our relationship seems less burdened by stress.

– You seem nicer.

– It feels easier to open up and talk.

As my husband shared these observations with me and witnessing the impact my choice to stay away from saying no has made, my heart has been blessed tremendously. It has been beautiful to see how much influence I carry as a wife, and how my intentionality to be better positively improves my marriage. I have also felt more loving, more caring, more like Christ when it comes to serving, and I feel happier.

I believe you should stop saying “No” to your husband because you too can experience this powerful transformation and be blessed, especially if you are quick to say no like I was. Evaluate your life today and ask God to show you if you struggle in this area.

I challenge you to stop saying “NO” and be intentional about being a “YES” wife!

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