Writen by: Unveiled Wife On August 24, 2011

How To Be A Joyful Wife

I am a very sensitive and emotional person.  I often let my heart lead instead of leading my heart.  God has been showing me how to live my life according to His word and not by my feelings.  A few things I am learning I don’t really like, as they require me to change, and well change can be hard.  However, as a Christian and a wife, I know that there are things that I need to work on. (A friend of mine calls them “growing pains!”)

In the last few days my attitude and outlook on life has been far less than joyful.  When my husband asks me, “What’s wrong?” I stare out the window and respond, “I’m just tired.”  It’s not a lie, I have been tired, but it is a little more than just that.  I have this gnawing tightness in my chest, the only expression on my face is apathy, and my conversations only last a few words.

Last night we were driving home and my husband looked over towards me, then back towards the road.  “What?”  I snapped.  He looked back at me and asked so sincerely, “What has stole your joy?”  I was speechless.  He pinpointed what I was struggling with, so I couldn’t mask it by my usual “tired” excuse and I still wasn’t willing to acknowledge myself that I am not joyful.  My husband challenged me to find out what has stole my joy and get it back.

I woke up this morning to my husband praying over me.  I was half a sleep and lacked the strength to force myself to be alert.  I heard a few of his words, but the majority of it sounded muffled.  I fell back to sleep to snag a few more delightful hours of rest.  When I got up,  I jumped into my routine of checking e-mails, when I came across a verse of the day that gets automatically sent to my inbox.  This is what I read:

“Those who listen to instruction will prosper; those who trust the Lord will be joyful.” ~ Proverbs 16:20

I realized in that moment that I have been living the past few days not trusting in God and letting my feelings lead my life and it made me miserable.

God,

I am sorry for not trusting in you.   I am sorry for not being content with the things you have provided for me.  I am sorry that I allow such small things to effect me so much that I have no joy.  Please help me to be stronger and to know how to always trust in you!  I pray that my life exudes JOY always! Please help me manage my time and not spread myself too thin.  Thank you for all that you have given me, especially your word that encourages at the best times and teaches me how to live like you have called me to!  Thank you for my husband and his patience with me.  Bless him Lord!  AMEN!

Many things can take JOY away. Here is a list I put together to help me evaluate my life and make sure that nothing steals my joy.  If you want check out this list and make sure that nothing is stealing your JOY, if it is than you know what you should adjust.

-Trusting God in all circumstances

-Managing Time (Women Multitask – but don’t spread yourself so thin that you can’t put 100% into what you do, otherwise anxiety will creep up on you!)

-Lead Life By God’s Word – Not by Feelings

-Being content

If you have anything to add to the list that would benefit wives and encourage JOY please comment below!

Unveiled Wife

Posts Website Twitter Facebook Google+

My name is Jennifer and I began this BLOG to share my journey as a wife, unveiled, uncovered and wide open, to purge my heart of the pain I have encountered AND to encourage other women in the world who are, have been, or will soon be wives... READ MY STORY HERE

Join The Discussion, Leave A Comment Below!

  • Susan Stracuzzi

    Lately our life has been rocked by our 19 year old daughters mental illness and it really usually does steal all my joy. Nothing matters to me when she is in her own world. It also takes such a toll on our marriage of 28 years. It is so hard not to get in a funk and lose my joy, I always get so lifted up when I come to your blog. Thanks for always leading me back to trusting in Jesus, even when it’s yucky days. Hugs to all the women out there striving to be holy. Please put my Sarah on your list of prayers if you can…it would be so appreciated by this mama. I want to be joyful again.

  • HannaSurung

    wow I am blessed now I start to refresh love with my husband andmy kid Rachel. Lord Jesus bless you Jen…

  • serena

    wow ! its all true i been experience this kind of feelings until i realize and Pray to God for my joy. he gives me wisdom . theres a lot a things in this world will hindrance our joy but the forever joy that will looking for is in God only.   

  • Sabrina Gale

    Thank you for posting this. I have suffered with depression for a long time. It was only when I finally listened to my Husband and started praying to and trusting in God that I started to feel better. I am definitely one for letting my feelings rule me.
    A very inspirational post and website!

  • Tsilva91011

    Wow! This post definitely spoke to me. I have been feeling like this myself for the past couple of weeks. I’ve been letting people and circumstances steal my joy. It all comes from lack of trust in God and disappointment in things not going the way I would like. Reading this reminds me to ALWAYS trust in God and know that he hears me and will help me get through these moody and restless moments!:-)

  • KatieK

    I’ve been praying for you and about your situation. God gave me these verses and words for you.

    “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” -Romans 8:28If you honestly know that this marriage was of God and that He purposed for it, then trust in Him. He will work the most dismal and hurtful things for the good of His children. He loves you and cares so much for you! I know it is cliche but He will never lead you where the grace of God cannot cover you. I know this seems unbearable, but God has a reason. You dont see it now and probably wont for a while but this will work for the good and according to His purpose…for it is written.

    ‎”Joyful are those who listen to me, watching for me daily at my gates, waiting for me outside my home!” -Proverbs 8:34
    Sometimes the purpose of the trials we go through are get us to draw close to our Heavenly Father admitting we cant do it or fix it and handing it completely over to Him. Sometimes my problem is that I think I’ve handed it over but I really haven’t totally. Know that these things aren’t punishments. Cling to Him and wait for Him.

    “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature, not lacking anything.” -James 1:2-4
    Sometimes the hardest task is to be joyful amongst the storm. The storm must finish its work. Waiting with joy through the rain and thunder for God to move.

    ‎”Devote yourselves to prayer with an alert mind and a thankful heart.” – Colossians 4:2
    Pray for your husband. Pray God speaks and moves in his heart. Pray for your own heart. Devote yourself to prayer…fast if you must. Be thankful that you are going through this. I know it seems crazy to think that way. But you wouldn’t be tested or go through trials if you weren’t one of God’s beloved children.

    My prayers for you continue. And as God speaks to me I will post things for you. May God bless you and place His hands on you my dear stranger :)

  • KatieK

    I’ve been praying for you and about your situation. God gave me these verses and words for you.

    “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” -Romans 8:28If you honestly know that this marriage was of God and that He purposed for it, then trust in Him. He will work the most dismal and hurtful things for the good of His children. He loves you and cares so much for you! I know it is cliche but He will never lead you where the grace of God cannot cover you. I know this seems unbearable, but God has a reason. You dont see it now and probably wont for a while but this will work for the good and according to His purpose…for it is written.

    ‎”Joyful are those who listen to me, watching for me daily at my gates, waiting for me outside my home!” -Proverbs 8:34
    Sometimes the purpose of the trials we go through are get us to draw close to our Heavenly Father admitting we cant do it or fix it and handing it completely over to Him. Sometimes my problem is that I think I’ve handed it over but I really haven’t totally. Know that these things aren’t punishments. Cling to Him and wait for Him.

    “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature, not lacking anything.” -James 1:2-4
    Sometimes the hardest task is to be joyful amongst the storm. The storm must finish its work. Waiting with joy through the rain and thunder for God to move.

    ‎”Devote yourselves to prayer with an alert mind and a thankful heart.” – Colossians 4:2
    Pray for your husband. Pray God speaks and moves in his heart. Pray for your own heart. Devote yourself to prayer…fast if you must. Be thankful that you are going through this. I know it seems crazy to think that way. But you wouldn’t be tested or go through trials if you weren’t one of God’s beloved children.

    My prayers for you continue. And as God speaks to me I will post things for you. May God bless you and place His hands on you my dear stranger :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1378590904 Gabby Riel

    JOY…guard your sight and ears from unwholesome things…even if your hubby doesn’t always do the same.  Always strive to be a blessing for him, every moment.  Moment to moment.

  • Dzifa

    KatieK, God bless you for your words of encouragement and prayer. Our
    main problem is communication along with unresolved family issues. We
    live miles apart in different countries and we’ve stayed together
    approximately 12 days since we got married. Heavenly Father, I need you
    so badly. I’m hurting inside so much…  

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Grace-Bloodsworth/1343780705 Grace Bloodsworth

    Thank you for this!  Please pray for me tonight!

  • KatieK

    My husband and I have been married for 4 months as well, and it has been no easy trek. Shortly after getting married we had a few rifts due to family issues and a lack of communication. I remember loosing sleep and constantly feeling sick about the rift between us. I certainly lacked joy. But instead of me trying to fix the problem myself, I desperately handed it over to God and begged Him to fix things. Then I worked on talking to my husband, it wasn’t easy at first and many tears were shed. But I explained my feelings and actions and thoughts. Once all the family issues were resolved we found that our main issue was the lack of communication and not clearly understanding how each other communicated. After a couple months, now we are doing great. Sure we still argue about toothpaste and replacing the toilet paper roll, but we are working very hard to communicate and stand by each other and keep Christ as the center of our marriage. I dont know about your rift but I know God can mend anything no matter how bad or dismal the situation may seem. I hope this encourages you a bit and I’ll be praying for you as well. God Bless!

  • KatieK

    My husband and I have been married for 4 months as well, and it has been no easy trek. Shortly after getting married we had a few rifts due to family issues and a lack of communication. I remember loosing sleep and constantly feeling sick about the rift between us. I certainly lacked joy. But instead of me trying to fix the problem myself, I desperately handed it over to God and begged Him to fix things. Then I worked on talking to my husband, it wasn’t easy at first and many tears were shed. But I explained my feelings and actions and thoughts. Once all the family issues were resolved we found that our main issue was the lack of communication and not clearly understanding how each other communicated. After a couple months, now we are doing great. Sure we still argue about toothpaste and replacing the toilet paper roll, but we are working very hard to communicate and stand by each other and keep Christ as the center of our marriage. I dont know about your rift but I know God can mend anything no matter how bad or dismal the situation may seem. I hope this encourages you a bit and I’ll be praying for you as well. God Bless!

  • Dzifa

    JOY? I don’t know what that word means anymore. I wake up in the middle of the night filled with such longing. Longing for a better marriage, better life etc. I know i have to be content; but where lies the contentment when there’s this huge rift between my husband and I? A rift which doesn’t get mended much as I try or pray about… I pray God moves soon in this marriage; which is barely 4 months old.

  • Loradyrland

    SO badly needed this today!!  A VERY joyless day/week/month.  Thank you so much for the much needed encouragement!

  • Loradyrland

    SO badly needed this today!!  A VERY joyless day/week/month.  Thank you so much for the much needed encouragement!

  • Loradyrland

    SO badly needed this today!!  A VERY joyless day/week/month.  Thank you so much for the much needed encouragement!

  • Loradyrland

    SO badly needed this today!!  A VERY joyless day/week/month.  Thank you so much for the much needed encouragement!

  • http://tinyurl.com/4xlqjtx AUTO COMMENT TEST 009
  • Dalka

    Wow, that is exactly what I have been struggling with. Yesterday, I got up and read all the email scriptures and decided to do my 12 steps over that I have done before through Celebrate Recovery for hurts, habits and hang-ups.  Thank you so much for posting.

Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”