Dear Nathan,
I’ve heard that having a child is to let your heart run around outside your own body. What is it, then, to have a husband? That is like having two hearts in your chest: an extra one to pump life-sustaining blood to your cells when your own heart is broken. So many times in the last 13 years have I needed your heart! When our son was diagnosed with autism, when my mother slipped from this Earth into the arms of the Lord, when I lived in the valleys and the shadows—you kept me in heartbeats.
Lately, it seems that we struggle more than usual. We are meant to build each other up, but I’ve said so many things to peck away at you, like a chicken that cannot remember yesterday or see into tomorrow. I’m writing this letter to remind you, and most importantly, me, of why God designed people to leave their parents, and cleave to another. When I was a little girl, one night I stood in the front yard looking into the starry sky. Suddenly, I understood fully that the Earth was not resting on anything solid and that we were floating in space as surely as those stars. I wanted to lie down and hold onto the grass. Surely, the Lord gave you to me so that I could feel anchored in all this chaos.
Instead of asking you to forgive me, which you always do quickly, let me instead look to make your heart stronger for both of us. Today, I pledge to be your compass and stay true, to be your balm and comfort you, to be your sunshine and warm you. . I will be kinder, softer, and wiser. How could I not do this, for the man who would breathe for me if he could?
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Love Your Wife,
Angelina Vaquera-Linke
