Untapped Responses

Walking down the hall towards the bathroom, I hear thunderous footsteps approaching quickly.  My husband chases me into the bathroom tickling me the whole way.  He wraps his strong arms around me and kisses my cheek, while fits of laughter take me over.

In that instant I had an overwhelming joy and an intense love fill my heart.  The moment we encountered was spontaneous and surprising.  It’s funny how such a small action can add so much value to a relationship… and that is when I had this thought: How many “untapped” positive responses are couples missing out on because they don’t speak each other’s love language?

Many of you may be familiar with Dr. Gary Chapman’s book about the 5 love languages.  You can check it out HERE!  You can also take the test to see what your number 1 love language is HERE!

Most people tend to speak the love language that is number one on their own list.  They are the best at expressing love this way, because this is where they create their expectations to be loved.  It is difficult for most to step outside of their love language and intentionally speak to their spouse with their number one love language, just as it is difficult to speak the native language in a foreign country.  Although it may be a challenge to speak your spouse’s love language, it is not impossible.  It takes time, practice, selflessness, patience, creativity, and intentionality, but its not impossible; and the benefits that one receives when they do speak their spouse’s love language are monumental in marriage!

We need to be intentional lovers!  This means that we will need to seek understanding about our husbands and love and respect them according to how they would want us to show them, not according to how we want them to show us.  Men and women are dynamically different beings and we need to be aware of these differences.  Understanding our husband will help us to love them better, which in turn will motivate them to want to love us according to our love language!

Let us be aware of those small moments where an act of love can send shivers down our spouse’s spine.  Spontaneous, surprising acts of love that will fill our husband’s heart with joy.  Whether it is chasing them down a hall way, holding his hand, offering a neck massage, playing with his hair, kissing his ear, writing him a note, praying for him, or sacrificing time to do something you know HE would love.  Find small moments to express your love, admiration, respect and joy; tapping into positive responses through pursuing your spouse and speaking his love language!

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