Writen by: Unveiled Wife On July 17, 2012

I Am Lonely In My Marriage – A Devotional

There have been moments in my marriage I have felt utterly alone.  Severed and separated from the love I thought was strong enough to outlast anything.

lonelinessinmarriage

Have you ever thought to yourself, I am lonely in my marriage?

Sometimes marriage can leave us feeling the most isolated and lonely we have ever felt before. Probably because our spouse is supposed to be the closest one to us and when that bond broken it can leave a gaping wound in our hearts. Especially when we still see our spouse day in and day out, a reminder of the agony we are suffering.

Hardships, trials, frustration, bitterness, arguments, financial stress, lack of intimacy and resentment are just a few ways husbands and wives can be pushed into isolation.  Sinking into hopeless is a miserable place to be in a relationship, and unfortunately many marriages experience it.

The message I feel encouraged to bring to you today is God loves you!  I know that sounds cliche, but listen and truly accept these words, that are not just mine, but inspired by a magnanimous God…“He loves YOU!”  He loves you, He cares for you and your marriage, and He wants you to be fulfilled in every way!

“But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” – Romans 8:37-39

“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” – Deuteronomy 31:8

God has said,“Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” So we say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.  What can mere mortals do to me?” – Hebrews 13:5-6

God will always be there with you!  No matter how isolated or lonely you may feel in your marriage, cling to God!  Rest in His Word and pray in faith that you will experience restoration in your marriage relationship.

Do you ever get tired of praying for your husband or your marriage?

Some of you may have been in prayer about many things including praying for your husband or seeing change in your marriage, and I feel encouraged to tell you to KEEP PRAYING! Don’t lose hope just because you do not see answers… rather keep praying and petitioning in faith that God is moving!

“Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary.” – Galatians 6:9

“See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another and for all people.  Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:15-18

It is God’s will for you to continually pray. Do not let the hardships, the trials, and the negative emotions that rise, keep you from praying or spending time with God.  1 Thessalonians 5 continues in verse 19 by urging:

“Do not quench the Spirit.”

Continue to seek after God daily, whether your husband does or not.  Pray for your husband and wait on God.  Make sure you are being intentional about growing as a Godly wife and remain in faith, hope and love that your husband will too.

Know that God cares about the transformation of our character!  Sometimes we endure really painful seasons so that He can refine us.  So ask God how He is refining you!

Has your loneliness ever lead you to thoughts of divorce?

I would like to encourage those of you who are in such despair you are contemplating the pros and cons of separating from your husband.  DON’T LEAVE!  That option is never easy to even consider… but the reward you will receive by staying is so great!  The marriage covenant is too important to God and should be for us as well!  Hold fast and hold on tight for as long as you possibly can, in faith!!

*If you are considering leaving your husband due to a life threatening situation such as physical abuse, this is much different than the situations I am referring to above.  Please use your judgement and seek professional help.

How can we starve our negative emotions of loneliness in marriage and dwell on the friendship we have with God?

Simply draw near to God.  Reinforce your thoughts with God’s thoughts of you found throughout His Holy Word.

Your marriage will experience seasons that are difficult and challenging, but remember these words and trust in God to carry you through…

‘Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’ – Isaiah 41:10

Unveiled Wife

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My name is Jennifer and I began this BLOG to share my journey as a wife, unveiled, uncovered and wide open, to purge my heart of the pain I have encountered AND to encourage other women in the world who are, have been, or will soon be wives... READ MY STORY HERE

Join The Discussion, Leave A Comment Below!

  • http://unveiledwife.com/ Unveiled Wife

    I am so sorry to hear about all you have endured in your marriage. I am praying God would transform both of your hearts and reconcile your marriage!

  • disqus_oKDnCZedLq

    I needed this tonight… I have felt so alone and disgusting for the last 2 years. . :`( it started when I was 5 days away from having our first miracle child when he told his friend in front of me he wanted to sleep with my beautiful skinny large breasted sister.. I feel like that hurt just makes me still look down upon myself.. then last year on his job lake trip he chose to stay in a hot tub with another single woman while I went to bed hurt and upset.. now he acts like its okay message and snapchat girls from work.. :( im still praying and your message is giving me hope!

  • Sherri

    I feel so alone most days, like there is nothing left between us. His mother, father and brother are thrilled we are having problems. We don’t talk, he is never here. but I will not give up. I suggested counseling but his family is against it. So he will not go. Any Advice?

  • outoftouch

    I needed to read this thank you for this blog post.

  • Maggie

    Oh Sissy I hear you! You are NOT ALONE. I have the same fears and feelings in my very similar situation. I’ll pray for you.

  • http://unveiledwife.com/ Unveiled Wife

    Just lean on God and pray!

  • Sissy

    I have faith that God will release the hold alcohol has on my husband but sometimes it is hard to continue. Even though he is not violent and works everyday to provide for us it is hard watching him destroy himself. How do I continue to keep the faith and stay committed to my marriage during this trying time?

  • nicky

    I don’t know if i have the strength to make it but i’m trying so hard. Thank you for your words of comfort and encouragement. They really helped.

  • Sue

    I know what you have felt.I’ve been in the loneliness side myself. I’ve read The FIVE LANGUAGES OF LOVE, and my marriage has been blessed so greatly with the knowledge of how my husband feels loved and how by adding small changes to what you do can make love flourish again.

    I read a post on unveiledewife where someone posted she showed her husband how she loved him by speaking his love language. I have been speaking my husband’s for a month and I noticed a change in him. We are closer now.I feel less lonely. He is giving me the love I was missing… Please Google it. Do the profiles test and start feeling loved by your hubby again

  • http://unveiledwife.com/ Unveiled Wife

    I believe prayer works! It’s not a way of wishing things would be better, it’s a way of communicating with God who has the power to change things! It’s about aligning your will with His!

  • Blessedpeach

    I’m willing but does prayer really work? I been with this man for 8 yrs married for 2! I’m so discouraged.

  • T.Mora

    This came at a good moment, I sometimes feel like I am sabotaging my marriage because it is not changing fast enough, with this I will take a step back and allow my husband to heal and I will re-focus my energy into praying for our marriage.

  • http://unveiledwife.com/ Unveiled Wife

    Praying right now! Have you talked to him about it?

  • Lonely wife

    I have been married for almost 24 yrs, 2nd marriage for both. I am feeling very lonely and unloved. My husband who reads his Bible daily, has not wanted anything to do with me, no intimacy for the last 10 yrs, no I love you, no hugs or kisses. I am here to feed him and my son, do his laundry, and run errands, clean the house and take care of the things that need taken care of. I feel so rejected! Please, please pray for me. Thank you!

  • Neshama

    Hello I pray that we can be of some help to one another and that the Lord would bring healing to both of us thru this website. I just wrote something earlier and lost it, so Im alittle saddened that it happened, anyway you ask when did I start seeking, When i felt drained and sapped of all joy, ( late) when it got so bad I dreamt of the day and time I would leave him .. as I dove into the word and his promises my husband never changed but my heart towards him did, I began to see the bitterness turned into pity toward him he is unable to give he is unemotionally connected wow thats sad.. How he got there I dont know I only know I will not sit down and set up a tent in this valley and have a pity party. the main thing I still find hard is using my mouth to speak good things for a while I was speaking ugly about him all the time when he would leave to wok I would just complain and complain about what he wasnt and how he made me sick and suddenly thats how I felt its been about 1 year that I am turning that around and speaking good things and showing mercy towards him the Lord is the one that will bring judgement… I guess I sow what I want to recieve back and one day I will see a harvest amen hang in there stop in again …

  • Feeling trapped and hopeless

    Greetings dear sister!! Your marriage plight reads exactly as does mine…yet I have been married now for 12 years. My husband does not want me in any intimate way. No holding hands….no cuddling….no compliments….no sexual intimacy…no nothing. I adminre your strength in the Lord and have been praying for the strength and joy in Him that you describe. May I ask you??????……when you started seriously seeking comfort for your lonliness and rejection in Jesus…did He send you comfort immediately or did you have to wait a long time??? What was your experience like the first time you found comfort from Him….and a renewal in your joy?? I only ask so that I can find strength and encouragement in your experience. Blessings to you!!

  • Abigael

    Thank you for this message !

  • http://unveiledwife.com/ Unveiled Wife

    Thank you for sharing so openly Adrianne! I know your words will encourage women! I pray that your intimacy is fulfilled in your marriage! May God renew your relationship in Jesus name!!

  • Neshama

    I am married 6 years 2nd marriage for me 1st for him, We both love the Lord my husband truly studies the word and we are very active in our church. God has done great things in our lifes, that is evident yet between all the blessings I see one thing as not only a lack but a curse in our bedroom , but we have had no sex for over 2 years nothing … and Intimacy there is none my husband will not even kiss me open mouthed he pecks me on the lips or cheek like a mother would her son. we have tried counseling but he never finishes it, right when the root of his problems are getting ready to be exposed he folds up and takes off. There are times when i feel like packing up and leaving but when I put that in a sentance with the equal sign after it.. everything after it tends to satisfy me and its selfish… I want to live to please God and live peacebly with all men even my husband. I have to do right by God even when he is not doing right by me, even if he is out of order for whatever reason… I have to do right I have to stay holy to the Lord, He will take care of it. I believe that he is faithful
    Do I get weary, yes, do I get lonely oh big time, do I cry, sometimes so much my eyes are swollen but all in all God gives me great comfort and he restores my joy.. I believe the best for my husband and for my marriage in Jesus name
    For all you woman that are thinking about finding comfort or love in the arms of someone else, Please dont the arms that you think are their to make your burdens lighter will soon become the arms that are heavy and choking you from the Love of God… God had an original plan for your marriage and for marriage dont let anything come in to cloud your vision from the promise that he made over you when you came to him as one… One more minute one more hour one more day…. Dont give up

  • http://unveiledwife.com/ Unveiled Wife

    I am go blessed to know you were encouraged and I pray that this season will pass by quickly for you! May God give you the strength to endure!

  • Praying Wife:)

    I wanted to thank you for your obedience and honesty in what you have written. So many times within the church or the body of Christ as a whole we, as wives feel that everyone else must be SO happy and doing great in their marriage. I am at a place with a 13 mon., old where my husband is in school and work and when he comes home there is no desire to even talk let alone be intimate with me.I often feel it is embarrassing for me to consistently cry out for his attention and love when I feel that should be so natural toward your wife. I know he loves me and so does God but tihs season has been so very lonely. God teaches us a whole bunch during these times and your devotional today was used by God to encourage me to keep praying for, loving and serving my husband

  • dltmdc

    Thank you for being obedient and sharing with others what God has laid upon your heart! This article was very encouraging! I am so glad God loves me, even when it seems no one else does! Have a blessed day!

  • Cookie

    I needed to hear this to!

  • http://unveiledwife.com/ Unveiled Wife

    :) God knew!

  • http://unveiledwife.com/ Unveiled Wife

    Lord, I pray over this couple! May you heal both of them! Break the chains of addiction of pornography and require him Lord. May you mend the damage caused to their relationship and restore this wife! May your power renew their marriage and fulfill them in Jesus Name Amen!!

  • Army.wife

    O goodness this is what I needed to hear today. Thank You.

  • Anonymous

    I am so thankful I have run across your blog. I have been married for 6 years now and my husband has issues with porn addicition. I found out right after we got engaged and thought it was done and over. But over the years it has butted it’s ugly head into our lives again. 6 months ago it came to light once again and I was seriously contemplating divorce. He said this time he has gotten it into the light (by telling his dad and meeting with a guy from church to talk about it). That this time has been the easiest yet for him. I still get very upset and angry to think that he has runined our union and how he could not think of me or our kids. I still deal with a lot of mixed emotions and I know that God means for us to be together not apart. I just pray you can pray for me and my husband that we can get stronger through this and come closer together. Thank you!

  • keltrinswife

    Sometimes, God is all we have. Be blessed :)

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