I received this testimony from a wife in the Unveiled Wife Community, a wife who desired to remain anonymous. I am grateful for her bravery to share her story and I am confident it will inspire more wives in our community.
I can finally sit here, look back on last year and share it with you. I’ve asked to remain anonymous, however I really felt I needed to share my story with all of the other wives. We’ve sought out help or improvements in our marriages that all lead us to Unveiled Wife. I’ve prayed with you, I’ve asked for prayers, and through that we are apart of a great community.
Here is my story…
In mid-late 2012 my husband took a job that had him traveling often. He was home for Christmas, gone a few days and back for New Years of 2013. A week later he tells me he doesn’t want “us” anymore. With past hurts from his younger years and time served in the Military, we both knew he struggled with PTSD, however I never thought it would effect our marriage in a way that resulted in separation.
For several months after the news, he would travel back home, and back to work. Each time he was home I always let him know how much I loved him, cared for him, and believed in him. I always shared with him that Jesus loves us and our marriage.
While going through his laundry and putting it away one visit, I stumbled across evidence he may be seeing another woman. Instead of lashing out at him like I wanted to, I came to him with forgiveness. He didn’t ask for it, he didn’t admit to an affair, he just thanked me. It was hard to forgive him when he didn’t admit to it, he came up with a believable excuse so I let it be. That’s the cool thing about Jesus! He has already forgiven us before we have asked for it. I wanted to pour out the same grace to my husband.
A few weeks later in the late spring of 2013 I got restless, and I asked for some answers. I find out he is moving across the country in a few days. The arrangements have already been made, and the affair was real. Of course I am beyond tears, I am beyond angry, and for several moments I was not very graceful with my words. I got relentless with my questions. I wanted as much information as possible. I knew at this point I couldn’t stop him from leaving. He was moving in with another woman and her son.
The woman had left her husband to be with mine.
It really hurt to hear every detail, and my husband struggled to tell me everything. I knew it hurt him to see me hurt but at that point I honestly didn’t care. Like I said I wanted all the details. Before he drove off, with everything he owned in a moving truck, towing his car he let me pray out loud next to him.
Every single night, starting with the first night I found out he wanted out, I prayed. I emailed him parts of the Bible verse in our wedding. I studied the Bible, I put words of encouragement around my apartment, and most importantly I never took off my wedding rings (unless I was at the gym). I didn’t tell family, friends or co-workers what was happening and he agreed. I wrote him long emails, some I sent, some I didn’t. I also wrote the other woman letters, that I never actually sent. I prayed for her marriage to be restored. I prayed for minimal effects on her son, and a smooth transition back to her husband. I prayed silly prayers that the son would annoy my husband or the woman would have habits that would get so under his skin he couldn’t handle it. I prayed he would feel uncomfortable, and I prayed that every night he would lay awake knowing that the woman next to him wasn’t his wife. I prayed that he would have dreams about us and our future family.
My husband had only been gone for a few months when we had made arrangements to see each other. He walked through the hotel doors into my arms and cried. He sat on the couch buried his head in his hands and asked for my forgiveness. Said he was ready to come home…
Here we are almost a year later, working together building our home and our dreams. My marriage was restored by the grace of God! Certain moments and actions trigger a memory. I have to remember to tell myself that God had His hands placed around my marriage from the start. No one has a perfect marriage, we are not perfect, but I have learned a lot. My relationship with God is greater than ever. I understand more about tragedy and the truth behind all of it. Past hurts, hatred and regrets were all healed through this storm.
During sleepless nights, angry cries, and those moments your entire body hurts so much, you lay back and wonder what can be taken from these moments. I knew the day he drove away he would be home, so while praying for him and our marriage I prayed for myself. I learned of the type of woman I wanted to be. I knew more than ever I wanted to live like a Proverbs 31 woman. I wanted to learn how to love others the way Jesus loves us. As cliche as it may sound, I have asked myself “what would Jesus do?” and I try to implement that same grace.
I am still praying every day for my husband, he deals with a lot of guilt for what we went through, and he doesn’t have the same relationship with Jesus like I do, or like he used too. I keep telling him I am ok, and we are never alone. Even though God has made a breakthrough in our marriage, I am still praying for his day of salvation.
I hope this gave someone the courage to not give up, and to keep fighting. Keep standing in the gap for your marriage! Be intentional with your prayers, and be specific. Pull out your spiritual sword and armor, the enemy will not go down without a fight. We are all worth fighting for. Marriage is a beautiful gift from God, and I always feel my heart break for the broken. Don’t hesitate to leave a comment and ask for your own prayers or questions. I reached out to strong Christian women who are fighters, and I believe I am stronger because of this battle.