This Is For Wives Who Are Married To A Non-Believer

When I was thinking about which topic I should choose for my article this month, God continued to bring the same topic to mind:  women who have husbands who are non-believers or whose husbands have turned away from the Lord. Each time this topic came to mind, I dismissed it because this is not my story. My husband is a Christian and has been throughout our entire marriage and dating relationship.

So, how could I write about this topic? The truth is, God has continued to bring women who are in this circumstance into my life and has asked me to minister to them. Although at first I felt ill-equipped, God gave me the words to use. The verse that I have shared most often as a form of encouragement is from 1 Peter 3:1,2

In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives.

Words. As someone who writes, I find myself both loving and hating them. Words have the power to bring calm or chaos and have the ability to cause pleasure or pain. I believe that’s why Peter focuses here on our actions and behaviors instead of our words. It is clear to me from this passage that being a woman who is a reflection of Jesus, a woman after God’s heart – not by telling, but by showing – is important. Not just for ourselves, but for all those we come in contact with, especially in our homes and with our husbands.

I also believe strongly in the importance of sharing the basics of your situation with others.

Don’t keep it hidden.

photo: @amandaseeyoudarrr
photo: @amandaseeyoudarrr

Although it may be tempting to withdraw from other women who seem to have the perfect husbands, don’t be afraid to use your community for support. You are not alone. Ask for prayer, from family and friends. Despite your desire for everything to be okay, ask for peace, during your time of waiting, so that you are able to praise God no matter what. To see His mighty hand in everything and know that you can trust Him.

…yet I will rejoice in the Lord! I will be joyful in the God of my salvation! (Habakkuk 3:18)

Because no matter what comes before the yet – whether it’s a husband who has never believed or one who has once believe but has begun to doubt – God in his greatness, power, and mercy always comes after it. That will never change.

I recently found a copy of a poem called Perfect Love. I believe it was originally intended to speak to single women who are waiting to meet their spouse. However, I think that there are sections of the poem that apply to all women who are waiting on God in the area of love.

God says to the Christian…

I want you to stop planning and stop wishing

and allow me to give you the most thrilling plan existing,

one that you cannot imagine.

You just keep watching me, expecting the greatest things.

Just keep listening and learning to the things that I tell you.

You just wait, that’s all.

Don’t look at the things you think you want,

you just keep looking at me

or you’ll miss what I want to show you

and then when you’re ready I’ll surprise you.

Ladies, during your waiting, be intentional about watching and listening to God. Work toward exemplifying His characteristics. It is when you seek this intimacy with God that you will come to know him better. When you go into God’s presence daily, asking Him how you can become a better reflection of Him, I am convinced that one day He will surprise you with His perfect love.

Then, your wait will be over.

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