Today we have Darlene Schacht, The Time Warp Wife, contributing for the What Is Love Series! Darlene also writes about marriage and has incredible encouragements for wives… go check her out on Facebook!
Love Keeps No Record Of Wrongs
“He got to sit in the front last time,” Nathaniel said, shoving Graham out of the way.
As the two of them were busy pushing and pulling for their right to ride shotgun, Madison slipped through to claim her spot in the front seat.
“Mom!!” they complained through closed windows. “She always sits there!”
And so it went day after day until I started them on a rotation.
Now the argument is about the order of the rotation. Nathaniel always insists that we have it wrong, Madison says that she’s right, and frankly I’m never concerned enough to keep an accurate count.
Whether we’re talking about car seats, cookies, or who took the last cracker, they’re consumed with keeping track lest they find themselves with one crumb less than their siblings.
One day I sat them down for a talk. It was time to learn a lesson in humility.
“The Bible tells us that the first shall be last,” I said. “So if you always insist on being the first here on earth, you won’t be the first up in heaven.”
Well, guess what happened the next day? We couldn’t get the kids out of the van. They took this principle a little too far when each of them insisted on being the last kid out.
Sounds petty, doesn’t it? But you know what? There’s rarely a day when I don’t see adults acting much the same way.
Take this for example… if I write an article on wives joyfully serving our families you can bet that someone will leave a reminder in the comments that this must go both ways. On the flip side, if I mention the important role of a husband, I’ll get the same thing.
I can’t help but feel that we’re placing love on a scale.
We’re more concerned that it might tip one way or the other than we are about loving in the best way we know how.
Jesus tipped the scales big time. While we were yet sinners–lying, stealing, cheating, self-centered sinners–He gave up His life. He took the weight of our sin upon Himself and died in the most horrific way that we might have life.
Love gives up its right to be right and steps down so that others can shine. It is not self-seeking.
So what does this look like in the heat of an argument? I’m not saying that you shouldn’t communicate your frustrations with your husband. By all means do! What I am saying is that real love gives and keeps giving without expecting a return on the investment.
“Love… it keeps no record of wrongs.” – 1 Corinthians 15:5, NIV
When you really think about what those words mean–keeps no record of wrongs–we see that this attitude closes the door on resentment.
If I were to pin point the one thing that led me to almost destroying my marriage it would be that I was keeping a record of wrongs. And the very thing that transformed my marriage to the place it is now it would be that Michael didn’t keep a record of wrongs. While I was at my very worst he gave me his best.
“Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” – Romans 5:7-8, NIV
You are loved by an almighty God,
– Darlene Schacht The Time Warp Wife
Practice focusing on current issues with your husband. Resist bringing up past offenses or hurt. Allow room for you and your husband to resolve issues and ask God to heal your heart so that you can move forward. No matter where your husband is… give him your best, always.
Thank you for this message today. It can be so easy to bring up past offenses, especially the ones that hurt me so deeply I still feel the raw wound it left. However, I trust in you and I ask that you would please heal me from those wounds. Please help me to let them go and move on. I pray that my husband and I can forgive each other and resolve issues that occur. Help us to focus on the current. I give you permission to transform my way of thinking so that I do not keep a record of wrongs from my husband. Rather help me to see the good in our relationship in Jesus name AMEN!
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. – 1 Corinthians 13 : 4-8
Questions to discuss in the comments:
Are you a wife that struggles to let go of the past?
Will you commit to focusing on current issues with your husband without bringing up past offenses?