Sex & Intimacy In Marriage

Sex and intimacy are key elements of marriage and they are topics that proved to be the greatest hardships in my marriage. I am still learning the importance of sex and intimacy, and I feel there are many other wives like me who need more knowledge and encouragement in this area of marital oneness. I hope that our Christian culture will make it easier to talk about sex and intimacy so that others are aware of its relevance in marriage.

The master bedroom should be a place for couples to relax, re-energize and enjoy each other. I had read an article many years ago stating this wonderful idea and it has stuck with me ever since. I have always tried to keep our bedroom a special place. I decorated the room with candles and kept the piles of clutter away. I would make the bed each morning. I hung pictures of our wedding on the wall. My husband and I also created a wonderful piece of art together by painting our bodies and pressing them onto a canvas, but you […]

Recently, I sat down and interviewed my husband regarding sex. I figured by doing this, I would kill two birds with one stone. For one, I would learn more about what my husband prefers… sexually. And two, I would have a steamy article topic for Unveiled Wife. What I didn’t expect, was to find out that not all guys can be stigmatized with the same shallow views about sex. It’s my hope that by sharing this with you, you may see things from a man’s perspective. And that it will possibly give you a little deeper insight into your man. […]

Not too long ago a brave Unveiled Wife Contributor, Shannon Chilson, transparently shared her personal struggle with pornography.  Her words resonated with me and many other women. It is an issue that isn’t really talked about, especially in Christian environments, the very places we desire to find help from our vices. We need to address the issue of pornography and the truth that women are just as tempted to sin sexually as men are.  Our culture has ingrained in our minds that pornography is a man’s struggle. It is indeed a man’s struggle, and my prayer is that a revolution happens where men stand against this […]

You have an incredible gift, the gift of learning. We all learn through experience as well as through reading and researching.  One of the greatest tools used in retraining behaviors, improving, breaking habits, or making adjustments in life is learning. The more educated we are about ourselves and about the issues that concern us, the better we are at making choices that benefit us and others. I use to struggle with pornography, and one way my perspective and desire changed about it came as I learned more about its devastating affects to my body/mind, learning what the industry is truly […]

Opening my heart is never easy. Yet, here I am. I want others to learn from my testimony.  I struggle to name this sin, yet millions of people all over the world struggle with it too. I pray you not pass judgment upon me. I plead for you to take this issue seriously. I pray for those who struggle like I did, to never give up because when the flesh of a sinful man or woman calls out, it calls loud and long. The flesh cries out to have its desires fulfilled, even if its wrong. The personal example I […]

Attack (definition): take aggressive action against (a place or enemy forces) with weapons or armed force typically in a battle or war. I have them often. I find I usually have them right before GOD is doing something HUGE in my life. They are awful, down right horrible at times. Attacks are not something I ever want, pray for or desire for anyone…but in a weird peaceful way they make me smile looking at them through God’s eyes. I sometimes become numb in the attack and do not feel the excruciating pain because God allows me to see the attack through […]

I will cut to the chase on sharing with you how my husband found out about my secret affair… I told him. It was not easy, in fact it was a painful experience for both of us.  We were driving in the car when the conviction to come clean overwhelmed my heart.  I wanted to stuff it down into a dark crevice never to be unearthed. I wanted to accept the lie that I shouldn’t tell him, that it wouldn’t be worth it.  I wanted to pretend like it never happened. But more than that…I wanted the brokenness in my […]

I had the incredible honor of being able to interview Dr. Juli Slattery and Linda Dillow this week! As I woke up early Thursday morning, I was eager to chat with these two brave and godly women who are paving the way for Christians to openly discuss intimate issues. Dr. Juli Slattery wrote a book titled “No More Headaches” that revolutionized my perspective of sex in marriage and it was one of the first book reviews I have shared with the UW Community.  I highly recommend it to every wife I connect with. This week was a little rough.  My […]

The Unveiled Wife Ministry has evolved over the years.  Many of the articles posted are related to marriage topics that are relevant and helpful to wives.  Looking at this title you may wonder what parabens have to do with marriage, but my words may surprise you! As I share on my About page {which you can read HERE} my husband and I could not have sex for the first four years of our marriage.  Pain seized my body every time that we attempted to have sex.  In November of 2010 my husband was reminded of a story we heard of a […]

While there are many parts to a God-honoring marriage, one important factor is satisfying sexual intimacy that honors Him. So how can the church support and encourage deep physical connection in marriage? How can we wives support each other’s intimate lives? 1. Speak well of godly intimacy. All too often, wives speak ill of sex and the husbands who want it. Too many Christian women dismiss its significance in marriage, mock husbands who desire sex more frequently, mention using sex as a bartering tool (“If he wants sex, he has to clean the garage first”), or clam up about the […]

Intimacy is making yourself known as you get to know your spouse deeply.  Having an intimate relationship with your husband is important as security and trust is cultivated.  Establishing an intimate relationship with your husband provides a firm foundation where he will feel comfortable to talk to you about anything going on in his life, while knowing he is loved and cherished. Intimacy has its greatest impact in conversation, where you get to know each other as you share the deep parts of your hearts. It is imperative that you brush up on your question asking skills.  Instead of asking […]

I recently came across a discussion on the UW Facebook page within the comments of an article I had posted – an article that talked about sex and intimacy in marriage.  It was a creative article, written by my friend J, a new spin on a well known Christmas poem, “Twas The Night Before Christmas.” The last few lines are really powerful in my opinion, which was my biggest motivation to publish the article: You laughed with joy, he responded with a whistle, “Now that was a Christmas Eve with some sizzle!” And then he spoke with whispered delight: “Thank you, […]

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